Best Insult Ever!

[JemothSkarii]

For an original (which one of my friend's said after he nagged me to try sing METALLICA)
"You sound like a whale being penetrated by a truck"

I rofl'd on this...

You get a cookie...

Woo! *takes cookie* I AM quite hungry, I hope it doesn't go Dr. Weird on me...
Admittedly, only person who thinks my singing is good is my GF, but she can actually sing

 

[Jake0fTrades]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Now go get your Mom
I'm done with you

 

[Guinasso]

I must be standing in tall grass because a douchebag has appeared

 

[Jake0fTrades]

I'm going to hang your eyes from my Christmas tree.

I've never actually used that before, but imagine how disturbing it would be to hear someone say that with virtually no emotion.

 

[sheic99]

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell" - The Exorcist

+ 1 when used against someone with a dead mother
+ 2 when used against someone who believes in hell, with a dead mother

How about in song?

 

[Dango]

My favorite is definitely:

"You and thinking is an oxymoron."

And there's also Zoidberg's "Your music's bad and you should feel bad!"

 

[Drakmeire]

this is beyond words.
<youtube=CIqRxBtNrFs>

 

[HT_Black]

"I wouldn't piss down your throat if you were on fire."
"I'd say go boil your head, but I kind of like water."

 

[Drakmeire]

Ass-butt.

Anyone who can tell me why wins 25 internets worth of awesome.

Castiel!!!!!
and the clip itself
<spoiler=Castiel being awesome><youtube=OzCFe9bBvuM>

 

[LarenzoAOG]

"You long titty, no nipple, 2+2 not knowin' what the fuck it is *****!- Kevin Hart

Also my friend Kyle once called me a "Dick-wiener," I laughed so hard I had to catch my breath for over a minute.

 

[Mister Squiggly]

A good couple of decades ago I was skateboarding with a couple of friends, and an old guy with a walking stick came over and had a go at us, and told us to move on. We refused and the old man said "I've been on this earth for 85 years!". To which my friend replied "It's about time you died then, isn't it mate?". We laughed so hard I never forgot it...

 

[Angus565]

I once told somebody that they had more rolls then a Swedish bakery.

 

[Nimcha]

Not exactly a direct insult, but anyway:

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Ass-butt.

Anyone who can tell me why wins 25 internets worth of awesome.

Castiel!!!!!
and the clip itself
<youtube=OzCFe9bBvuM>

Exactly. And for your prize, I will do you one better.

Spoiler

(NOTE: Might want to put that video in a spoiler tab, BTW...)

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

I dunno, Shakespeare had some of the best insults ever... There's a website somewhere where you can make your own Shakespearean insult, it's pretty fun when you're bored.

 

[CrustyOatmeal]

i made this one up back when i was 8 or so when i was pissed off at my brother

"you're the reason why we spay and neuter pets"

 

[delanofilms]

Ass-butt.

Anyone who can tell me why wins 25 internets worth of awesome.

LoadingReadyRun?

 

[wrightguy0]

"you Snotty Faced heap of parrot droppings, shut your festering gob you tit, your type makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee nosed, malodorous Pervert!"

monty python has come up with great stuff

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Ass-butt.

Anyone who can tell me why wins 25 internets worth of awesome.

LoadingReadyRun?

Nope.

 

[HeySeansOnline]

"You are pathetic in every facet of your miserable fucking existence, you worthless accumulation of carbon."