Biggest douchebag NPC's in gaming?

[Johnny Novgorod]

This guy in Spyro 2. No douchebag per se but he was always bad news whenever he had a favor to ask, usually leading to some incredibly painful escort missions.

Random comment: He looks bit like Crash Bandicoot. just a little bit.

The jumpy eyebrows and the big dumb grin make for quite a resemblance.

 

[DementedSheep]

That asshole in Skyrim named Nazeem who keeps going on about the cloud district. He followed me into my house once so I murdered him. Any one in Skyrim who uses that voice too is instantly annoying as well. Many of the kids are asshole too. Especailly Bulgruufs kids

I think Anomen was the first NPC I truly hated in a game.

Just look at his face. how can you not want to beat the shit out of that? At least if he is in your party the others mock him mercilessly. I don't care that the arrogance and bullshit stories is cover for his insecurity or that his dad is a prick. That doesn't make him any less annoying.

Branka in DA:O, anyone who gotten to the deep roads and meet her should know why.

The beggars in assassin creed who have the audacity to ask you for money after throwing rocks at you.

 

[yaoinut]

Queen Anora, from Dragon Age: Origin.

I'll admit, this is mostly a personal choice, but my god, I hated this little...

I saved you from imprisonment, you claim claim I kidnap you and get me locked in away in a tower. You constantly show me how power hungry you are, and essentially demand my support for the throne, or you'll make up lies about me.

Dear, sweet Anora, I happily take pleasure in Cousland female run through, just so I can become Queen and laugh in your face.

 

[Bob Thenecromancer]

http://dragonsdogma.wikia.com/wiki/Feste FUCK YOU!!!!!!

 

[Tubzbuster]

Saren from Mass Effect

 

[RedDeadFred]

Make's me think of ASOIF where everyone,

Spoiler

bar Stannis, just ignores the Night's Watch in their warnings about the others and mance rayders army.

Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything you wouldn't have read yet:

Spoiler

To be fair, hardly anyone believes in the Others and the Night's Watch has deteriorated in it's quality of brothers so it makes sense that most people would be highly skeptical of their warnings about them. In regards to Mance, The Lannisters benefit from him attacking the North. He could have destroyed the North with his numbers if he'd gotten through the wall. Then, Tywin could have proclaimed him the new warden of the North and made a peace offering. Even if Mance decided to not accept a peace offering, I highly doubt his poorly armored wildlings could have done much against the might of both Highgarden and Casterly Rock. I think they went over this in one of the small council meetings but I can't remember for sure.

OT: Brucie from GTAIV is probably the biggest douchebag I have ever encountered in a game. I can't really describe how much I loathe him.

 

[Rooster893]

The biggest douche bag NPC is Eric Sparrow. He takes every opportuiny possible to screw you over and make you look like a dick infront of Tony Hawk. He 'forgets' to sign you up to the Pro/Am contest in Vancouver, gets you kicked off the team once you finally get Tony's attention and then he steals the jump tape from Hawai'i and says he made the jump.

Fuck that guy. It's a good thing you can make him cry like a ***** in a second playthrough.

Took the words right out of my mouth. And you get to watch Bam Margera make him piss his pants in THUG 2. So funny.

I'm going to go with Rosh Penin from Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy. Little shit almost kills you IN THE TUTORIAL just so he could finish the course first. And then he turns to the Dark Side later in the game, and you have to choice to kill him (Dark Side ending) or turn him back (Light Side ending). I was REALLY tempted to kill him.

 

[Quellist]

The Fucking Mayor of Freehaven in Advance Wars Days of Ruin/Dark Conflict. A greedy selfish passive aggressive douche. Brenners Wolves pretty much rescued him and started up Freehaven in the backstory but he wont give them any help or support and comes up with whiny shit like "Will you put aside your honour and raise weapons against us?" after flatly refusing to help, while bleating pathetically for aid when Freehaven needs military support. When Caulder gave him a vial of poison telling him it was vaccine and the greedy bastard wolfed it down i think i actually punched the air.

 

[Old Father Eternity]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned. . .
*inhales deeply*
SIIIINNNDRRIIIIII!

He is the most awesome Chaos sorcerer in the 40K games, co-ruling with the most awesome Chaos lord Eliphas the Inheritor, that bastard just would not stay down.

 

[Casual Shinji]

In my next playthrough im definitely going to just kick Lautrec off Firelink Shrine first chance I get.

On my second playthrough I decided to let the bastard rot in his jail, but he ultimately just escapes on his own and goes off to kill the Firelink maiden anyway.

Odlly enough you can actually summon Lautrec as a friendly phantom. I don't know how, but I got summoned by this guy who was able to summon him in the area right before the Gaping Dragon.

 

[GonzoGamer]

Witness OG Loc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQBllqvxMl4

 

[Arslan Aladeen]

Never got up to him in Demon's Souls, going from my experience, Demon's Souls seems to be the harder of the two. Which is weird because a lot of people claim the opposite

Same here. I think the whole bonfire checkpoint system and refilling your estus (health) flask made it easier to deal with. I get killed in Dark Souls? No prob, All my health potion is refilled, and it's usually not that far from where I started. I get killed in Demon Souls? My total health is overall reduced unless I become human, any health items I used don't get replenished, and since I died, I have no souls to buy more (unless I have those item souls), plus I have to trek through the entire level all over. And if I die too many more times, the harder enemies start appearing.

As far as douchebags go? A lot of the GTA side characters seemed like douches to me, I think I'll go with Brucie from GTA 4.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

A friend of mine told me about an NPC from the classic Spyro games. His name is "Moneybags".

That greedy whore needs to die.

 

[mrhappy1489]

Make's me think of ASOIF where everyone,

Spoiler

bar Stannis, just ignores the Night's Watch in their warnings about the others and mance rayders army.

Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything you wouldn't have read yet:

Spoiler

To be fair, hardly anyone believes in the Others and the Night's Watch has deteriorated in it's quality of brothers so it makes sense that most people would be highly skeptical of their warnings about them. In regards to Mance, The Lannisters benefit from him attacking the North. He could have destroyed the North with his numbers if he'd gotten through the wall. Then, Tywin could have proclaimed him the new warden of the North and made a peace offering. Even if Mance decided to not accept a peace offering, I highly doubt his poorly armored wildlings could have done much against the might of both Highgarden and Casterly Rock. I think they went over this in one of the small council meetings but I can't remember for sure.

OT: Brucie from GTAIV is probably the biggest douchebag I have ever encountered in a game. I can't really describe how much I loathe him.

See I kind of disagree with that

Spoiler

If Mance was able to control the north, it would mean that he controls Moat Cailan which would mean that no land army would be able to attack from the south and considering Mance's intelligence he would know about this. From the north he could use whatever resources that were left by the Northmen to strength his army. With 40,000 wildling soldiers he could quite easily pose a significant threat to the south and I don't think there is much that Tywin could have done to appease him. Besides if this had happened I could almost imagine Robb siding with him and using the new numbers to pose a larger threat to Tywin and the men of highgarden. On another note I always thought it weird that no one from the north had the idea to let Mace Tyrell march his men through Moat Cailan and then smash him on the different terrain. It sounds illogical but I'm sure someone clever enough would have been able to pull it off.

 

[Syntax Error]

Not really an NPC, but it's got to be Citan Uzuki from Xenogears.

One of the LOOOOONG list of d-baggery of his was

Spoiler

Allowing his two friends to commit Cannibalism-by-proxy. His friends were hungry, and they were in a food processing plant, so they ate the contents of a wayward can in the storage can. Before passing through the facility, he warned them to "prepare" themselves for what they are about to see.

Yeah, he's a jerk, AND he's one of the good guys.

 

[Spiritmaster]

Jarlaxle in Baldur's Gate 2. Love him in the books, hate him for abandoning me to Githyanki and shark people though.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Make's me think of ASOIF where everyone,

Spoiler

bar Stannis, just ignores the Night's Watch in their warnings about the others and mance rayders army.

Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything you wouldn't have read yet:

Spoiler

To be fair, hardly anyone believes in the Others and the Night's Watch has deteriorated in it's quality of brothers so it makes sense that most people would be highly skeptical of their warnings about them. In regards to Mance, The Lannisters benefit from him attacking the North. He could have destroyed the North with his numbers if he'd gotten through the wall. Then, Tywin could have proclaimed him the new warden of the North and made a peace offering. Even if Mance decided to not accept a peace offering, I highly doubt his poorly armored wildlings could have done much against the might of both Highgarden and Casterly Rock. I think they went over this in one of the small council meetings but I can't remember for sure.

OT: Brucie from GTAIV is probably the biggest douchebag I have ever encountered in a game. I can't really describe how much I loathe him.

See I kind of disagree with that

Spoiler

If Mance was able to control the north, it would mean that he controls Moat Cailan which would mean that no land army would be able to attack from the south and considering Mance's intelligence he would know about this. From the north he could use whatever resources that were left by the Northmen to strength his army. With 40,000 wildling soldiers he could quite easily pose a significant threat to the south and I don't think there is much that Tywin could have done to appease him. Besides if this had happened I could almost imagine Robb siding with him and using the new numbers to pose a larger threat to Tywin and the men of highgarden. On another note I always thought it weird that no one from the north had the idea to let Mace Tyrell march his men through Moat Cailan and then smash him on the different terrain. It sounds illogical but I'm sure someone clever enough would have been able to pull it off.

Everything you've said is true or at least very possible but the people we've both left out are the Iron Men.

Spoiler

They'd probably be able to defeat Mance. I'm not sure of their numbers but they are probably around equal and they are significantly better armed. Not sure if you've read AFFC but it depicts a battle from the point of view of Victarion Greyjoy. He is in full plate armor and his foes' blows do almost nothing while he cuts them apart with ease. Now obviously they aren't all as heavily armored as him but you get the idea. Of course, there is the possibility that they'd see the Wildling's ideals as similar to their own (take what you want by paying the iron price is kind of similar to what the Wildlings are doing) and ally with them. That would be pretty scary for the realm. However, they might just decide that the North is theirs alone and fight the Wildlings. Given their arrogance, this would not surprise me. I don't think the Wildlings would ever ally with the North though because they are the ones who mainly oppress them.

Now, assuming the Wildlings actually take the North for themselves, yes they would be able to prevent any land army from coming through but they would be poorly equipped to deal with an assault from the sea. The Lannisters areallied with the Redwynes who control the most powerful fleet in the realm. They could easily attack the White Harbor and attack the North from there.

As far as why Robb didn't let Mace take Moat Cailan, he wanted to attack the South. Giving the choke point to the enemy would ensure his rebellion's failure. Not to mention, Tywin would not allow Mace to fall for such a trap. They would likely regroup, scout, then decide how to pursue once they had their full strength. They would likely leave a a decent sized garrison at Moat Cailan and then attack the North with their full combined force. Even if the Southerners were forced to retreat, the Northern men would still suffer major losses and they wouldn't be able to retake Moat Cailan. They way I see it, once the Tyrells joined the Lannisters, they pretty much guaranteed that Robb would lose the war.

Then again, these are all hypotheticals that we will never really know the answer to.

 

[mrhappy1489]

Make's me think of ASOIF where everyone,

Spoiler

bar Stannis, just ignores the Night's Watch in their warnings about the others and mance rayders army.

Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything you wouldn't have read yet:

Spoiler

To be fair, hardly anyone believes in the Others and the Night's Watch has deteriorated in it's quality of brothers so it makes sense that most people would be highly skeptical of their warnings about them. In regards to Mance, The Lannisters benefit from him attacking the North. He could have destroyed the North with his numbers if he'd gotten through the wall. Then, Tywin could have proclaimed him the new warden of the North and made a peace offering. Even if Mance decided to not accept a peace offering, I highly doubt his poorly armored wildlings could have done much against the might of both Highgarden and Casterly Rock. I think they went over this in one of the small council meetings but I can't remember for sure.

OT: Brucie from GTAIV is probably the biggest douchebag I have ever encountered in a game. I can't really describe how much I loathe him.

See I kind of disagree with that

Spoiler

If Mance was able to control the north, it would mean that he controls Moat Cailan which would mean that no land army would be able to attack from the south and considering Mance's intelligence he would know about this. From the north he could use whatever resources that were left by the Northmen to strength his army. With 40,000 wildling soldiers he could quite easily pose a significant threat to the south and I don't think there is much that Tywin could have done to appease him. Besides if this had happened I could almost imagine Robb siding with him and using the new numbers to pose a larger threat to Tywin and the men of highgarden. On another note I always thought it weird that no one from the north had the idea to let Mace Tyrell march his men through Moat Cailan and then smash him on the different terrain. It sounds illogical but I'm sure someone clever enough would have been able to pull it off.

Everything you've said is true or at least very possible but the people we've both left out are the Iron Men.

Spoiler

They'd probably be able to defeat Mance. I'm not sure of their numbers but they are probably around equal and they are significantly better armed. Not sure if you've read AFFC but it depicts a battle from the point of view of Victarion Greyjoy. He is in full plate armor and his foes' blows do almost nothing while he cuts them apart with ease. Now obviously they aren't all as heavily armored as him but you get the idea. Of course, there is the possibility that they'd see the Wildling's ideals as similar to their own (take what you want by paying the iron price is kind of similar to what the Wildlings are doing) and ally with them. That would be pretty scary for the realm. However, they might just decide that the North is theirs alone and fight the Wildlings. Given their arrogance, this would not surprise me. I don't think the Wildlings would ever ally with the North though because they are the ones who mainly oppress them.

Now, assuming the Wildlings actually take the North for themselves, yes they would be able to prevent any land army from coming through but they would be poorly equipped to deal with an assault from the sea. The Lannisters areallied with the Redwynes who control the most powerful fleet in the realm. They could easily attack the White Harbor and attack the North from there.

As far as why Robb didn't let Mace take Moat Cailan, he wanted to attack the South. Giving the choke point to the enemy would ensure his rebellion's failure. Not to mention, Tywin would not allow Mace to fall for such a trap. They would likely regroup, scout, then decide how to pursue once they had their full strength. They would likely leave a a decent sized garrison at Moat Cailan and then attack the North with their full combined force. Even if the Southerners were forced to retreat, the Northern men would still suffer major losses and they wouldn't be able to retake Moat Cailan. They way I see it, once the Tyrells joined the Lannisters, they pretty much guaranteed that Robb would lose the war.

Then again, these are all hypotheticals that we will never really know the answer to.

Now while I agree with the fact that these are hypothetical I'm enjoying this conversation to much to stop and have a little more to add.

Spoiler

I really think that the iron born would be pretty much useless against Mance. It has been stated numerous times that the strength of the Iron born is in the iron fleet and the further away from land they are the worse they are. It's also been stated numerous times by most of the iron born that they have difficulty holding anything far from the ocean and I believe at one point Asha chastised Theon for taking Winterfell because they just couldn't be supported because they just don't have the resources to do it. As for protecting from the south, the only way it would be threatened is from the eastern coast and I think Mance could quite easily hold it. I'm discounting the west because that would likely fall to the iron born but they wouldn't be able to take anything else, plus the iron born would never team up with the other kingdoms meaning they act as a sufficient buffer state. If theoretically is White Harbour and Eastwatch by the Sea are the only viable ports to land troops from, I think Mance could quite easily hold it. White Harbour is described as having fairly powerful walls protecting it and the city seems to only go up giving them better ground. What is more if Mance has the help of builders considering they don't flee the port, it would mean he could use there help to build scorpions and catapults to repel any invasion. I don't know much about Eastwatch, but I believe the trip there is dangerous enough that if the redwyne fleet tried it they would be sufficiently injured by the time they got there. This is all speculation and it relies on a lot of things working together but I do believe it could work. The Mace thing was silly I must agree, but he is pretty headstrong and stupid, all it would take is for him to see the Northern force fleeing and he'd probably try and run them down, at which point they could be turned around on difficult terrain and routed. Mace himself is described as pretty stupid I wouldn't be surprised if a plan like that could work. Plus it's likely Mace would want to lead the charge because Randyll Tarly took most of the glory when he beat Robert, so a sufficiently intelligent commander could very well defeat him on home soil.

 

[ElectroJosh]

I would say Edwin from Baldur's Gate (particularly BG 2). Not that it was a bad thing. He was an entertaining douchebag so I always picked him up. That fact is; a character can be a douchebag but still interesting if the game uses the douchebaggery of that character in positive way. So Edwin is a douchebag but BG2 is a better game for it. The ones I can't stand are the ones that are douchebags but you get the feeling the game-makers didn't realise that fact and thought they were creating awesome or "cool" characters.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Make's me think of ASOIF where everyone,

Spoiler

bar Stannis, just ignores the Night's Watch in their warnings about the others and mance rayders army.

Don't worry I'm not spoiling anything you wouldn't have read yet:

Spoiler

To be fair, hardly anyone believes in the Others and the Night's Watch has deteriorated in it's quality of brothers so it makes sense that most people would be highly skeptical of their warnings about them. In regards to Mance, The Lannisters benefit from him attacking the North. He could have destroyed the North with his numbers if he'd gotten through the wall. Then, Tywin could have proclaimed him the new warden of the North and made a peace offering. Even if Mance decided to not accept a peace offering, I highly doubt his poorly armored wildlings could have done much against the might of both Highgarden and Casterly Rock. I think they went over this in one of the small council meetings but I can't remember for sure.

OT: Brucie from GTAIV is probably the biggest douchebag I have ever encountered in a game. I can't really describe how much I loathe him.

See I kind of disagree with that

Spoiler

If Mance was able to control the north, it would mean that he controls Moat Cailan which would mean that no land army would be able to attack from the south and considering Mance's intelligence he would know about this. From the north he could use whatever resources that were left by the Northmen to strength his army. With 40,000 wildling soldiers he could quite easily pose a significant threat to the south and I don't think there is much that Tywin could have done to appease him. Besides if this had happened I could almost imagine Robb siding with him and using the new numbers to pose a larger threat to Tywin and the men of highgarden. On another note I always thought it weird that no one from the north had the idea to let Mace Tyrell march his men through Moat Cailan and then smash him on the different terrain. It sounds illogical but I'm sure someone clever enough would have been able to pull it off.

Everything you've said is true or at least very possible but the people we've both left out are the Iron Men.

Spoiler

They'd probably be able to defeat Mance. I'm not sure of their numbers but they are probably around equal and they are significantly better armed. Not sure if you've read AFFC but it depicts a battle from the point of view of Victarion Greyjoy. He is in full plate armor and his foes' blows do almost nothing while he cuts them apart with ease. Now obviously they aren't all as heavily armored as him but you get the idea. Of course, there is the possibility that they'd see the Wildling's ideals as similar to their own (take what you want by paying the iron price is kind of similar to what the Wildlings are doing) and ally with them. That would be pretty scary for the realm. However, they might just decide that the North is theirs alone and fight the Wildlings. Given their arrogance, this would not surprise me. I don't think the Wildlings would ever ally with the North though because they are the ones who mainly oppress them.

Now, assuming the Wildlings actually take the North for themselves, yes they would be able to prevent any land army from coming through but they would be poorly equipped to deal with an assault from the sea. The Lannisters areallied with the Redwynes who control the most powerful fleet in the realm. They could easily attack the White Harbor and attack the North from there.

As far as why Robb didn't let Mace take Moat Cailan, he wanted to attack the South. Giving the choke point to the enemy would ensure his rebellion's failure. Not to mention, Tywin would not allow Mace to fall for such a trap. They would likely regroup, scout, then decide how to pursue once they had their full strength. They would likely leave a a decent sized garrison at Moat Cailan and then attack the North with their full combined force. Even if the Southerners were forced to retreat, the Northern men would still suffer major losses and they wouldn't be able to retake Moat Cailan. They way I see it, once the Tyrells joined the Lannisters, they pretty much guaranteed that Robb would lose the war.

Then again, these are all hypotheticals that we will never really know the answer to.

Now while I agree with the fact that these are hypothetical I'm enjoying this conversation to much to stop and have a little more to add.

Spoiler

I really think that the iron born would be pretty much useless against Mance. It has been stated numerous times that the strength of the Iron born is in the iron fleet and the further away from land they are the worse they are. It's also been stated numerous times by most of the iron born that they have difficulty holding anything far from the ocean and I believe at one point Asha chastised Theon for taking Winterfell because they just couldn't be supported because they just don't have the resources to do it. As for protecting from the south, the only way it would be threatened is from the eastern coast and I think Mance could quite easily hold it. I'm discounting the west because that would likely fall to the iron born but they wouldn't be able to take anything else, plus the iron born would never team up with the other kingdoms meaning they act as a sufficient buffer state. If theoretically is White Harbour and Eastwatch by the Sea are the only viable ports to land troops from, I think Mance could quite easily hold it. White Harbour is described as having fairly powerful walls protecting it and the city seems to only go up giving them better ground. What is more if Mance has the help of builders considering they don't flee the port, it would mean he could use there help to build scorpions and catapults to repel any invasion. I don't know much about Eastwatch, but I believe the trip there is dangerous enough that if the redwyne fleet tried it they would be sufficiently injured by the time they got there. This is all speculation and it relies on a lot of things working together but I do believe it could work. The Mace thing was silly I must agree, but he is pretty headstrong and stupid, all it would take is for him to see the Northern force fleeing and he'd probably try and run them down, at which point they could be turned around on difficult terrain and routed. Mace himself is described as pretty stupid I wouldn't be surprised if a plan like that could work. Plus it's likely Mace would want to lead the charge because Randyll Tarly took most of the glory when he beat Robert, so a sufficiently intelligent commander could very well defeat him on home soil.

I too enjoy discussing ASoIaF. Let us continue!

Spoiler

You raise many good points about the Ironborn. They haven't really shown too much ability in assaulting places by land. They were able to take Moat Cailin from the North although I don't think Robb left a very impressive garrison behind so ya, I'll concede this one to you. Mance would probably be able to defeat them in the places where it mattered.

As far as Mance holding White Harbor, I just don't see it. His Wildlings have no experience holding cities and their Naval force would be pitiful to non-existent. If the Redwyne's were to attack with a large majority of their fleet, it would be like the battle of Blackwater only significantly more in favor of the attackers due to the lack of a surprise wildfire trap.

And then there's the matter of man power. Mance only really has a 100,000 warriors. The Tyrells can command almost that many on their own. Mance would suffer considerable losses taking Moat Cailin (mainly from the harassment of the Crannogs rather than the actual assault on Moat Cailin as it is quite easy to take from the North) and White Harbor. I'd bet that Mance would lose at least a quarter of his force during this especially since it is largely unfamiliar territory. Mance is going to need more than 75,000 men to defend Moat Cailin, White Harbor and Deepwood Motte.

Speaking of Deepwood Motte. Major weak point since Mance doesn't have a Navy. Asha took it with only a thousand men, imagine how easily even a small portion of the Redwyne fleet could take it. Yes it is a long journey from there to Moat Cailin but once they do get there, it's checkmate for Mance. Given how long this would take it would probably be the last plan for the South (I doubt they'd even consider taking going to Eastwatch since as you said, that's generally a perilous journey in the fall) but it remains an option.

Another option to take Moat Cailin would be to do exactly what the Ironborn did. The South could construct a decent sized fleet of longships (as far as I know they don't have many of these, mainly war galleys) and take them up the Salt Spear. This would probably be their second option if they thought a battle at White Harbor would cost them to many lives and ships.

Ultimately, I don't think Mance has a large enough of a force (especially where navy is concerned) to hold all of the key points in the North. One of the reasons that the North has always been so hard to invade is because if it is unified, there is a ton of man power to protect it.