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Sexuality is not black and white. It is a sliding scale.
WHEN WILL PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS?
Sexuality is not black and white. It is a sliding scale.
WHEN WILL PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS?
BINGOguntotingtomcat said:Sexuality doesn't exist. We're attracted to people, not genders.
This guy. I am bisexual, and I have not heard a sounder argument for the existence of bisexuality.Floppertje said:how the hell would I know? I'm straight as a line, I don't know what other people are feeling. but for what it's worth: if someone says they're bisexual and they're not a 15 year old schoolgirl who thinks it's cool to be bi, I believe them. why wouldn't I? After all, I find the idea of having sex with a dude rather repulsive and I'm sure gay guys would find the idea of sex with a woman yucky. So why would someone who genuinely dislikes having sex with women date them if they're already 'out'?
Anyone I've ever been attracted to was a girl. I've never been attracted to someone who is of my gender....guntotingtomcat said:Sexuality doesn't exist. We're attracted to people, not genders.
Yeah, sorry about misphrasing that. I understood what you meant by mentioning it, I should have said that I'm sure you don't actually believe in that stereotype yourself.Char-Nobyl said:Well...yeah. That was the point. I did intend to highlight it, because I was citing it as a real and unfortunate reason for the creation of a damaging stereotype. Because he's a guy, he just as the 'luck' that he doesn't have to deal with that, too.
Again I need to apologise for my total lack of clarity, I agree that there is a clear difference between the 'college lesbian' and 'on the fence guy' issues. The reason why I brought in the 'on the fence' issue was because I broadened what I was commenting on to include the idea of girls not deciding yet. In my experience, whilst it is an issue and a stereotype in its own right the 'college lesbian' idea compounds it, as some people tend to have that in mind when playing the 'you haven't decided yet' card, the implication being that people will 'return' to heterosexuality after shallow experimentation. Basically, that the 'college lesbian' image reflects and has influenced the implicit heteronormative bias usually present behind that argument.Char-Nobyl said:Guys being considered the be 'on the fence' is a different issue than girls being considered, for lack of a better term, 'college lesbians.' They're both damaging in their own way.
Agree with all of this, hence my rephrasing of my previous statement. I don't think I've ever met someone who has discovered their sexual orientation by getting drunk and having a fling, and it would be great if more people realised that most people realised that for most members sexual and gender orientation minorities their experience is much more complex than that. However, this seems so difficult to achieve without people broadcasting their sexuality, which somewhat defeats the point.Char-Nobyl said:Part of the problem is that it isn't so much a stereotype as it is a mislabeling, and then a stereotype by association. Same reason for the stereotype about gays being promiscuous: you see the ones that are, and you don't see the ones that aren't, both for obvious reasons. Most gay guys I know are the sort that you'd only realize are gay through conversation, probably around the point they mention having a boyfriend, and the lack of parts where they mention liking sex with ladies.
Definitely. There are so many classic examples of this in consciousness-raising scenarios when just don't realise the impact of their words or phrasing and how alienating that can be to other people who aren't members of their particular 'in-group'. Basically, I couldn't agree more.Char-Nobyl said:Yep. It seems like a really obvious lesson to be learned, but a lot of people don't really acknowledge that the application of stereotypes is, by nature, damaging. Ironically, it's just sort of assumed to be a bad thing that only happens with other people.
Generally relationships last longer than a couple days. If your preference changes frequently, on the days it doesn't match up with your partner, you don't have to have sexual relations. Part of having a healthy relationship is just being there for one another, being pals and whatnot. I get not wanting to commit for fear of hurting their feelings if you do end up settling into a particular sexuality and it doesn't match up with them, but while this period of flip-flopping lasts, experiencing a relationship shouldn't be something you rule out.moretwocents said:It's been a day-by-day struggle with my sexuality. Some days I feel aroused and interested in women. Other days, I feel the same way about men, sometimes more so than with women. It can be a painful and excruciating process when you don't even know who to ask out because you could wake up tomorrow and be interested in the opposite gender. I don't feel that I'm bisexual because I'm not into men and women at the same time, just different times. I don't know if there's any other way to describe it other than "undecided", which is something not even my parents have accepted as an excuse to be single.
I'm sure, because I've had such an experience, that bisexuality exists. I do not think it's weird. I do not think homosexuals are weird. I think people are weird for thinking homosexuals and bisexuals are weird. The things is, people have this image of "Normality" in their heads, and if anything differs from their image, they either deny its existence or simply hate it and make fun of it.
+1 Internets to you good sir.Batou667 said:
You see this bicycle? It doesn't exist. It's actually a greedy and indecisive unicycle. Or perhaps it's a tricycle in denial.
But it sure as hell isn't a bicycle.
Yep. Society can suck sometimes. Just ask some of my friends in the same situation as the OP.Furioso said:As dumb as it is, that's just how we think these days, if a girl says she is bisexual then its hot, but if a guy says it suddenly he's just gay, no excuses
I kinda find it a turn-on. Your more open minded than most which I like.holy_secret said:What do you think of bisexuality? Is it a bunch of bullshit?