Branston Pickle!

[MintberryCrunch]

Branston pickle propoganda, quick marmite supporter we must rally against this. The evil that is braston pickle must not win this day.

HEATHEN!
BLASPHEMER!
Burn! Burn the heretic!!! All shall hail the divine goodness of Branston Pickle and cheese sandwiches!

 

[cyber95]

I, uh, I kind of uh... I can't do this.

Spoiler: As the nervous man runs away, a picture drops from the file folder he was carrying.

What the hell is that?

Is that cheese? That can't be cheese, it looks like freakin' expired mayonnaise.

I think I know why it's called Cheese Whiz...

This is vaguely cheese flavoured garbage in spreadable format and I love it on toast for some reason. It's a vile product, forged from some manner of black magic using only the most despicable ingredients, and if I knew exactly what was in it, I may actually gag.

Don't do Cheez Whiz, kids.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

As an American, I am jealous of you and your Branston Pickle...The best I can do is slather my lunch-meat in Tonkatsu sauce, stolen from local Asian markets, and weep fore I know my unclean palate will never know the unadulterated nay, divine joys of Branston Pickle.

...

somewhat off-topic but do you write for Cracked? If not you should fix that. You could probably spread this thread into a non-list article.

No I do not.

I'll take it as a good sign that people keep comparing my threads to Cracked articles.

 

[kindan]

Just had to finally register after reading this topic as believe it or not I actually work at the factory that makes Branston pickle. So to put it simply your all welcome

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Just had to finally register after reading this topic as believe it or not I actually work at the factory that makes Branston pickle. So to put it simply your all welcome

Holy shit!

This is a great honour sir!

I bend my knee to you, please sir, share with us your Branstony wisdom.

 

[Gammayun]

Branston pickle propoganda, quick marmite supporter we must rally against this. The evil that is braston pickle must not win this day.

HEATHEN!
BLASPHEMER!
Burn! Burn the heretic!!! All shall hail the divine goodness of Branston Pickle and cheese sandwiches!

You cannot deny are spread any longer we shall for recognition and history shall know this as the sandwich spread war.

Raise your banner and fight

For the marmite repulic!!

 

[DanielBrown]

What is this I don't even...
Got a sudden urge for sandwhiches.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

What is this I don't even...
Got a sudden urge for sandwhiches.

Give in to the urge.

It's what Jesus would have wanted. Branston Pickle sandwiches are his gift to us.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Bah. Bah I say. You may keep your Branston Pickle and your Marmite both, you heathens. I use only the best of all possible sandwich spreads.

Spoiler: Behold the one true God.

The one true god? Pfft, you clearly haven't seen the mightly being that roams above the gods themselves. Behold, as your puny Nutella gets crushed under the might of His spreadable goodness:

Spoiler

 

[cyber95]

Bah. Bah I say. You may keep your Branston Pickle and your Marmite both, you heathens. I use only the best of all possible sandwich spreads.

Spoiler: Behold the one true God.

The one true god? Pfft, you clearly haven't seen the mightly being that roams above the gods themselves. Behold, as your puny Nutella gets crushed under the might of His spreadable goodness:

Spoiler

[i]Once you go Marshmallow Fluff, you can't go back.[/i][/spoiler][/quote]

I'm trying to imagine Nutella and Marshmallow Fluff... on the same slice of toast.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Marmite is terrible. This is a fact.

What? How can you claim to be British? Marmite and egg on toast is AMAZING.
I don't think I can take any of your food opinions seriously anymore, you... You... There is no word strong enough.

 

[MintberryCrunch]

You cannot deny are spread any longer we shall for recognition and history shall know this as the sandwich spread war.

Raise your banner and fight

For the marmite repulic!!

I see you have not heard the truth about your heretic ways. Very well, I feel it is my duty as honour-bound Branston Pickle warrior to spread the truth about this evil paste.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Marmite is terrible. This is a fact.

What? How can you claim to be British? Marmite and egg on toast is AMAZING.
I don't think I can take any of your food opinions seriously anymore, you... You... There is no word strong enough.

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against me.

Those against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

 

[Gammayun]

Marmite is terrible. This is a fact.

What? How can you claim to be British? Marmite and egg on toast is AMAZING.
I don't think I can take any of your food opinions seriously anymore, you... You... There is no word strong enough.

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against.

Thos against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Bring it on then, we shall fight you until are last breath.

 

[Colour Scientist]

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against.

Thos against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Then this means war.
FOR MARMITE!
For all of its salty goodness we march.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Marmite is terrible. This is a fact.

What? How can you claim to be British? Marmite and egg on toast is AMAZING.
I don't think I can take any of your food opinions seriously anymore, you... You... There is no word strong enough.

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against.

Thos against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Bring it on then, we shall fight you until are last breath.

That shouldn't be hard.

Marmite isn't exactly known for it's dietary variety.

This shall be a battle of attrition.

 

[SckizoBoy]

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against me.

Those against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Well, at least you have the Danes (the perennial lovers of bacon...) on your side...(!)

 

[Daystar Clarion]

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against me.

Those against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Well, at least you have the Danes (the perennial lovers of bacon...) on your side... don't know about the Germans, tho...(!)

Unless Marmite finds allies, they will not be able to withstand the combined might of Branston and bacon.

Victory is assured.

 

[Gammayun]

Marmite is terrible. This is a fact.

What? How can you claim to be British? Marmite and egg on toast is AMAZING.
I don't think I can take any of your food opinions seriously anymore, you... You... There is no word strong enough.

What!

How could you say that? My threads are nothing but serious and blatant in their truthfulness.

Marmite is the bastard child of all decent spreads, it's foulness should be wiped from the planet.

This is my crusade. You're either with me, or against.

Thos against me shall be crushed beneath my mighty heel.

Bring it on then, we shall fight you until are last breath.

That shouldn't be hard.

Marmite isn't exactly known for it's dietary variety.

This shall be a battle of attrition.

What are you talking about marmite goes with everything this war will be over very quickly, branston pickle and its lies will be wiped from the face of the planet.