Aerevolt said:
my questions to you all,
Why stay in a relationship when you know someone is cheating?
Sometimes you don't definitively know. You only suspect. And sometimes you can't find actual proof of it. Sometimes it's an abusive and manipulative relationship and they gaslight you into thinking you're crazy, obsessive, and paranoid. I had that with one relationship. The other relationships I've had, I found out they cheated on me and I broke up with them. One I broke up with and then found out after the fact he cheated and got his ex fiance pregnant while we were together.
Why do you have to suspend all reason in order to stay in the relationship?
I don't understand this question
If you break up because your significant other cheated on you is it ok to post every detail on the internet for all to see, including names?
I think this one really depends on the type of person you are. For me, yes, I have named names and detailed relationships, HOWEVER it was first names only(though there were accompanying photos) and it was in regards to three guys who only one of them cheated on me, one was a running partner, and all 3 raped me and it was a way of learning to accept it. And it was on my blogspot blog. And so that I can remember everything that happened. And not let it happen again. However, if the person and I have mutual friends and one of my friends is thinking of dating them (or hell, even an acquaintance) and I don't have their number, I'll privately send them a message warning them that I broke up with them because I was cheated on. But I won't go into a whole lot of details. Just the basics so that someone has all the facts and can make informed decisions.
Feel free to share your own completely ridiculous lies that you believed from a cheater.
(to be fair all of these were in aforementioned manipulative, abusive, gaslighting relationship_
"You're being crazy she's just a close friend"
"She's crazy, I don't know why she says we're dating"
"My parents don't believe us that we broke up so they still think we're dating and occasionally have to put in appearances"
"No, I didn't go out to LA to see her. I don't know what parking ticket you're talking about from last night"
"We're going to be poly. You can't sleep with anyone else though. I can" (btw, NOT poly)
(this one was high school)
"we're just talking about what to get you for your birthday" (between my at the time boyfriend and best friend)
On the topic of cheating, I hold a "it's not happening stance"
however,
having multiple friends in poly relationships I realise some things that
I see as cheating aren't to them as they're actually honest with their partners and that's ok because it works for them but wouldn't for me.