Corupt a wish foundation.

[oppp7]

And you inhale their ashes, making you cough violently.
I wish for gold.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You end up melting it in a fire, turning them into golden genitals and then you break those.

I wish for new hats

 

[oppp7]

Ok, but it's an overdone joke.

Speaking of which, I wish for a Weegee.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but the Weegee ends up breaking your skin and you bleed to death.


I wish for more comfortable elastic in my underwear

 

[oppp7]

It's more comfortable because it cuts off circulation and your legs atrophy, losing all feeling of pain.

I wish for a quick and painless death.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted you die where you stand in your room but you're alone and no one discovers you for several months.


I wish for proper employment.

 

[oppp7]

Proper employment won't take care of that tumor in your head.

I wish for CANCER(did I do that already?).

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but it spreads so quickly you end up looking like a giant bubble and are popped with a safety pin.


I wish for the death no one not even CSI can explain.

 

[oppp7]

Ya, but real forensics experts can.

I wish this sentence would end.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but then Lamb Chop gets a hold of it and starts to repeat it over and over and over and over and OVER and OVER and OVER!!!


I wish people stopped yelling.

 

[oppp7]

You can't hear anything under a yell though, so you're pretty much deaf.

I WISH FOR MORE CAPSLOCK.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted..the button jams and you're unable to fix it, therefore everyone on the internet hates you and deletes you from existence.


I wish i had the power to vanquish all trolls

 

[oppp7]

When you are completed you realize that you became a troll in the process somehow in some philosophical metaphorical sense and must destroy yourself.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

... No wish? Ok then.

I wish for a thing that can cure anything.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You cure every disease but the side effects of the curing has cause you to become massively stupid and insane.

I wish for a neverending supply of Mountain Dew and Red Bull.

 

[oppp7]

Enjoy your weight problems.

I wish for a flying car!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but the air force soon deems you as a threat and guns you down mid-flight.

I wish for more save points.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, they are all at the END of the game.

I wish my brother wasn't so lazy.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted, he does so much work your parent condemn you and throw you out of the house.


I wish my discs would work.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, they will work, but only when you are 1000 miles away from them.

I wish for a minefield.