Could You Date A Transexual?

[Casual Shinji]

a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...

your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?

If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.

only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)

Well, I do fear the future, so I guess living on would be scary.

Nice subtle jab there, by the way.

 

[Signa]

I'm going to say strongly "no!" The reason why are attracted to each other is because of how we are wired to perceive our fellow humans. Just because they strongly identify with females doesn't mean I will identify them as a female. I suppose there could be a chance if the conversion was 100% and I couldn't tell my that girlfriend used to be a dude, but it would only take a brief wandering of the mind to remind myself while cuddling that she's a he, and things would just get weird.

 

[bojackx]

Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual still has XY chromosomes, so is still a male. Maybe not in other senses, but most definitely in the medical sense.

And using science to justify his views on the matter is perfectly valid. If they aren't attracted to males, then they aren't going to want to date one. As I said, medically speaking, they are still male. It's hardly a phobia (or racist since you seem to implied for whatever reason).

what is with XXY? or someone with the 'hairless woman'-syndrome? a person whos body isnt influenced by testosterone and is physically female looking and mentally female but still has XY?
and are you only attracted to that last X chromosome or to all of them? must be difficult to get the equipment to every date to see if you are attracted or not

I don't ever recall saying that transexuals can't be attractive. What I'm saying is, in my eyes, a MTF transexual is not a female, they're just a mutilated male, which without trying to offend anyone, I find pretty gross. They sure can look like a female, but if I know that they're male then I'm not going to date them.

you didnt get my point there. I was mocking our societies focus on the configuration of one chromosome.
And thank you for the bland insult. do you even know a single transsexial personally? If not, then you should shut up about something you dont even know. M2F transsexuals are not male, thats the point
You are just a mutated female btw, your last chromosome is a reduced version of the compleet X.

I wasn't trying to insult anyone, at all. Also your argument is stupid, which I suppose could be seen as an insult.

I don't need to know a transexual person to know stuff about them. They're undoubtedly people who've had significant alteration of their genital region, which to me (and I can't stress the "to me" part any harder), I find gross.

They're also all people, just like the rest of the population. I will treat them just like anyone else, the only difference being that I do not see a MTF transexual as a person I could date.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Ya i do ;P

and yes i am my life fracken rocks atm... I am trilled to be alive! I am SUCH a happy girl these days... MUCH different than the old me.

I'm really glad you are a happy lassy.

Happy to hear you and your missus are doing great too.

Did get a bit worried when I didn't see you around for a while when you were a bit. I didn't think you were going to do anything silly like top yourself (at least, i'd hope you wouldn't) but I knew you were having a bad patch, wanted everything to work out for you.

Shocking, people over the internet care .... I broke the internet law.

Must say mean things to counter balance all the good..... Hmmm, er, I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King,' you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

But ignore the Arthur King and the British parts....

Because i'm that original I steal Monty Python insults .... and couldn't think of anything mean to say to you.

Honestly there was a stretch toward the end of the year my doc almost had me committed (at least over night) my suicidal thoughts were pretty overwhelming. BUT all is good now

LMAo I love monty python!

 

[Mykal Stype]

I kind of dated a trans man once (he's She now, but I'm using he as he was male at the time). We were in love and had been dating for nearly a year, but then he told me that he wanted to be a female with a penis and gave me the option to leave the relationship as he knew that a change like that wouldn't really mesh with my sexuality. So we did break up and remained friends for quite a while, but like a lot of exes that try to be friends, we started drifting apart and I haven't talked to him in a long time.
The problem is that now I think I could have at least tried. At the time it didn't match my sexuality at all, but I somehow went from gay to pansexual over the years, and I could probably do it now. I wish I knew that would have happened before I broke up because, like I said, we loved each other a lot.

 

[wulf3n]

your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?

That's a stupid statement. You accept that some things (I assume) aren't a choice eg. Homosexuality, Transexuality. But can't accept other things may not be a choice.

 

[Jenvas1306]

a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...

your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?

If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.

only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)

Well, I do fear the future, so I guess living on would be scary.

Nice subtle jab there, by the way.

dont take it personally, its just a term that came up recently and is wrong.

sigh...

I didnt choose to be a woman. I actually would have liked to live as a man, that would be so much easier, but I knew I wasnt and could bring up the strength to change my situation, cause I was thinking just like you do: XY is male and stays male, but I have learned that gender is more complicated than that and Im very well aware that, if you arent in that situation; it is a very difficult thing to understand.
If I am just myself, I am female, my sexuality didnt fit my body. why is that so? I asked that a lot and there is no full explanation yet. It simply is something that is deeply part of myself, against anatomy or genetics.
I had to accept that its part of my life and that I can choose to have a life with problems, but as my true self or try to live a lie, and then some random person comes along and tells me 'nope, still male' while I had such a struggle to try to be male...

 

[Flutterknight]

I absolutely could, as long as I'm attracted to them. I'm transgender myself (hopefully fully transexual one day, but low pay and no insurance are preventing that for now...) so I think I would be happy to be able to date someone who is more likely to understand and empathize with me, what's between someone's legs is far less important than what's between their ears. =3

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Do MTF have xy chromosomes or xx chromosomes? You can have as much surgery as you like, it doesn't change who you are. Case in point, if you didn't know who Michael Jackson is, you might assume that he is a weird looking white man, but he is a black man. It doesn't matter how much surgery he has, he will always be biologically African-American.

OP:No, I would be completely put off by knowing that the person I am with used to have a penis.

 

[Xaryn Mar]

Most likely.
It would have to be a MtF though since I am not attracted to the male body and they would of course have to be attractive (to me) and have a personality I could see myself being attracted to. But those two things goes for anyone I would date.

I would like to have children at some time in the future though, preferably some genetic offspring of my own. But adopted might be a possibility.

 

[Riobux]

I would have absolutely zero problems with dating a transsexual.

 

[ramboondiea]

probably not, dont get me wrong, i have nothing against transsexuals, im firmly in the camp of "it takes all people" mentality. but i think i wouldn't be able to, as in the back of my mind i wouldn't believe it would work out long term, and therefore not worth dating.

 

[Flutterknight]

biologically African-American

Regardless of the rest of your argument, please go look up the definition of "African-American" (if I had a picture of Inigo Montoya, I'd link it here) because "African-American" is not the same as having a large amount of melanin (i.e. having a skin tone that would be considered "black").

 

[JMV]

If I think about it right now in these terms, I would say no, I wouldn't date a transsexual person, since I really can't relate to the desire to change your sex physically and am probably too ignorant to accept that such a thing actually happens and makes sense once you feel it yourself. I also imagine that, knowing the person in question was transsexual, I'd always see them as being male (because transsexual or not, I'm not attracted to men at all) and that would definitely put me off. However, I don't really know the future, I could end up falling in love with someone like that and if it were to happen, I'd certainly not let something like that get in the way of our happiness. Keeping this in mind, I really can't definitely say no. This is all hypothetical though, since I'm really only attracted to one person and have been for 5 years now.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I'm sure that if it weren't immediately sprung onto me I could...Like, if they didn't introduce themselves as "Carol, the Transexual" I could probably get over it. It's always better to build a relationship over time, IMO.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I'm sure that if it weren't immediately sprung onto me I could...Like, if they didn't introduce themselves as "Carol, the Transexual" I could probably get over it. It's always better to build a relationship over time, IMO.

LMAo ya not many of us would pull that! I have never lied to anyone i dated..from the first serious GF i had right out or high school (for 7 years) to my wife BEFORE we got married... once I got comfortable I told them about my Gender Dysphoria... granted I wasn't in transition, but they knew it was there... as I have said MANY times, my wife is the one who pushed me in to beginning my transition. She saved my life.

 

[Lurklen]

I don't think I could. I would support them in any other way I could but I couldn't be in a romantic relationship with them. This is the same thing with men, which I have thought about, and I just don't want them. I think that's what it comes down to for me, I've seen men and post-op trans who I can find attractive or objectivly beautiful but I dont want them. And for me I need to feel a kind of immediate desire for the other person (and be wanted in return) in order to really consider them.

Also I just don't think I'm up for the emotional baggage that comes with making such huge decisions about ones self. Even if it's a good change it leaves scars, and I've got too many of my own. Which is a problem in all of my relationships let alone difficult romantic ones.

But that being said If I met a woman, fell in love and at some point she told me she used to be a man, (after the feeling of betrayal that comes from any secret coming to light) If I loved her I don't think my feelings would change.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Could I date a transexual?

I suppose so, in the sense that I could and no one is stopping me.

But, would I?

Nope, not my thing. I've met one trans person (is that even right?) and I thought he (girl to guy if I remember right) was a pretty cool person. The thought of even considering dating him never crossed my mind, so I seriously doubt I would.

 

[Casual Shinji]

a) Like it or not, our brains our hardwired to think in terms of gender. Again, otherwise a transgender wouldn't feel the need to change their sex. Just as their brain is hardwired to see themselves as female (or male) eventhough they're biologically male (or female), my brain is hardwired to see them as the gender they biologically are.

b) However, I don't use this logic to kill or rape, I use it too decypher whether or not I would date someone. Not too big a difference, but still...

your brain is hardwired for your opinion? that must be one special medical conditon. how do you live with never being able to learn or change?

If you mean I won't be able to learn to see transgendered people as 100% their current gender... Then no, I guess I won't.

I'll just have to learn to live with my disfunctional brain.

only if you kill yourself this instant, otherwise you live on with a chance of changing your mind, how scary would that be?

(btw, you cant be transgendered, you are transgender or not)

Well, I do fear the future, so I guess living on would be scary.

Nice subtle jab there, by the way.

dont take it personally, its just a term that came up recently and is wrong.

sigh...

I didnt choose to be a woman. I actually would have liked to live as a man, that would be so much easier, but I knew I wasnt and could bring up the strength to change my situation, cause I was thinking just like you do: XY is male and stays male, but I have learned that gender is more complicated than that and Im very well aware that, if you arent in that situation; it is a very difficult thing to understand.
If I am just myself, I am female, my sexuality didnt fit my body. why is that so? I asked that a lot and there is no full explanation yet. It simply is something that is deeply part of myself, against anatomy or genetics.
I had to accept that its part of my life and that I can choose to have a life with problems, but as my true self or try to live a lie, and then some random person comes along and tells me 'nope, still male' while I had such a struggle to try to be male...

Nothing personal taken.

I guess this gives me a better understanding of why the 'still a guy' statement would tick you off. And I'm sorry. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves we're talking to people and not just blocks of text.

 

[In Search of Username]

I'd say I'd be fine with it as long as they actually looked completely female. I have no problem with it, the only thing that'd put me off would be if the surgery had been done badly and they still looked male or something.

Fun fact: I dated a girl once who would go on to become a guy fairly soon afterwards. So looking at it one way I guess I have dated a transsexual? Ish?