Could You Date A Transexual?

[Little Gray]

There is no way in hell that I would date a transexual. I enjoy sex to much and I want to actually have kids with my partner one day.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I guess this gives me a better understanding of why the 'still a guy' statement would tick you off. And I'm sorry. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves we're talking to people and not just blocks of text.

Ya, it's hard to remember there are people on the other side of these words...people with dreams, fears, and feelings. What was stated was perfect if you ask me.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

There is no way in hell that I would date a transexual. I enjoy sex to much and I want to actually have kids with my partner one day.

I get the second part..but not the first..ah well. We all like what we like

 

[Little Gray]

There is no way in hell that I would date a transexual. I enjoy sex to much and I want to actually have kids with my partner one day.

I get the second part..but not the first..ah well. We all like what we like

There is a very real and noticeable difference between fake and real.

 

[Satocreed]

I wouln't mind it at all. Its not who they were but who they are, and as a person who identifies as demisexual anyways it has less to do with gender for me and more to do with how much I care for them as a person.

 

[mike1921]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Do MTF have xy chromosomes or xx chromosomes? You can have as much surgery as you like, it doesn't change who you are. Case in point, if you didn't know who Michael Jackson is, you might assume that he is a weird looking white man, but he is a black man. It doesn't matter how much surgery he has, he will always be biologically African-American.

OP:No, I would be completely put off by knowing that the person I am with used to have a penis.

Who you are is phenotype, not genotype. Unless you jack off to karyotypes of the women you love and nitpick at them for recessive alleles they have but don't actually effect them your "THEY HAVE XY CHROMOSOMES" is rather irrelevant.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Not at all. My only goal in dating/marrying would be to make babies with that person, and I don't particularly want to adopt.

 

[Cry Wolf]

also, this thread shouldnt exist. there are too many opinions based on stereotypes instead of actual experiance and I'm glad others do the explaining and correcting here.

Thats exactly why it should exist though. An open forum in which people, even it's a a small percentage of them, end up more informed is how society progresses. Sure, there are some really awful opinions (check me raging at the quote below if you really want another example) but I've met and discussed the societal issues facing those who idefntify as trans-, and have found common ground in our experiences from which I can emphasize. That's awesome.

Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

This is not awesome. I was actually feeling pretty good about things while writing the above, and now I stumble across this. You're talking about murder because the person you dated turned out to transgendered. I mentioned in one of my previous posts about the shear amount of trust it must take to break such significant news to somebody. Then I come across that not telling somebody before the first date is worth of murder.

Spoiler: This is perhaps a better expression of my opinion right now.

It doesn't matter how much surgery he has, he will always be biologically African-American.

Hey, because now I'm in the mood for replying to posts that infuriate me with images, heres one for you!

Spoiler: Heh

SNIP

Lets move back to my curiosity, it makes me feel much better. You are, from my understanding gleaned entirely from skimming your posts, male-to-female. Have you undergone surgery, or 'just' hormonal treatment?

Oh, and because I'm liking my image responses, heres another.

Spoiler: This sums me up in this thread pretty well.

 

[Quadocky]

Interesting.
So somehow both "sides" feel that the other is being hostile towards them?
Seems like a real clusterf*ck if you ask me.

Except, oppression of a minority is a much more dire thing.

You didn't bother to read the rest of my post, did you?

Something about freedom etc?

I did read it, I just thought it was not relevant enough to mention.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

God no, having to date someone pretty much guarantees there's not going to be enough there to make a relationship. Wouldn't be worth the hassle.

 

[Generic4me]

Probably not.

IF I liked the person a LOT, they looked nothing like a dude, and were up-front with me about it (I don't like being lied to), there's a tiny chance. But it'd be a huge thing to get past.

Not really interested.

 

[PrinceOfShapeir]

In my brain, I have no problem with it. The difference between an MTF and a genetic female (or the inverse, but I am heterosexual) is societal. There are aspects of appearance that factor in as well - while it may sound shallow, I can't see myself starting a romantic relationship with someone I don't find appealing on a physical level. Friends? Absolutely, but lovers? Very doubtful. If the prospect of sex with that person isn't appealing to me, the relationship is not really going to go anywhere.

Then we get into stickier territory. I think of myself as a pretty open-minded person, particularly for my upbringing - you might call me a recovering homophobe if that doesn't sound incredibly stupid. I was brought up in a right wing, Conservative Christian household, the kind of family that would vote Tea Party and talks about how the Republican Party is going leftist, and while I like to think I've broken out of that mindset, I haven't fully expunged the ground-in sense of revulsion regarding homosexual sex.

Basically? I like to think I could, but I don't have that much faith in myself.

 

[Stasisesque]

I don't ever want children, so there really is no reason why I couldn't date a transsexual. Aside from that, it's not really something I could judge without being presented with a personality, a physical appearance etc. In short, I'd need a bit more to base my attraction on than whether or not the person was born with male genitalia. I suppose if I wanted children it would be a much harder decision, but then so would staying with an infertile partner.

If my boyfriend announced one day that he wanted to live as a woman, I'd still love him and would want to stay with him. That's about as much as I could possibly know.

 

[Glasgow]

No, I won't be with a woman who was a man before her surgery. I am surprised to see many people say they would do it.

 

[launchpadmcqwak]

I would date a Girl.
I would date a guy.

but if i dated a guy who had surgery to become a female, I personally would not be able to get over that in my head.

I am picky enough with (for lack of a more politically correct term) "normal" people :/

 

[Something Amyss]

An open question to those who keep saying they want to have kids: Do you screen ALL your romantic partners for childbearing capacity? My ex has a problem with her uterus. While she's born female and has all the right parts, she can't have kids barring some medical breakthrough. Do you ask people if they're childbearing before you get into a relationship, or is this a trans-only issue?

All transsexuals may not aspire to be beautiful women, but I rather expect they all aspire to be convincing women.

As opposed to this "unconvincing" women we were just talking about?

Come now.

"I don't care who you think you are, I know better,"

To be fair, how could a person and their doctor know better than superstitious laymen who take it as a personal affront?

to wit, all opinions that are not categorically false are, from a human (IE not-omniscient) point of view, equal.

But there, you're already lending false validity to his opinion. There is no "medical" definition of a woman that suits his criteria. Therefore, his statement is false by your own criteria, yet you argue otherwise.

-snip-

Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual still has XY chromosomes, so is still a male.

You mean genetically speaking, not medically. In this very limited scope, the person in question is still XY, but in terms of medicine (even in terms of biology and genetics) this means very little. As with the question of reproduction, I doubt you spend time genetically screening your partners to see what their chromosomes are, yet people who were born female can have XY chromosomes. ZOMG, you could be sleeping with a dude and not even know it!

...What? The all important chromosomes said so! So what if she has a full reproductive tract and was born and raised female. Obviously, she's a MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The difference between male and female is actually quite tenuous. This isn't looking at something logically, it's cleaving to an excuse.

And using science to justify his views on the matter is perfectly valid.

Yes, but slapping "science" on something that's not scientific isn't. And that's why we're here right now.

Look, we've got actual biologists on here who have spoken to this exact concept in prior threads and hopefully have or will speak to it in this thread better than I possibly can. I will instead reiterate that these claims of medical intents are bogus. Please don't defend things unless you know what you're talking about.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Lets move back to my curiosity, it makes me feel much better. You are, from my understanding gleaned entirely from skimming your posts, male-to-female. Have you undergone surgery, or 'just' hormonal treatment?

Just hrt not a single surgery yet..and frankly at my age, I only want GRS. By the time I am able to afford more than that I will frankly be to old to be concerned with my appearance.

 

[Shinsei-J]

That would be hard for me to do, seeing as I find surgical moifications of any kind kinda gross.

Most modern trans-surgery is pretty hard to spot. It's not like they're getting a third arm or anything. I expect if no one told you, you'd be none the wiser.

Unless you just have a straight up surgery phobia, and wouldn't date a woman who'd had her spleen removed or something.

huh, then I most likely would date 'em.
Love is love and I'm attracted to the female body so I'm all go.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

As opposed to this "unconvincing" women we were just talking about?

Come now.

I realize that you are spoiling for a fight, although I cannot say I entirely understand why. It seems likely to me that you are projecting some kind of trans-hating mania onto me and debating aggressively with that opponent in mind. The fact remains that a GREAT many adult males who attempt to transition after their male secondary sexual characteristics such as big hands, broad shoulders, etc are solidified are not able to fully pass as their new gender and face significant social ostracization as a result, leading to a lot of depression and regret. If that's changing because of advanced surgical techniques, fantastic. If your point is "society shouldn't be such dickbags", fantastic. If your point is everyone should feel beautiful inside their own skin no matter what yadda yadda yadda, fantastic. A little twee, perhaps, but fantastic. The problem is I have no idea what your point is, other than that you are continually crawling up my ass for mysterious reasons because I implied adult men have a difficult time with sexual reassignment.

 

[Leg End]

Yes, and dated a MtF transgender, so I don't really have qualms on either pre or post-op.
Don't knock until you try it people.