Could You Date A Transexual?

[Psykoma]

Reading this thread depresses me. I feel like an ass for not having it in me to date a MtF trans but at the same time I'm mad because fuck you I don't have to be attracted to things because you want me to. I don't find black women attractive, am I racist? No I just don't fucking find them attractive. Nor do I find dudes attractive hence me being straight. I just could not overlook the past of a transgender person. Just like trans people didn't choose the gender they were born with, I can't help the way I think.

Dating aside I could give two shits about your sexual orientation or gender issues as a friend. I have many gay friends and have met transgendered people that are just great people. I will call you by whatever gender you please, hell if you believe you're a fucking potato then i'll call you a potato. But don't expect me to fuck you.

No-one's saying you have to date trans women.

Just in doing so don't say (you didn't, not blaming this on you) that a trans woman isn't a woman.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I dated a hermaphrodite for a while and that was... interesting. in the end we just agreed we were better off as friends but then again we had started as really good friends.

as for someone who changed, I courted one or two. when they told me, I relfected and thought about it and siad id certainly try if they wanted to, but that they should look for love eelse where first because ti would be disrepsectful. int he end, they found someone and it was better for both of us.

but would I? sure why not, if i liked them I would.

 

[The Thinker]

Of course I'd date a transsexual! I'd date pretty much anyone, because my MASSIVELY POWERFUL HETEROSEXUALITY can turn ALMOST-LITERALLY ANYONE into a SMOKING-HOT NATURAL 10 WOMAN! OFFER VOID WHERE PROHIBITED!

(Sorry about the caps-lock. My hetero-powers are run off them.)

[small]I sure hope this doesn't offend anyone. I don't mean to imply that heterosexuality is better than other sexualities, just that I'm better than everyone else and happen to be heterosexual.[/small]

 

[DugMachine]

No-one's saying you have to date trans women.

Just in doing so don't say that a trans woman isn't a woman.

But therein lies the problem. I'm attracted to women, I must accept trans MtF as women so I should have no problem dating them. But I do and that's what has me so upset. Either way i'm screwed.

 

[NardBasket]

I'd be fine with it

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

An open question to those who keep saying they want to have kids: Do you screen ALL your romantic partners for childbearing capacity? My ex has a problem with her uterus. While she's born female and has all the right parts, she can't have kids barring some medical breakthrough. Do you ask people if they're childbearing before you get into a relationship, or is this a trans-only issue?

Yes I do. I really want to raise my own child one day. A child that came from my sperm.
However that is a silly reason to not date a trans individual because one could always use their sperm on another, fertile woman or get one's eggs fertilized by a fertile man. The only issues that would arise would be if one or both parties were uncomfortable with the non-trans partner having sex (or otherwise donating genetic material) with (to) someone else.

I myself would not date a transgendered individual if they would not allow me to say have some other woman inseminated using my sperm. If they were cool with that then I would happily marry/go out with/raise a family with a MtF woman.

And the same situation would apply if my partner was born a woman in both body and mind but had a dysfunctional uterus.

I hope thats coherent. I'm tired and took a lot of medicine that has "drowsiness" as a side effect.

 

[Abomination]

No-one's saying you have to date trans women.

Just in doing so don't say that a trans woman isn't a woman.

But therein lies the problem. I'm attracted to women, I must accept trans MtF as women so I should have no problem dating them. But I do and that's what has me so upset. Either way i'm screwed.

Remember, the only people who get to have opinions or stances about sexual and gender identification are trans-sexual and trans-genders because they are a minority and have been oppressed. If your opinion or stance doesn't mesh with theirs: you are a bigot.

 

[WWmelb]

Would like to add, that while i had a basic understanding of TG (although i still get confused by the MANY different terms for different people, and may inadvertently use the incorrect one with no offense intended) some of the material, and personal insights here have been wonderful to read.

I thank the TG/TS community for being so open with sharing their personal experiences in life.

And to reiterate : Bailey Jay is 100% woman, no matter what, regardless of the genitalia she sports lol.

Anyways, although i was never against the idea of dating a TG/TS, i am grateful for the extra knowledge and insight the people here have imparted.

Hopefully the TG community still interested in this thread, and get my message

 

[rutger5000]

Depends on how he/she dealt with it. Being born with the wrong sex must have been a trauma, and I wouldn't date a depressed person. I probably feel a bit weird about it, but if he/she is happy with who he/she is and if he/she is a fun person to be around. Hey let's give it a shot

Ya i was depressed most of my life, but since beginning transition I am a LOT happier... I am on the right track and finally being who i was supposed to be.

That's great, enjoy being happy it rocks !

 

[jurnag12]

Sure I would, I fail to see why not.

It'd have to be a MtF, though. Seeing as I'm still a straight guy. (And anyone who's gonna go off on a 'but they're still Men!' tangent, bugger off, they ain't.)

 

[game-lover]

I think I could. But they best let me know this beforehand.

Because there will be havoc most fierce if I find this out after we've already been involved and stuff.

For the most part, as long as they look male, then I'm good.

Actually, based on some of the arguments people are giving, this would be especially good for me as I really don't want children. Yay for relatively unprotected sex without a fear of pregnancy!

w00t!!

 

[DudeistBelieve]

From what I understand of that subculture, those ladies wouldn't be very interested in a guy like me.

 

[EclipseoftheDarkSun]

It would be very difficult, if not, impossible and awkward if I knew beforehand...I don't really have a fetish for this.

how fortunate that one does not need a fetish to follow through.

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Incorrect, the MTF is male by the definition of male = xy vs female = xx chromosomes. Furthermore, the MTF does not have ovaries, a uterus, and a range of other aspects that are pretty much exclusively female. They may well have a 'female-like' brain in terms of structure and self-identity and perhaps a natural hormonal balance that is more female as well, but their body is more male than female which is why it had to be surgically altered. You can't just slap "science" on your beliefs either. I'm happy to treat them for the most part as a female in name and be a decent open minded friend, but as a male attracted to females who can become pregnant, I'm not happy to do anything sexual with them. Just my personal sexual preferences, which there's nothing wrong with. Other's personal sexual preferences may vary and that's A-okay by me.

As for screening all partners for reproductive capability - that's not exactly practical now is it. There are plenty of benefits from being in a non-reproductive positive relationship anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if a number of men with barren partners sought extramarital sex either.

 

[Scarecrow]

I would, sure. I really don't see the issue. If she looks like a girl, talks like a girl, dresses like a girl...she's a girl, right? I mean, how absolutely pathetic and picky are you if you turn down a beautiful person just because "Oh, you have this chromosome alignment". If you honestly think like that....take a step back and seriously think about your life...please.

Edit: To maybe better explain myself...I do not understand how chromosomes come into it. The only...-only- thing that might phase me about a transgender date is if she still had her male "part". If she didn't...then so what? Maybe some people are wired differently...sorry if that first bit was outta line, but...well...as I've said, I just do not understand that train of thought.

 

[EclipseoftheDarkSun]

Many people make their decisions based on 'Oh, you mean we can never have kids? Next!' Why else do you think the human race persists? Also probably depends on how long you've been together and what your prospects are if you terminate this relationship.. A bit mercenary but there you go..

 

[bananafishtoday]

No-one's saying you have to date trans women.

Just in doing so don't say that a trans woman isn't a woman.

But therein lies the problem. I'm attracted to women, I must accept trans MtF as women so I should have no problem dating them. But I do and that's what has me so upset. Either way i'm screwed.

No one's making this argument though. You may be attracted to women, but that doesn't mean anyone (reasonable, anyway) expects you to be attracted to all women. Maybe you're (as you say) not attracted to black women. Maybe you're not attracted to transsexual women. Maybe you're not attracted to women who are fastidious about doing their taxes. That's fine. Sexuality is unique, and it's personal.

All we're arguing is that one person's sexual preferences do not dictate another person's gender identity. We're opposed to the people in this thread (and in society in general) who say things like "If you're a guy, you're a guy" (ie "If you have a Y chromosome, your sex and gender are both male regardless of any other factors.")

Remember, the only people who get to have opinions or stances about sexual and gender identification are trans-sexual and trans-genders because they are a minority and have been oppressed. If your opinion or stance doesn't mesh with theirs: you are a bigot.

If that's your criteria, then speaking in my official capacity as a non-trangendered, non-transsexual individual, you are a bigot.

 

[EclipseoftheDarkSun]

Women are crazy, so if there were someone who fit my other dating criteria with a man's mind, and a woman's parts, I think I'd be all over that.

So you know, more the point of transgendered is "mind and parts don't match".[footnote]That is, a man in the body of a girl or a woman in the body of a boy[/footnote] Transexual means that "mind and body now match, but both are different from birth sex".[footnote]A person born with a penis had a girls brain and now has a girls body, for example[/footnote] To say that a person "has a man's mind and a woman's parts" would more accurately refer to a transgendered male.

[HEADING=3]Side note about terminology:[/HEADING]

1) transgendered VS transsexual - difference between mind and parts VS surgery to make the mind and parts match

2) trans[X] guy/male VS trans[X] girl/female - in all cases, you are supposed to use the individuals preferred gender. A male mind in a girls body is a transgendered guy, a person born a guy who had surgery to become a girl is a transexual girl.

3) trans[X] vs non-trans[X] - this is more a side note about a side note, but it is a bit mean/insensitive to call people who aren't trans "normal".[footnote]For clarification, that is because it implies that a trans person is not normal[/footnote] The terminology for a male born with a mans parts is "cis male"/"cis guy" and for a girl with girl parts is "cis girl" or "cis female".

3.5) I dunno what "cis" refers to specifically.

I think it's an oblique reference to cis vs trans double bonds in a fatty acid molecule (http://www.diffen.com/difference/Cis_Fat_vs_Trans_Fat) - you know, trans fats are only typically occur unnaturally through technology (through a hydrogenation process using polyunsaturated plant fatty acid/oil. They also actually happen to be bad for you, but I don't think that's part of the definition here) Cis fatty acid bonds are naturally occurring.

Which makes sense - cis is for the male mind in male body or female mind in female body as the 'norm' while trans for the male mind in female to male altered body etc as the 'technologically converted'.

Not to say that gender mismatch isn't naturally occurring.

Oh well.. Trans means across and Cis means on the same side as, (which explains why the fats have their relative designations) so trans males have to transition their body to male to match their outlook/mind/brain-patterns/hormones while cis males have their body on the same side as their brain etc..

 

[Calibanbutcher]

snip

snip

Yeah, decided to not bother with you anymore.
Not sure if you try to get an inflammatory response or what your game is, but have a nice day.

 

[Epic Bear Man]

It's a really, really gray area for me. On one hand, I'd be fine with it. While I've had sex strictly with women, and I love how a vagina feels, I've been sexually aroused by transsexuals before. Even with that though, I still don't know if I could go through with actually having sex with a transgender, let alone a committed relationship. I'm not the type of guy who likes to do one night stands, and I have issues with dating a transgender on the basis that one day I want to have kids of my own blood; lineage and all that crap.

Also, I'm not a fan of anal sex, and I'd have trouble with sucking a cock. When I've seen transsexual porn a couple of times, I've always watched a "shemale" fucking a woman, or sucking a dick. The ones of shemales fucking men just turns me off. I'd have a hard time both giving and receiving, and if I did manage to get over the turn off of sucking a cock myself, I'd still have issues with anal, especially receiving it.

Thirdly is the voice. I've seen some that have decent voices, but most still sound very masculine, and that would be a turn off to me to be having sex and to be hearing a male voice coming from someone who looks like a female from the waist up.

Fourthly is just insecurities. I don't mean to generalize, but I'm pretty sure most transsexuals are gender confused. They feel like the opposite sex trapped in their current gender's body, and thus have to go to the extremes of surgery to get changed. One of my cousin's is a transsexual and we've talked about this before. Some may be fine with it and aren't insecure, but I'm sure most are. I've dated plenty of insecure women, and that's been bad enough. To be insecure about your gender and your identity is a whole new degree.

All in all, I probably would not date a transsexual. I'd befriend them, not sure if I'd experiment with them or not, but I probably wouldn't date one. That being said though, your damn right I'll defend their rights and fight for them no matter what. They need love as much as anyone else, and not accepting them is only going to make their insecurities even worse.

 

[Abomination]

Remember, the only people who get to have opinions or stances about sexual and gender identification are trans-sexual and trans-genders because they are a minority and have been oppressed. If your opinion or stance doesn't mesh with theirs: you are a bigot.

If that's your criteria, then speaking in my official capacity as a non-trangendered, non-transsexual individual, you are a bigot.

Of course I am, because my stance on sexual and gender identification differs from the average trans - not because you happen to agree with them. In fact, your opinion has nothing to do with me being a bigot or not because - as you have confessed - you are not a member of the privileged few who do get to dictate such stances.

To me sex is gender, and a trans is simply attempting to emulate the opposite for a potential variety of personal reasons that I will not begrudge them for. Not to mention all the various sub-categories of trans that people have somehow come up with... adding layers upon layers of complexity to an already deeply emotional topic.

What it boils down to is 100% tolerance being given but since it isn't 100% acceptance one is identified as an enemy - which does the entire trans demographic no favours when trying to battle the unfortunate stereotype of trans being insecure, overly emotional and unbalanced.