WILL THE MMR JAB TURN YOUR DAUGHTERS GAY?
...probably. But as long as they don't get sick.
ARE GAYS GIVING COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY CANCER?
Whoops, guess they aren't getting vaccinated after all.
WILL THE INTERNET RIP OFF YOUR PETS?
Not Fluffy! Is nobody safe?!
HAS THE E.U. HURT THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
...that one's actually pretty realistic.
COULD THE BBC KILL COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
As is that one. This thing could probably replace an editor or two.
WILL GYPSIES TURN THE ROYAL FAMILY GAY?
Dear god, only a final solution can prevent Prince Phillip and Prince Charles tongue kissing on national TV!
The prophecies of this thing should henceforth guide all policy.