Dead Man Impregnates Woman

[CarpathianMuffin]

I'd hope the kid doesn't come out gnawing on the doctor's wrist.

I was genuinely surprised at first, but then I lol'd.

 

[ENKC]

Dear Lord, how hard do you people fail at being trolled? If you take this BLATANTLY OBVIOUS JOKE seriously I worry about your faculties of reason.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Ahhhhhh satirical news site.....

So in later news.

Tolololololololololololol lul.

Nice work man... eet wus sucksays.

What are you serious!?

I was trolled....HARD.

Lol

I know.

It had me going. Then I just kept re-reading the article. All the subtle jokes, like 'mourning glory mortuary.' and calling the woman Marmaduke. Then it said she was essentially suing her rape victim.

This either has to be a joke. Or a supremely bad state of affairs.

But someone in the thread said the website is like 'the onion'

So, I fear we got trolled.

Hard.

Lol yea.
Reading some of the other articles also has me suspicious.
http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=79
Hmmmmmmmm.

 

[w-Jinksy]

i think that this whole story qualifies for horribafuckus classification

 

[deathbydeath]

man, she just couldn't get laid, could she?

 

[Kimarous]

Fake story or not, that is still fucked up as all get-out!

 

[Jark212]

That was pretty hilarious, but kinda twisted. A nice combination...

 

[Reaper195]

Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary.
In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man's estate for child support.

Stereotypes for the win!

 

[manaman]

I almost think this is a joke.

Probably should have checked out the About [http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?page_id=2] section of the site.

This must be about the 30th time I have seen someone try to pass off a story in a satire news site as legitimate.

 

[Flying Dagger]

As far as I understand biology, it doesn't work like that.
Either it didn't happen (she's lying) or he wasn't properly dead.

 

[jakefongloo]

MARMADUUUUUUUUKE!!!! That wacky dog will never stop being silly.

 

[Nukey]

That is one lucky corpse. >.>
/sarcasm

But seriously, the fuck?

 

[Simalacrum]

...Nevermind the morale side of this, how the hell did the sperm even survive long enough to successfully impregnate someone???

Just... just... this whole story...

eewwwwwwwwwww!

edit: upon further analysis of the website I've realised I've been trolled... still...

ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

 

[BrionJames]

I thought I read somewhere that sperm can live up to 24 to 48 hours outside of the body, but still thats some fucked up shit to tell your doctor. There sure is a lot of fucked up people out there.

 

[dorkette1990]

Even her name sounds made up - Felicity Marmaduke?! And who wants to have sex with a dead guy, anyways?
Ah, if only there really was a Felicity Marmaduke pregnant with some dead guy's child... oh what a world we'd live in.

 

[Blatherscythe]

That is strange, amazing and completely fucked up. That woman needs to be jailed, having sex with a dead man... wow that is just sad.

And she wants child suppourt? Really? Wake up! You just had sex with a dead man which is very lowly and disrespectful!

Thing is crazy feminists (the ones who go WAY beyond equality for women) will want her to get it.

 

[Toriver]

It's a satirical news site, not unlike the Onion. You can keep your faith in humanity, for now.

Just sit back and watch. This is a live demonstration of how myths and lies become history and legend. Kinda a microcosm if you think about it.

Ooh, should be fun! *pulls up a chair and opens a bottle of pop*
Now where did I leave the peanuts?

Oh, uh, anyway, it's fake. Look at the other articles on the site and you can really tell. Plus, the story really doesn't make sense. A dead man can't feel, so it would have been impossible for his brain to tell she was on top of him.

 

[icame]

Well....I guess some people like different things...ahh screw it this is fucked

 

[Eumersian]

Researched. Completely untrue, by the way, to anybody who thought it was.

But that is a pretty funny story.

 

[Thundero13]

"In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man's estate for child support." but that was rape, you can't rape someone and then sue them for child support.
Also you'll all think i'm weird but I have nothing against necrophilia if the person has agreed to it before they die.