It's called "The nice-guy syndrome/construct" And frankly, I'm tired of seeing it.
People afflicted with this (I say people because I've seen plenty of women with a situation like this in my time) Tend to have crappy careers in comparison to how skilled they are/how hard they work. They tend to end up being in abusive relationships which they often toxify themselves. And pretty much consciously, or unconsciously sabotage every part of their lives.
I've gotten the impression from these people that they all seem to think like this: "If I can hide my flaws, and become what others want, then I will have my needs met, be loved, etc"
Now... surely I don't have to tell you how big of a crock that is, not to mention how ineffective it really is.
Nice guys/girls are painfully predictable, I've actually got fairly limited social experience myself, but I'm of the rather observant variety. So one thing I've noticed about these people is that they fundamentally have "The disease to please" and as a result of this effective selflessness, some character traits/flaws become evident.
I'm going to call em "NG" for the remainder of this post, take it as nice guy/girl.
*NGs can more often than not come off as needy and insecure.
*NGs often erupt at the most awkward times because of suppressed rage issues bubbling forth.
*NGs are likely to lie, cheat, and hide their motives as they try to get what they want in manipulative ways.
*NGs tend to be generic and predictable, hence, boring, and it's difficult to develop a "spark"
*NGs seem to ignore their own needs, and end up not taking very good care of themselves.
*NGs have a hard time being there for the people who really matter, because they expend so much time and effort into trying to please everyone.
Keep in mind, there are ways to kick this before it really starts to negatively effect your life, and the lives of those around you (Because even if you mean well, that's what you're doing) It's not noble, it's not cool, and frankly, witnessing it makes me wanna vomit.
There are roughly four steps to nipping this in the bud (And luckily for you cats, you're still really young, this is harder to do as you get older... trust me, I've been there)
Now, these might sound like they support your "They really just like jerks/bitches" idea, but that's just shifting blame away from the real cause, yourselves.
First thing, start expressing yourselves more, even if there's the chance it will upset someone (Use reason here people, everything in moderation)
Second, take more time to yourself, take care of YOUR needs, YOURSELF, don't rely on others for it, no one wants to take care of an adult baby... but also don't be afraid to make legitimate requests... moderation people.
Third, Ask for what you want, stand up for yourselves, learn to say "no" to people, don't let them walk all over you. Think of yourselves as a pencil (you all seem to be teenagers anyway, so school is either a current reality, or a recent memory) pencils can bend before they break, they will spring back though, take their shape back (Unless they're those cheap American/Chinese ones... hate those pencils, real wood please) The way you're all going, you're letting people break you, and then you're being used as drumsticks on someone's binder/books w/e... You've gotta spring back. Which comes to...
Ending abusive relationships, this isn't just the whole romantic relationship either (Even though you all seem to be fixated upon that) This kinda goes back to the whole "stand up for yourselves" bit. I've seen this so many times, and it's sad, be it a romantic relationship, just friendship, family-members, business relationships... Snap back into shape people, don't let people take advantage of you, and for that to happen, you need to stop letting them bend you over a table and having at you.
Or... if you're like me, get into BDSM, haha...
<---Sub
Naw, seriously, even then, you still need to think about your own well being.
Anyway, that's my two cents, well, maybe one of my cents, most of this is taken from memory of an article I read months ago, but I think I elaborated on it nicely.
