Doner Kebabs!

[Catfood220]

Snip

God fucking damn you Clarion!!! Now I want a Donner Kebab. And I'm one of these freaks of nature that eat one without being drag yourself along the ground with your eyelids drunk.

I've not had one in ages and now I want one, but I shouldn't because they are the unhealthiest things ever invented, just short of injecting lard into your veins. But I want one, God damn it you are an evil man.

 

[Edguy]

Doner meat is the foul scrapings of mangy roadkill off of Satan's sweaty ball sack. What you want is a good pie/sausage/burger (if attainable) from a good chippy. The hearty meant and the fluffy, absorbent chips are just as good for mopping up alcohol, with the added bonus of not tasting like the fungus removed from the Big Friendly Giant's toenails.

'


I think you are confusing kebab, the greatest thing known to man, with something that is not kebab.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Doner Kebabs are yuck.
There is nothing worse than watching a drunk person trying to eat a kebab. I should know, I have to watch my boyfriend do it every time we go out.

It's all sloppy and fally-aparty.
That and the meat doesn't taste like any other meat, it's miscellaneous meat.
I bet it's people.


[sub]Doner Kebabs is people[/sub]

 

[loc978]

Gotta admit, this was one of my favorite foods when I was stationed in Germany (certainly beat the hell out of our chow halls). Kebab stands kinda reminded me of taco trucks back home... only with tastier fare.

*looks up*
I certainly hope they were made of people. Much better use for 'em than most places have.

 

[Longstreet]

I don't usually get Donor on saturday nights. More of a deepfried stuff kinda guy. Sometimes we will go to the local kebab shop though, although that guy got a few to many warnings and couldn't stay open past midnight anymore.

Anyway. Bout 5 minutes from my university there is a kebab truck. Sometimes that's my breakfast. At 11 AM. On a Monday.

Love it.

 

[Rednog]

Oh god I hate you for reminding me of Kebabs. When I was living in Poland for a couple of years Kebabs were an absolutely delicious treat. Then I moved back to the states and I really can't find them anywhere. I don't understand how Kebabs are like around every corner in Europe but they never caught on in the USA.
If the USA ever adopted the kebab into the mainstream food it would become the unstoppable empire that it was meant to be.

Spoiler

 

[Subscriptism]

Causes vomit when sober. Stops vomit when drunk.

SCIENCE!

 

[Moosemade]

While I've been a member here for years, I rarely post. Seeing the title, I clicked. As it loaded, a horror came over me. "Doner Kababs? What have I done! This is clearly a reference to middle-eastern cannibalism!" But as my page loaded, and I read on, I was overjoyed. Dude, you should seriously consider writing for Cracked. That was fried gold.

And on a local note, we here in NYC do have Mamoun's, which serves the best shwarma I've ever had, and that includes my time in Israel. Unfortunately, even at 2am the line's around the block. Thankfully,there's a pizza joint next to it (or maybe a few stores over? It was that kind of night), that serves artichoke pizza. It's delicious.

 

[Forobryt]

This may brand me a heretic amongst my own people but i'm more partial to the chicken vertical meat, where they layer one million chicken breasts upon the spit and using alchemical science unknownst to mortal man give it a vaguely tikka-ish (shut up its a word now) flavour. With added yoghurt and mint sauce of wonder.

Though the Doner is also a worthy meat.

 

[zumbledum]

Doner Kebabs are yuck.
There is nothing worse than watching a drunk person trying to eat a kebab. I should know, I have to watch my boyfriend do it every time we go out.

It's all sloppy and fally-aparty.
That and the meat doesn't taste like any other meat, it's miscellaneous meat.
I bet it's people.


[sub]Doner Kebabs is people[/sub]

Its a sheep product, a very heavily spiced and processed sheep. we used to sell it at my pizza shop , the fat that thing puts out you wouldnt believe! People taste is quite similar to pork btw.

 

[Colour Scientist]

People taste is quite similar to pork btw.

Do I want to know how you know that?

 

[Edguy]

That and the meat doesn't taste like any other meat, it's miscellaneous meat.
I bet it's people.


[sub]Doner Kebabs is people[/sub]

Though the Donor is also a worthy meat.

I'm seeing connections..

 

[Forobryt]

That and the meat doesn't taste like any other meat, it's miscellaneous meat.
I bet it's people.


[sub]Doner Kebabs is people[/sub]

Though the Donor is also a worthy meat.

I'm seeing connections..

Curses I have let them in on the true secret.

I must rectify my error so the masses will not realise.

 

[Colour Scientist]

While I've been a member here for years, I rarely post. Seeing the title, I clicked. As it loaded, a horror came over me. "Doner Kababs? What have I done! This is clearly a reference to middle-eastern cannibalism!" But as my page loaded, and I read on, I was overjoyed. Dude, you should seriously consider writing for Cracked. That was fried gold.

And on a local note, we here in NYC do have Mamoun's, which serves the best shwarma I've ever had, and that includes my time in Israel. Unfortunately, even at 2am the line's around the block. Thankfully,there's a pizza joint next to it (or maybe a few stores over? It was that kind of night), that serves artichoke pizza. It's delicious.

Your avatar is pretty relevant too!

 

[The Grim Ace]

It seems out of no where someone has put their cracked in my escapist.

Regardless, second best story I've read about vertical meat. And the only one I can show my parents! Well done sir.

I wasn't expecting that either but I'm loving it.

OT: We've taken to calling it shwarma where I live but I've never had it after a night of tequila, DnD, and shame. I will now go and accost the nearest shwarma stand while well hung over, thanks Daystar Clarion!

 

[Ledan]

In Sweden we have Greek restaurants that serve doner kebab pizza. The most amazing of foods.
Finally know what this is called in english though, in Sweden it's just called Kebab.

 

[weirdsoup]

Coming from Bradford in the north of England, we've our own take on this dish.

Donner Buttie. Rather than the usual pita, the kebab meat is put into a teacake and drizzled with what is called "chilli sauce" an orangey-red substance that has the same chemical make up as the Alien acid blood.

 

[scarecrow350]

This article is a sham
everyone knows the correct pronunciation is "T' Donner" or "fookin donner m8" depending on whether you're a southern fairy or a northern monkey