Don't Film These Games!

Nomanslander

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Feb 21, 2009
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Cyrax987 said:
I like how any psychotic murderers and gore is called Saw related when Se7en came out in the 90s.
Pretty much this, you know when I saw that MK short I remembered how I felt about the game the first time I saw a fatality done in the arcades back in the early 90s.

MK is and has always been about the gorno, and honestly it's one of the reason's why I've never liked the franchise...=/

Anyways, I agree with Uncharted, I own the game, the game is awesome but the story is way to "Indy" generic. At its best it could be a half way decent Indy knock off which is more than I can say about he films Sahara or that one Jessica Alba and the lead from Fast and Furious was in...>>

God of War can work as long as they don't pussy foot around with Kratos' character by trying to make him out to be a wronged anti-hero....I mean the guy is a homicidal maniac, a "bad guy," don't change that because it might lose the audience.

Finally as for Halo, considering how many fans there are of the game I'm pretty sure the movie will be the testosterone fueled version of Twilight, utter garbage if not perfect for its demographic...=/
 

oktalist

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Feb 16, 2009
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This is why we're currently inundated with remakes and adaptations - making your greenlight recommendation based on "the original material already made X amount of money!" comes with less personal blame potential than "I think this should get made." Even if the original material is a line of toys, or a boardgame.
This summer... in a world gone wrong... one man... must beat the opposition... in a tournament he's been training for his whole life. Little does he know... he's playing for his freedom. And he's only got vowels. Rob Schneider is... The Scrabble Player. Rated PG-13.

Monkey Island
Made a great stage play though. [small]Great for a highschool production, that is.[/small]

Really looking forward to Part II of this article series.
 

TJF588

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Jan 29, 2009
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I'unno, I've thought of FFI in movie form (not fully, and the lack of character to the characters would prolly be a problem to Hollywood), and I could see (or rather, would like to see) FFII fleshed out more, though that deal may be seen as a fantasy-set Star Wars or somethin'.

As for Halo, at least it's future-y [military] hardware, stuff that I wouldn't have to remember a series of letters and numerals to bother distinguishing, and I liek "sticky 'nad's", the Needler, etc. other sci-fi weapons.
 

The Big Eye

Truth-seeking Tail-chaser
Aug 19, 2009
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MovieBob, I love you, but shut up about Halo already. You don't like it. That's okay. Move on.

Personally, I think a Halo movie, if the stars aligned, could actually be pretty good. It's basically a matter of how much influence Bungie gets on the movie and how little Michael Bay/anybody resembling Michael Bay - such as most of the game's fans - does. Bungie actually created a fairly nuanced and interesting world for its setting. Halo multiplayer funs turned it into a teabagging festival. Sadly, that's the part people remember the most.
 

Danpascooch

Zombie Specialist
Apr 16, 2009
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Halo could be amazing, but it would be a very hard movie to pull off, considering it has a 99% chance of sucking, and maybe a 1% of chance of being done right and being amazing, I would pass on it.

Did you really just say "zombies are done?" ZOMBIES ARE DONE!? ZOMBIE MOVIES ARE AWESOME!!!

Not that L4D should be made into a movie, just saying, there should always be new zombie movies.

World War Z, now THAT would make a good zombie movie, it has a great narrative.
 

smartyknickers

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Jan 2, 2010
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"Zombies are over, unless your name is George Romero."
Or Max Brooks. You know there is going to be a World War Z movie, right?
 

maninahat

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Nov 8, 2007
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Bob is 100% correct on this one: many popular games cannot be translated into movies because they use derivative settings and plots from already famous movies. Turning one of these games into a movie simply results in a watered down, generic imitation of the original sources for the movies. Want a good Tomb Raider or Uncharted movie? Just watch Indiana Jones. A COD movie? Watch Saving Private Ryan and Enemy at the Gate.

And zombies are out? Not if you make Stubbs the Zombie into a movie. Now that would work.
 

Decabo

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Dec 16, 2009
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Let me address something right here: Nathan Drake isn't much of a douche. He has a few sarcastic quips. That's pretty much it. He doesn't jump around and scream to get laughs like Dane Cook. He even cries at the end of Uncharted 2, but I guess since you haven't played the game, you wouldn't know that. But hey, what should I expect from a guy who thinks putting Robin in the next Batman movie is a good idea.
 

RestamSalucard

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Feb 26, 2010
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About the Monkey Island being too much like POTC, think about it for a minute. Guybrush Threepwood (played by Orlando Bloom) seeks to win the heart of the Governess Elaine Marley (played by Keira Knightley) and gets his chance to rescue her from the vicious zombie pirate captain LeChuck (played by Geoffrey Rush) who makes his hideout in a hidden island cove known as Monkey Island. He's aided by an original character played by Johnny Depp who helps Guybrush become a Pirate himself and stop LeChuck once and for all.

That's right: Pirates of the Carribean isn't just like Monkey Island; IT IS MONKEY ISLAND!
 

Ferrious

Made From Corpses
Jan 6, 2010
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Going to have to weigh in here in support of Halo. Yes, the basic plot is "Oh look, something not human, blast it!" but I'd love to see an origins story. Reading the books changes a lot of opinions on the characters, and tends to drop the "War is Hell/Big Damn Heroes" effect for "bad people in a bad place" story.

The Spartans were created to suppress an implied justified uprising outside of Earth's reach, the project literally kidnaps children and replaces them with copies that then die shortly after, the project's leader doesn't even think it's right. You even get the AIs (who are coded to be loyal - they have no choice in the matter) questioning the morality of the whole deal, as more and more children die in the making of the Spartans. Then, suddenly, the Covenant show up. They utterly destroy every human force they come up against, and the soldiers trained/engineered to be the best start coming to terms with the idea that they might not be good enough and it all might have been for nothing.

John-117 himself (Master Chief) is a much deeper character in the books - he can't stand being in space (he's afraid of being helpless), he's stupidly competitive (he hates to lose), he loses so many friends that you could easily diagnose him with separation anxiety (especially in regards to Cortana), and he hates the mythical image that the Spartan's have had built up around them (he comments that as Spartans officially can't die - they always are reported as M.I.A. - his friends can never truly rest).

Play the world dark, including its human parts, and play John right and you've got a deep sci-fi / military film that hinges on themes of morality and the lengths a power will go to in order to win a war. You'd alienate the majority of the fan base, but if you capture the feeling of the first book, it'd be worth it. Having seen District 9, Blomkamp would've been perfect for this - his ability to make us care about characters while being uncompromising about the danger they are in would've worked wonders.

Alas, if it does get made now, it will be about humanity triumphing over dirty alien scum. Probably with an Iraq war analogy thrown in somewhere. It won't even be ironically enjoyable like Starship Troopers (which I'm still convinced is one of the most unintentionally brilliant films ever).

Either that, or it'll be about tea-bagging.
 

Meemaimoh

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Aug 20, 2009
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Not a fan of the Nathan Drake bashing, Bob. How can you dislike him and like Lara Croft? It's absurd. Drake is the exact equivalent of Croft, only without boobs. You know who enjoys that? The silent half of Uncharted fans - the girls. Nathan Drake's personality may rub you the wrong way, but it has a quality that fulfils a very popular "type" for females to enjoy (just like Alistair from Dragon Age, who has [a href="http://community.livejournal.com/swooping_is_bad"]lots of female fans[/a], all as creepily obsessed as any guy could be over Lara). Also, he's smoking hot. So be even-handed with your hate, if you must have it at all.

I thought the MK thing looked perfect, honestly. Where did Saw come into it, exactly? Yes, it was dark and violent. Have you ever played the game? The whole point of the game was gratuitous violence; it certainly wasn't a very good game. Yeah, they changed a few things around, but how can you criticise that when you said that a Halo movie would have to be changed? I mean, come on. At least it's easily recognisable as Mortal Kombat.
 

salinv

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Mar 17, 2010
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Batsamaritan said:
some omissions from your list... major one would be half-life... tempting to hollywood i'm sure but i hope to god it never happens...
I do agree somewhat (it would suck to see that series bashed by having a horrible movie adaptation, but I think a smaller, cheaper end version, possibly a short, of the series that has nothing to do with Gordon Freeman could have potential. I personally enjoyed the Purchase Brothers adaptation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1UPMEmCqZo
 

Schnippshly

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Mar 6, 2009
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You would never need an Uncharted movie! It's already movie. Not a BAD one, but rather a GENERIC one.
 

Simonism451

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Oct 27, 2008
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Sylocat said:
Who wants to take odds on what games he's going to list as "DO film" next week?

1. Metroid
2. Zelda
3. BioShock
4. Ninja Gaiden
Wasn't the choice/actually-no-choice thing one of the most brillant ideas of Bioshock?
That scene in the middle would lack most of its cleverness if it was seen in a linear narrative.
Besides that the other very cool part of Bioshock, Rapture and its Downfall, is rather unsuitable for a two hours action-flick.
 

VGFreak1225

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Dec 21, 2008
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Left 4 Dead works as a game that is an homage to movies. It probably wouldn't work AS a movie.