Don't Laugh Please, This Is Kinda Serious

[Wondermint13]

I would take far greater risks than simply getting caught by a family member or close friend when I feel like shooting my load... But I guess that depends on some belief or another...

Anyway. After reading everyone elses comments, I'm going with the -Finish Like A Beast!- option.

And thankyou for having the guts to start this thread on the Escapists. That gets you my repsect bro!

 

[Nightfire3230]

I'm going to try not laugh at you
*looks at thread*
LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOL

But in all seriousness, it's not a big deal. It's natural to touch yourself and do other things.

 

[jackpipsam]

it's a part of growing up, if ya ma and pa QQ then tell them there gay.

 

[GeneralDefiance]

Face it with an air or nonchalance, theres nothing that disarms a relatively uninmportant accusation with a well placed 'Yeah.....so?' and shoulder shrug.

then crack one out in victory!!

 

[Jezzascmezza]

Make sure you're alone next time you do it?
And lock the door if you can.

And I wouldn't be too embarrassed about it; I think you're brother would rather not tell anyone.
If he's a normal kind of kid, he certainly isn't going to tell your parents.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

Deal with however they react and be more careful not to get caught next time.
This isn?t a big deal and whatever happens will be temporary and no big deal in itself.

 

[Kaymish]

i had a brother i know how they think as long as you have mutual respect and you get him back by not telling tales on him he will have your back and not tell tales on you

or you can say your brother is full of shit

oh and be more careful i never got caught and i didn't have a lock on my door but lucky thing i looked older than i was so magazines (yes you know the ones this was before the internet went at a decent speed after all) were not too difficult to come by

 

[Venereus]

Ignore them zealots.

 

[slightly evil]

Your brother wont tell anyone.
Chill, everything is cool and froody

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

Tell your parents that god spoketh to you and said, "A fap a day keeps the devil at bay."

I laughed

If your parents are christians, listen to some black metal. Problem solved

 

[New Troll]

That's always been one thing I never understood. Nowhere in the Good Book does it say you can't release sexual tension in such a way. So why does everyone always assume being Christian means anti-masterbation? Sure, there's some zealots who claim mostly weird idealologies like male ejaculation is mass murder, but they are by all means the vast minority! The only real argument one could make would be maybe wastefulness. One of those little guys might have been the next savior, but now we will never know.

Course the argument to that I guess would be the upcoming Anti-christ could very well end up down a shower drain.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

If they catch you....look them in the eyes and finish like a boss

 

[mrF00bar]

Or! Option #3. Otherwise known as the magnificent bastard option. Start fapping in your room, wait till they come in for something, stare them right in the eye and finish like a boss all over a bible. Bonus points for ripping a few pages out of it to clean yourself off with. (Only take this option if they really annoy you using their religious beliefs.

Like a boss.

 

[holy_secret]

I truly can't grasp this. How is this a big deal? How?
Is it we Swedes who have hippie views when it comes to sex and nudity, or is the rest of the world completely nuts?

Seriously. Everybody jerks off.
But since this is probably not taking place in Sweden, I guess I can't tell you to brush it off.
Just talk to him and tell remind him that it's as embarrassing for him as it is for you. I'm sure he won't want to tell people that he saw his own brother hold his penis in his hand whilst watching porn. It's just not a nice thing to witness.

He might be more traumatized than you. But who knows? I'm too lazy to read through all the answers, so maybe someone's mentioned this already (I'm too lazy to be ninja'd)

 

[MGlBlaze]

Masturbation - male or female, regardless of what some people might say - is perfectly normal human behaviour and is healthy as long as it is not done to the extent where it becomes excessive and starts interfering with other things. This is subjective, but a person can do it multiple times a day and still be considered normal.

 

[iLikeHippos]

Shit happens. Learn from your mistake and LOCK YOUR DOOR!
Really now, the door and lock exists for a reason; for keeping people out of your business.

That said, while you're at their 'bad side' you might as well grow a mohawk, paint it green, wear black leather clothes and begin listening to death metal.
Now you've got an excuse for it... Rather weak excuse but still an excuse.

 

[feycreature]

OK, surprised no one has explained this and I'll do my best with my limited knowledge: in the bible a man "spills his seed on the ground" and if I recall correctly God kills him with lightning. The practice of shooting it anywhere but a woman got called Onanism after the unfortunate guy and it's one of those Old-Testament rules that most people don't remember or care about. But it is in the bible, along with the injunctions against fooling around with other men and eating shrimp.

 

[darthzew]

You know, there was a time when you could log onto the Escapist and expect an intelligent discussion about philosophy or literature. Times have changed, I guess.

OT: I wouldn't worry about it. Unless your brother is a huge douche, he won't say anything.