Don't Laugh Please, This Is Kinda Serious
- Thread starter MazeMinion
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*laughs uncontrollably loud for several minutes*MazeMinion said:
If you got caught then you're obviously not being discreet enough, man.
Tell them you are an atheist. Besides, it is unhealthy to bottle up your sexual desires inside you. If I were you I'd say to my parents: "I might not go to heaven, but at least I won't get prostate cancer!"
Seriously, if a parent has something against their child pleasing himself, then they are not raising their children correctly (they're not bad, but not good either). Health in body and mind precedes religious beliefs in my book.
Seriously, if a parent has something against their child pleasing himself, then they are not raising their children correctly (they're not bad, but not good either). Health in body and mind precedes religious beliefs in my book.
Tell them "Look, it's really my choice and nobody else's, okay? That's what Christianity is about; you choose whether to sin or not for yourself. Yeah, it might seem filthy, but so does sex between a married couple that loves each other."
confuse them with basic science then make your escape
seriously though the worst thing that can happen is that they forgive you
it's God that's supposed to dish out all the ludicrously harsh punishments
and even then that's in the afterlife
which may not exist anyway
plus just point out you're not christian so you can do that sort of thing if you want
them forbidding wanking would be like a vegitarian who has to be catered for especially when they come round your house, but when you go to there's they still refuse to cater for YOU especially and cook you meat.
damn fuckheads having it both ways *mumble mumble*
but anyway that's me taking out my own specific anger with vegitarians
point is, i'm sure they'll be understanding that you simply don't share their views that wanking is wrong
seriously though the worst thing that can happen is that they forgive you
it's God that's supposed to dish out all the ludicrously harsh punishments
and even then that's in the afterlife
which may not exist anyway
plus just point out you're not christian so you can do that sort of thing if you want
them forbidding wanking would be like a vegitarian who has to be catered for especially when they come round your house, but when you go to there's they still refuse to cater for YOU especially and cook you meat.
damn fuckheads having it both ways *mumble mumble*
but anyway that's me taking out my own specific anger with vegitarians
point is, i'm sure they'll be understanding that you simply don't share their views that wanking is wrong
As a bit of trivia, Genesis 38:8-10 is literally God straight-up killing a dude for masturbating. And the guy does it because the alternative is sleeping with the widow of his brother (who was also killed by God...).John Marcone said:
Is it any wonder why modern Christians generally stick to the New Testament?
Haha, I have been in the same situation. But I was fapping in my brothers room (for some stupid, stupid reason ^^). He caought me and yelled: "Oh! GROSS!"
My parents heard it and shouted back: "What is it?"
And me and my brother screamed back: "NOTHING!"
Then he gave a look that said: GTFO.
So, yeah... I don't think he will tell your parents. He has probably done the same thing and knows it is better to keep to him self. Thats what I think anyway. So I wouldn't worry to much about it.
My parents heard it and shouted back: "What is it?"
And me and my brother screamed back: "NOTHING!"
Then he gave a look that said: GTFO.
So, yeah... I don't think he will tell your parents. He has probably done the same thing and knows it is better to keep to him self. Thats what I think anyway. So I wouldn't worry to much about it.
Well, if it comes down to your bro spilling the beans, you can always DENY DENY DENY.
But yeah, trying to find something you can use to blackmail him in return is always good too.
But still, if he does, i doubt you'd get into too much trouble, even if they are hardcore christians. My godmother is very very christian, and doesn't realize that she's pushed her son into being a total sexual deviant.
But yeah, trying to find something you can use to blackmail him in return is always good too.
But still, if he does, i doubt you'd get into too much trouble, even if they are hardcore christians. My godmother is very very christian, and doesn't realize that she's pushed her son into being a total sexual deviant.
I said to an ex-girlfriend that "I want you back... I mean I actually never want to see you again. And you look fat" *snap photo*.sam42ification said:
Actually I just googled "tear", once I roughly composed my idea for the post in my head, after seeing root_of_all_evil's response. I was honestly shocked of all the pictures of tears, since the original context I was thinking was tearing (a piece of paper to shreds). Then it hit me.
ummm theres nothing in the Bible that says fapping is wrong...
I can guarantee that your parents have fapped at least once in their lifetime. Its no big deal.
I can guarantee that your parents have fapped at least once in their lifetime. Its no big deal.
As much as you might not want to think about this you can be pretty sure your dad does it (or did it). And you can guarantee your brother does (or he would not have acted so coolly).
I wasn't aware Christians had a problem with masturbation. If you absolutely had to you could tell them you did it to suppress other urges (like wanting to have sex out of marriage). But there are pretty close to a million bad things going on in the world so I would just put it in perspective and say so what, it didn't feel wrong, so I did it.
But I guess that may all depend on what you were doing it to...
I wasn't aware Christians had a problem with masturbation. If you absolutely had to you could tell them you did it to suppress other urges (like wanting to have sex out of marriage). But there are pretty close to a million bad things going on in the world so I would just put it in perspective and say so what, it didn't feel wrong, so I did it.
But I guess that may all depend on what you were doing it to...