Duke Nukem Forever Review

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
28,357
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Woodsey said:
"Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time."

I'm not one to beef about scores too much, but what would a game have to do get a 1-star rating, I mean Jesus Christ xD
1-star games steal your fishing rod and refuse to give it back until you play them to the end. Again, and again, and again, until it is satisfied.

Now excuse me, I've got a script for a horror film.
 

Neferius

New member
Sep 1, 2010
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Wow... this game actually sounds like it might be worse than Fable 3!
And it took then what, twelve years and millions of dollars in development to surpass Peter Molineux's level of douchebagery o_O?
Good Show! b^_^d
 

Treblaine

New member
Jul 25, 2008
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Ego Mechanic Fixed

(1) Ego recovered by Shooting enemies, or at least shooting at/near them. World at War had a mechanic like this in its alternate co-op mode and it worked well, it was challenging because you took so few hits to die but would work with a higher character HP.

(2) Ego "health" lost by being damaged recovers steadily over time REGARDLESS of getting shot, there is no reason to cower or run away.

(3) Dealing out a lot of damage without getting hit "overcharges" your ego meter. Land enough hits and you go into "berserk mode" where you are temporarily invincible. However just get hit once and your over-charge is completely lost and your Ego-meter gets chipped away some more.

(4) certain items can recharge Ego meter in an emergency such as when very low, too low to go out and shoot. Rare items, best saved only for boss fights.

This works.
 

Treblaine

New member
Jul 25, 2008
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Mr0llivand3r said:
even if the game was a perfectly roasted suckling pig served on a buffet tray carved from the wood of the divine cross at a banquet hall in the lost continent of Atlantis, every video game reviewer would saw it's balls off.

it's safe to say that this game has had one of the most incredible amounts of hype of any game due to it's overly long hiatus and development time. when a game like this comes out, critics and reviewers immediately search for and set their focus on what is bad, ignoring everything that may be good about it.

therefore reviews like this can't be trusted because every critic would love nothing more than to rip it to shreds.
Team Fortress 2

it was in development as long as Duke Nukem Forever, it was hyped enough, it had a huge following though many seem to forget.

When it came out it only got good reviews BECAUSE IT WAS GOOD!

DNF gets what it deserves.
 

Treblaine

New member
Jul 25, 2008
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squeekenator said:
Why is everyone saying that Yahtzee is going to make a scathing review of this game? He already has.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

Final comment:

"Lets forget about thing fucking game Forever"

The weird thing is he made that review NINE MONTHS AGO OVER TWO YEARS AGO when the game was "officially" cancelled yet it seems to apply (with satire) just as well all this time later.

I expected the game to be at least competent it doesn't seem to even be that.
 

gigastar

Insert one-liner here.
Sep 13, 2010
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Petwins said:
I think this will go on my long list of games I objectively acknowledge as terrible, but enjoy playing none the less
This pretty much sims up everything i thought about DNF.

Im still not sure wheter i should squick or squee at the hearing of another sequel though.
 

Yureina

Who are you?
May 6, 2010
7,098
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Koios said:
I probably didn't do a good job at conveying my thoughts on this one, but my intent was something along the lines of "reviewer scores are terrible things to justify judgements with." Probably. I seem to have forgotten since I posted that. 3:30 AM and all.
I fundamentally agree with you, though the games I like tend to get really good reviews as well. :3
 

Yureina

Who are you?
May 6, 2010
7,098
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Treblaine said:
squeekenator said:
Why is everyone saying that Yahtzee is going to make a scathing review of this game? He already has.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1968-Viewers-Choice-Duke-Nukem-Forever

Final comment:

"Lets forget about thing fucking game Forever"

The weird thing is he made that review NINE MONTHS AGO when the game was "officially" cancelled yet it seems to apply (with satire) just as well all this time later.

I expected the game to be at least competent it doesn't seem to even be that.
Yahtzee made that DNF review two years ago, actually. :eek:
 

24x7spaz

New member
Mar 15, 2011
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Atleast half, if not more, of the things on this list were in the original Duke. Juvenile things like this is what made Duke 3D amusing, well that and it being a solid FPS.

Honestly if you went into Duke Nukem Forever not expecting this reviewer.....you might need to actually play Duke Nukem 3D, because you'd probably hate that game just as much.
 

Slycne

Tank Ninja
Feb 19, 2006
3,422
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Notere said:
Slycne said:
Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5
Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.
The entire review is more elaborate than some two sentence blurb. Fine work on that. Consider a career in journalism.
Heh. It is however a summary though. You know that thing that's a short synopsis of a whole piece or a concise encapsulation of the thoughts and ideas presented. In your words, you did fine work on that, and you should consider a career involving reading comprehension. Seriously though and joking aside, when the major concern is that it might not be as brilliant as its predecessor you consider that hating?
 

Demodeus

New member
Sep 20, 2010
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whats so bad about this game anyway? I played through it and my single complaint was that its too short..
 

Iron Lightning

Lightweight Extreme
Oct 19, 2009
1,237
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Abandon4093 said:
I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.
Taynas said:
Abandon4093 said:
This was exactly what I was thinking! It could have encouraged you to fight on more awesome as you got wounded instead of hide. Shame they didn't do something like that because it sounds like it would be fun and in character.
bombadilillo said:
Abandon4093 said:
Theres an idea. You could still have had "healthpacks" as well, like autograph books or dvds of Duke around to collect. Salvagable system. Grunting and flying backwards when hit by a shrunken enemy like its a freightrain is just broken.
You know guys, there's a Duke game out there that does just that. It's called Duke Nukem Manhattan Project. You lose ego for humiliating things like getting shot and you gain ego for awesome things like killing opponents (the stronger the enemy the more ego you get for killing him.) and rescuing babes. The whole games a throwback to the really old Duke Nukem 2-D side-scrollers but works beautifully. It's pretty much the only good Duke Nukem spin-off game ever made.

Regarding Duke Nukem Forever what I'm most disappointed by is the lack of the non-linear level design of Duke Nukem 3D. I thought that at least they would bring that.

As Captcha says: "how odatse"

edit: Oh yeah and the ego in Duke Nukem Manhattan Project doesn't regenerate over time.
 

BabyRaptor

New member
Dec 17, 2010
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Yeah...I'll pass. I prefer games that don't treat me and the rest of my sex like property to use, abuse and stroke their egos over.
 

Doom972

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Dec 25, 2008
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HighPlainsSquinter said:
Doom972 said:
I don't get people complaining about he lack of maturity in this game. If you want a gritty brown shooter you have enough to choose from.
Ignoring for a moment that mature doesn't automatically equal "gritty brown," Duke's over-the-top nature alone shouldn't excuse it from being a mediocre game if that is indeed what it is, don't you think?

Besides, it's not like DNF is one of a kind in its tone. Shooters these days may be pushing for "realism," but there are still a few ridiculous, dumb fun ones out there too. Bulletstorm, anyone?
It doesn't feel mediocre to me. I like playing a challenging fast paced shooter instead of a game that tries to be a military simulator for a change.
 

TMM

New member
Feb 6, 2011
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All I have to say about the game is that I'm having a LOT of fun with it. The snobbishness of the video game reviewers is absolutely staggering. You can't tell me that the reviewers really didn't have fun with this game.

My theory: reviewers are afraid that their wives are going to read their reviews, it's like being caught going to a strip joint.

Is the game immature and flawed? yes absolutely. Is is functional, unique and fun? absolutely too! It has a unique look, it's a tad dated but not horrible. Less brown boring crap. Huge variety in the gameplay what other game has you play air hockey, pinball, rc cars, whack a mole? Has freezerays, shrink rays, huge boss battles? And of course: Duke Nukem ;)

If you don't like these things, then yeah, you might not like it. But saying this game is worse than mediocre is just being vindictive.
 

TheAngryMonkey

New member
Nov 18, 2009
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I think I will have to play this one, before I can believe this review. I mean you guys said Dragon Age:2 was amazing, that was universally considered one of the worst RPG games ever.
 

Lordpils

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Aug 3, 2009
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I called it, I'm not happy I called it (I'm never happy when a game is bad) but I called it nonetheless.
 

Jaime_Wolf

New member
Jul 17, 2009
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An outdated game concept that was arguably poorly executed in the first place didn't translate into a modern masterpiece? Imagine my surprise.

People keep forgetting the amount of nostalgia involved in memories of the old games and they also keep forgetting the core audience of the old games: think about the kind of people who played games like Duke Nukem when they first came out. It's easy to forget how much wider the gaming community has gotten. This was a series of games aimed at arguably the most immature group of gamers (no offence meant to any particular people) there has ever been, composed mostly of straight white male social pariahs.

The old game was clearly a satire on 80s action heroes, but I always got the sense that there was a sort of wink and a nod making sure everyone knew that the satirical element was at least partially a cover-up for glorifying the very things it claimed to be satirising. Ironically, a lot of the parody of the babe-slapping, beer-swilling male douchebag fantasy seemed a bit less than sincere to me. A parody of porn involving naked people having sex is still porn.

Also, re the 2 stars thing that seems to be in every other post: most reviewers scale their ratings to other games, not to some objective scale of quality. Bearing that in mind, even a particularly terrible AAA game has nothing on truly terrible games. Truly terrible games are unplayable. In short, if you do not understand why this got 2 stars, go play ET.