Duke Nukem Forever Review

[Nautical Honors Society]

Your video should be called '10 things I would like about Duke Nukem if I wasn't a hardcore nerd'.

This game isn't designed for the pretentious hardcore gamers you find on places like the escapist.

I let a few friends (who don't play games) have a go on my computer because it seemed like a game early 20s males would find really funny and we just spent the whole time having a laugh.

The game is not great, but it is better than all the serious clone FPS games that have come out recently. I put it on par with Turok, the graphics are ok, the mechanics are ok, the story is interesting enough to keep you playing and it has some really over the top humour (Duke is such a douche bag).

Not a great game but enjoyable nonetheless.

EDIT: It took you an hour to beat the Queen Alien? Why were you the one reviewing this game...

I am not a hardcore nerd and none of those 10 things appeal to me.

Honestly even when used for humoristic purposes those 10 things don't really seem like they'd improve any game.

He wasn't being pretentious, he was speaking the truth, it's just a lot of fans can't get over the fact that this game is bad and decide to justify their purchase by saying "hey it may be terrible, but it is mindless fun blah blah blah".

I can't believe people are defending this game as much as the Withcher II. It is quite funny.

Also, this game looks just like any other FPS clone. It is like Halo, except they made Master Chief a huge douchebag.

 

[Hungry Donner]

Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5

Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.

That scoundrel!

I'd say his Portal 2 review shows a certain level of discernment, and with a game like Portal 2 it's easy to be having so much fun that you don't really care about any niggling flaws (it wasn't until I finished the game that I realized the puzzles weren't as fulfilling as the original's, this hasn't stopped me from completing the game twice since then.) I think it's quite good for a professional game reviewer to possess this sort of discernment, but I somehow doubt it was needed to review a game like Duke Nukem Forever.

 

[Duskflamer]

Go damnit, I pre-ordered this game and now I've decided that there's no way I'm going to buy it. Oh well, Gamestop can keep my damn 5 dollars...

someone else probably responded to this already but, I've had times when I decided not to get a game I preordered from them, and they let me change the preorder to a different game. Might be worth asking about.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

I was juuuuust about to buy this for my brother's birthday (which was on the release date) good thing I watched the demo and gameplay trailers. My brother is younger than me and even he thought the game sucked.

 

[cocoadog]

I'm probably alone here, but I laughed at the giant slap-able wall tits. I mean come on, jiggle jiggle.

 

[theriddlen]

Want a real Duke? Buy Bulletstorm.

 

[punipunipyo]

Well... if it is truly THAT bad... I am glad I picked the little girl (Alice: madness returns) over the big man (duke)... I get to pick it up tomorrow morning(pre order)!

One note on the Ego health bar... (perhaps it's a little late... but heck...) I kinda like it! it's different, and it COULD have sooooo worked for Duke:
First of all, the parts about permanently extending the ego-bar by playing mini games, preforming ego-center acts and do challenges is brilliant!!! it soooo fit! how ever, it ended up to be broken, because it regenerates by being coward... what it SHOULD have been, (i think I've also use this in the bulletstorm forum... EPIC/PCF don't give shit what i said...) is a "berzerker/vampire health system" because Duke's health is ego, and must do "manly things" to upgrade it, and so "healing" his wounded ego,he must pull manly maneuver, and the tougher the maneuvers, the more it heals...
*first thing, IT SHOULD NOT REGENERATE! mad? THIS IS DUKE!~ (kick)
*his health bar should be separated to 3 sections Man, demigod, Duke , and player starts by getting only "man" and had to "grow it out".
*By attacking bad guys, Duke regens Ego, but only up to max of "Man",
*Using finishing moves, QTE moves, duke gets large chunks back (bosses will require QTE moves, and it's hard to activate, and execute)this heals up to "Demigod" max.
*By throwing shit/using peep guns/punch/use lesser weapons/or other humiliating ways on bosses (each bosses/enemies have their own "thing") on tough monsters... duke can then regenerate up to "Duke"max.(example, throwing "shits" at generally any aliens, can gain duke health, but shit breaks..., and throw donuts, coffee at pig cops)

This way, players instead running away, and hide like a little girl, they will have to face the monster, and will actually try to pull all the "man-maneuvers" to heal up! thus make players' actions more heroic!thus make Duke cooler character!~

just a concept, still a working in progress... perhaps the maker of this game wants us to realize that underneath this macho-ego fella, there is a little coward, all machoness is only superficial... that's why duke's ego bar returns...

 

[Levitas1234]

I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.

Shooting people in the dick isn't cool

duke should get health from those slappable tit things, they could be like health packs.

 

[mikev7.0]

Yet I've heard the idea that Gearbox only bought this so that they would own the franchise (thereby being able to make their own Duke game) and so that all of 3D realms work would not have been for nothing as there was a huge fan outcry for the release of this game. So maybe something better is on the horizon?

I hope they keep making Duke games. I've always wanted to see a Zero Hour remake.



From what I've seen and heard, this game is for the 12 year old in all of us, especially the one that grew up with Duke Nukem 64 / 3D. If you can't find that inner 12 year old, you probably won't enjoy this game.

And that is the most honest review I can think of.

Well reviews be damned it looks like my friend is buying it tomorrow anywho so I guess I'll be able to see for myself. To be completely honest everyone's opinions on the game have been so adamant to one side or the other it's just as exciting to find out the truth for myself as it is to play a new game. Only bummer is that it will cut into our co-op GL playing and that makes me sad gamer.

 

[AgentBJ09]

Well, that makes it two bad reviews I've seen today for this game. Here and Destructoid.

Still, I'm supporting Gearbox on this, regardless of the review scores. They took a chance on the IP, and the game, so I'll respect them for that and buy it.

From what I have seen of the game, I'll likely enjoy it for a full play-through, and the Balls of Steel bonuses are the extra perks for me. The multiplayer I can get some thrills from as well, once I get another CAT-5 for my 360.

------------

I'd recommend giving this a read. http://kotaku.com/5811449/in-defense-of-duke-nukem-forever

Thanks for pointing that out. I had a feeling at least one media outlet would make something like this.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

This just in: He also hated on Portal 2.

Hmmmmm.....interesting. He hated on Portal 2? Well, I'm definitely buying Duke tomorrow then. If you hate Portal 2, you really don't understand the games you're playing.

Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5

Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.

Remember, in gamer logic, below 90 means that a game sucks. It's stupid.
OP: Overall, Gearbox just missed the point. The only way this shooter would succeed would be by throwing all modern shooter conventions out of the window. Running 50 mph, having an arsenal of weapons, and placing medkits over non linear levels. Instead, they put in regenerating health, a two weapon limit, and cover based combat.

 

[Faux Furry]

It seems as if there is nothing left to do with this game but to fling it at the wall to see how it sticks: by slicing into it or by splattering all over it in a brown,drippy blob.

That is, until a comprehensive patch is released that overhauls the entire game play experience, negating the accuracy of reviews like this one. Now that would be a hilarious joke played on the player.

 

[Notere]

Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5

Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.

The entire review is more elaborate than some two sentence blurb. Fine work on that. Consider a career in journalism.

 

[WOPR]

Somehow I knew this was going to get a terrible review. After a game has been in development hell this long, I barely see a chance of it being good.

Still not going to deter me from picking it up tomorrow, though I am sad that this isn't the Duke that I grew up with.

Roughly my reaction to the game

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER IS OUT?!?!
SWEET!!!

**hears about the "ego" regen health, the tossable crap, and wallboobs**

Umm... nevermind, I think I'll save $50+tax and get Terraria ($10+no tax)

 

[dantoddd]

having to hide to replenish your ego bar is pure genius.

 

[WOPR]

Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.

Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well

 

[Dice Warwick]

I'm disappointed with the review, mostly with the "F-you viewer I'll just waist your time and then tell you to read the review".

never expected much from the game, and that's why I'm getting it. This game shows more about how badly a game can be mismanaged then how bad a game is. I mean 12 years, that's not 12 years of planning and plotting, that's 12 years of developers not giving a damn, and dicking around, leaving us with this. Duke Nuke was abandoned long ago, but not in the way were Duke is left to wander off, and possibly into a better home, but locked in a shed because the people with the key don't want others to get him, and plan to hoar him off later for money. That's what is going on with this game, enjoy what you can, but don't be surprised about how bad it is.

There is probably a lot of wasted potential in this game. The ego bar sounded like an epic Idea, and I can easily think of how it can work well, but it turns out it is the rechargeable shields from "Halo". So far that's all I have real seen, as the review only tells me "DON'T BUY THIS GAME, IT'S SHITTY SHIT OF A SHITTY GAME, DON'T BUY IT!!!!" thanks for the non info, I did read the review, but it would have been nice if you had shown me how bad the game is intend of throwing a tantrum and doing a "top 5 of what I hate about this list"

So when I play the game, and return it, I'll let you guys know how bad it was, but no video from me, not my skill set.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.

Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well

...in your opinion.

I liked Bulletstorm just fine, thank you very much.

 

[Nexus4]

Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.

Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well

Or even better, just play the original Duke games. I mean why does everyone want a modern game for nostalgia's sake when you can just play the originals that gave you that nostalgia in the first place? Unfortunately, because everyone has their rose tinted goggles on their old games, any remake is going to be lambasted in some way simply by virtue of not being the original they remember.