Duke Nukem Forever Review

[Mr0llivand3r]

even if the game was a perfectly roasted suckling pig served on a buffet tray carved from the wood of the divine cross at a banquet hall in the lost continent of Atlantis, every video game reviewer would saw it's balls off.

it's safe to say that this game has had one of the most incredible amounts of hype of any game due to it's overly long hiatus and development time. when a game like this comes out, critics and reviewers immediately search for and set their focus on what is bad, ignoring everything that may be good about it.

therefore reviews like this can't be trusted because every critic would love nothing more than to rip it to shreds.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

While watching that video, all I could think was: "Yeah. 'Satire'. Suuure."

Seriously, who didn't see this coming?

 

[AsurasFinest]

The fact that you're in fact comparing this game to titles like Call of Duty and Halo says plenty to me, in that you have no inkling to what makes a good game anymore or that in all honesty you never really did. That is of course unless you're praising their recycled and re-used mechanics, which quite frankly isn't much better than the previous.

Despite that little tidbit, the thing that steams me the most is your almost non-sensical berating of this game that nobody with a lick of sense was quite frankly expecting too much out of either way, is just over-the-top unnecessary and plain over-kill.

In my personal oppinion of your review, Duke Nukem Forever was a low-browed joke made to be just that, and that you are far too high on your pedastal to have heard and/or gotten it. I guess to be serious about games these days it means we have to forget that they're still GAMES, is that it?

I played the game, trust me comparing it to those games was the only way to go
Why you ask? Because it copies the same mechanics that they do
It doesn't take you back to nolstagia filled days of running and gunning, it takes you to the scripted event and linear corridors of COD
You even hide behind rocks and buildings while your health regenerates FFS

I don't agree with this guy alot, but on this review he was dead on
I don't blame Gearbox though, I blame 3D realms the timewasting gits for leaving them with this mess to put together

 

[Azaraxzealot]

Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.

even with its modern shooter conventions of regenerating health and the hero being kind of a pussy... it was the first game in a long time i've been able to actually run-n-gun through once i got in the right groove.

even Perfect Dark Zero is a better example of old school shooting! And that game is 5 years old!

Your video should be called '10 things I would like about Duke Nukem if I wasn't a hardcore nerd'.

This game isn't designed for the pretentious hardcore gamers you find on places like the escapist.

I let a few friends (who don't play games) have a go on my computer because it seemed like a game early 20s males would find really funny and we just spent the whole time having a laugh.

The game is not great, but it is better than all the serious clone FPS games that have come out recently. I put it on par with Turok, the graphics are ok, the mechanics are ok, the story is interesting enough to keep you playing and it has some really over the top humour (Duke is such a douche bag).

Not a great game but enjoyable nonetheless.

EDIT: It took you an hour to beat the Queen Alien? Why were you the one reviewing this game...

I am not a hardcore nerd and none of those 10 things appeal to me.

Honestly even when used for humoristic purposes those 10 things don't really seem like they'd improve any game.

He wasn't being pretentious, he was speaking the truth, it's just a lot of fans can't get over the fact that this game is bad and decide to justify their purchase by saying "hey it may be terrible, but it is mindless fun blah blah blah".

I can't believe people are defending this game as much as the Withcher II. It is quite funny.

Also, this game looks just like any other FPS clone. It is like Halo, except they made Master Chief a huge douchebag.

the problem is that it FAILS to be anti-pretentious and anti-modern because it takes on those elements too much

 

[DanDeFool]

You know, I think a lot of us were looking forward to Yahtzee's review of Duke Nukem Forever (I sure was), but now I think he might not even do it.

If DNF is as bad as this review makes it out to be, Yahtzee might just (appropriately) say, "If this is all Duke Nukem is, then a two-year old joke review is all it deserves".

 

[Formica Archonis]

otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time.

I can't tell if that's a typo for "eminently forgettable" or a clever way of saying you forgot the game five seconds after hitting "post" on the review.

 

[hem dazon 90]

And so Duke Nukem Forever is terrible...would this be a tragedy or absolutely hilarious?

It's a hilarious tragedy, Like a a clown beating your mom to death with a dildo

 

[Yureina]

In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice.

Review scores aren't everything, as they too come down to personal taste. The reviewer clearly hated this game, I find it enjoyable. If I can enjoy it, are the numbers wrong? No, because they reflect someone else's taste. Therefore, you can't judge the 'correctness' of the decision on other peoples' reviews. The only way to know for sure if you'd like a game is to watch somebody else playing through it and ask yourself these questions: Do I think I would have fun playing that game? Is there something that destroys the playability of this game

You didn't read what I said did you?

I said that I wouldn't get DNF no matter what reviewers scored it as. The implication here is that my personal taste overrides any potential worth that DNF has. My only interest in this game is mere curiosity about how a game that took so damn long to make ultimately turned out.

In other words... your response to me was pretty much saying what I already think, and expressed, to some extent, in my post. :3

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

I am enjoying the hell out of this game. It's some of the most fun I've had with a game in a long time. I picked it up alongside L.A. Noire and it feels like I picked up two polar opposites, which is something of a good thing. (L.A. Noire scarred me with the rape and pedophile scenes... :<)

But yeah, I can't say I'm surprised with these poor reviews, but I can't help but think 3D Realms deserves more credit. Gearbox salvaged a game they had a lot of respect for, and I think that shows. And even though people will point and laugh at me when I tell them I really really like Duke Nukem Forever, well... I do. I really, really like Duke Nukem Forever. Never has my opinion on a game so varied with Mr Pitt's, but there you go.

 

[joest01]

This game is showing me that I'm getting old.

I am enjoying every minute of it. Well except the cheap difficulty spikes but I guess thats a nod to the old school as well

But my own opinion aside, I honestly dont get some of the reviewers out there. This review isn't even as guilty of it but some seem not to get the toilet scene in minute 2 of the game. There is actually very little of that in the game. It's mostly shooting, platforming, puzzling and an interactive environment that helps flesh out the character and level up the health bar at the same time.

And thats where I dont get the above review either. Whats the complaint? Do people even realize that this isnt supposed to be CoD. DN's heritage is a 2D j&r shoot em up. And jumping from bun to bun in a floated kitchen as mini duke does a great job of bringing that back. It's no Retro studios level re-imaging of the Duke. Nor was Duke ever as groundbreaking as metroid. But it does the job. And for people who enjoyed Duke in the past this will not disapoint.

Period.

 

[WildFire15]

I'll take the assumption the console port really is that bad, either that or the fact it's not a serious, realistic war game scares people these days. I'm quite enjoying myself with the PC version, but I went in with no expectations. I was looking for something a bit different, mind, as I'm sick to the back teeth of 'serious, realistic war games', they're 10 a penny and a completely unserious game like DNF hit that spot quite well, though it didn't blow me away by any stretch of the imagination.
So there you go, don't take it even vaguely seriously and you'll enjoy yourself.

 

[Kingpopadopalus]

Duke Nukem Forever Review

Duke is the bastard son of a thousand game developers - and it shows.

Read Full Article

Haters gonna hate.

 

[tzimize]

Its a bit funny. While I was playing DNF I kept thinking...ah man...this could have been a 10. There are so many good ideas in it, and so much poor executions. Still the good ideas were enough to entertain me throughout.

I kept thinking and comparing it to another recent shooter of a different calibre. Crysis 2. Which has stellar graphics and a much more focused "story", and decided to look up the review on the escapist.

The Escapist on Crysis 2:

"Bottom Line: Combining an outstanding setting, tremendous visuals, and an open-ended play style, Crysis 2 is the whole package. Small problems with the story and some minor design annoyances don't get in the way of an otherwise amazing experience.

Recommendation: If you like shooters and are as tired of Call of Duty clones as I am, this is the game for you"

This just seems plain stupid to me. Outstanding setting? In what way? Tremendous visuals...true. Open ended playstyle? Really? Small problems with the story? Are you serious? And "minor annoyances"? While every reviewer is entitled to his own opinion this game ends up at 4 stars. With a description that easily could have fit DNF (excepting the tremendous visuals).

And the recommendation for crysis 2 is just laughable. That line REALLY should be stomped on the DNF review, but instead the DNF review is stuck with "Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time."

All in all I know DNF is not a perfect game, far, far from it. It has been in development hell for half my lifetime. But still it emerged bringing me more entertainment than a lot of recent titles. I'm not sure what that says most about, me or the games...but I think a lot of people go into this review with the wrong expectations and or mindset.

DNF I finished in a few days. Despite its flaws I enjoyed it, and laughed a lot while playing it. Crysis 2 is still on my hard-drive...unfinished...left to rot because of an awful story and simple dullness even if it looks better than real life.

There is probably a lesson to be learned here...for all that are involved. And I for one, hope its not the last we've seen of the Duke.

 

[Koios]

In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice.

Review scores aren't everything, as they too come down to personal taste. The reviewer clearly hated this game, I find it enjoyable. If I can enjoy it, are the numbers wrong? No, because they reflect someone else's taste. Therefore, you can't judge the 'correctness' of the decision on other peoples' reviews. The only way to know for sure if you'd like a game is to watch somebody else playing through it and ask yourself these questions: Do I think I would have fun playing that game? Is there something that destroys the playability of this game

You didn't read what I said did you?

I said that I wouldn't get DNF no matter what reviewers scored it as. The implication here is that my personal taste overrides any potential worth that DNF has. My only interest in this game is mere curiosity about how a game that took so damn long to make ultimately turned out.

In other words... your response to me was pretty much saying what I already think, and expressed, to some extent, in my post. :3

I probably didn't do a good job at conveying my thoughts on this one, but my intent was something along the lines of "reviewer scores are terrible things to justify judgements with." Probably. I seem to have forgotten since I posted that. 3:30 AM and all.

 

[squeekenator]

Why is everyone saying that Yahtzee is going to make a scathing review of this game? He already has.

 

[PureIrony]

Wait. A game so atrociously bad as to be more boring than fishing, and apparently features some of the most vulgar content ever conceived in a game, gets 2 out of five stars?

I think we need to rethink the criteria.

 

[Revolutionary]

Well I knew it was going to get a terrible review because I played it...then returned it and used the credit as a deposit pre-order for skyrim. Also I think there should be more videos like this.

 

[grigjd3]

Awesome review.

 

[otakutengu42]

Looks like I'll be buying Alice madness returns.