Duke Nukem Forever Review

[Twilight_guy]

I expected a game in development for 12 years and being canceled once to suck and I was right. The worst part of this is that we need a new stupid joke to throw around the gaming community. I purpose replacing DNF with StarCraft: Ghost.

 

[Withard]

I find it both fun and challenging ?
And I chuckle every time the Duke throws a line.

It either makes me one immature 21 year old or one of the few left in the world who can enjoy the little things.
And since I've never been called out on immaturity it must be the little things.

Also, for bashing the immaturity, the reviewer drew a dick on the whiteboard, all his arguments are invalid in my honest opinion.

My friend you COMPLETELY misunderstood the video "review" then *sigh* It was even explained. :/

The whole, "If I were 12 years old" thing? No I got that too, and it only furthers my belief that Russ Pitt is unfit to be a reviewer on a site such as this, who has such a large number of visitors and followers. Either do your job thoroughly or quit it. I expected more from this site. Lesson well leaned.

If your after a SEEERRRIIIIOOOOUUUUUSSSSSS review website then maybe the Guardian is more up your street. I mean...400+ Posts was for the lulz of course and obviously you dont enjoy the site because of its amusing reviews and you DEFINITELY dont enjoy ZeroPunctuation.

Also...you do realize he is the Content Director & Editor-in-Chief so im pretty sure YOUR idea on how to run a site is pretty much null and void.

And again I STILL dont think you understood the idea of the video.

 

[Artemis923]

"I'm not 12 so this game sucks"
Do we really need to act our age all the time? Being adults we are expected to act our age all the time, at work, in public, ect... Acting anything other then as an adult is frowned upon so really... a game that does not take its self seriously and allows you to toss shit at the wall, get drunk and burp and slap wall tits just because you can really lets you just have a small amount of fun time that you can not normally do because... its just not mature to do.

For myself, I am going to play this and I am going to enjoy it because sometimes I just get tired of having to be mature all the time.

Well said. It seems like every game journalist out there is jumping on the "we're too good for this game" bandwagon. There was a time where games weren't meant to be serious, story driven drama-fests that pull the heart strings and change how you think. I'd rather play this than another CoD clone ANY day of the week, and I'll take the skulls of whoever says otherwise for Khorne.

 

[Deathninja19]

I give this my worse rating yet 4 thumbs up.

Seriously 2 stars? I don't really care but it's still odd.

 

[Koios]

The snobbishness of the video game reviewers is absolutely staggering. You can't tell me that the reviewers really didn't have fun with this game.

There was a reviewer on 1Up's website who admitted to enjoying parts of the game in his review, but he gave the game an F anyway. There are people who will hate this game just to hate it, it seems.

The game sucks.

If it wasn't for the outdated graphics,unreasonable frame drops,game crashes and bugs and glitches,it is for the gameplay.

you will have to restart the level you already completed so you go to the level exit having the guns ideal for the next level with you.
It sucks when this happens.

The frame drops/crashes/bugs/glitches seem to happen to some people and not others, sounds like you just got unlucky. However, I hate when people complain about graphics. Duke Nukem Forever looks just fine; what about the graphics made this game worse?

Also, I've yet to hear anybody else complain about weapon carry over. You're the first person to do so, and having watched streams of gameplay, I can say that tis doen't appear to be an issue because people are able to push past with whatever weapons they happen to have.

 

[roostuf]

No surprise here then, but im still going to buy it just to say "i bought it, i played it, now i can move on).

 

[Artemis923]

Oh, boy! Jack Thompson is going to be haaaaaappy! -_-

But really, maybe we are looking at this in a wrong perspective. If we were immature teenagers we'd probably love this! It's like Twilight, it's really, really bad, but it's good for teenage girls... and that's their target audience. So, technically, Twilight and Duke Nuke Forever are really excell... I'm sorry, I just can't finish that sentence! But, do you get my point?

KILL! MAIM! BURN! I'll take your skull for Khorne for such an insult of The Duke! @_@

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

"cause I'm not 12. And this game sucks."

Made me laugh, contrasting to the straight faced nature of the rest of the video.

 

[Notere]

Heh. It is however a summary though. You know that thing that's a short synopsis of a whole piece or a concise encapsulation of the thoughts and ideas presented. In your words, you did fine work on that, and you should consider a career involving reading comprehension. Seriously though and joking aside, when the major concern is that it might not be as brilliant as its predecessor you consider that hating?

Except he spent more bloody time harping in the written review on crap that isn't mentioned at all in the synopsis than is worthwhile. He spent the ENTIRE opening paragraph calling the game a grown-up child star that's not self-aware enough to evolve and realize how silly it looks trying to do the same tricks. The synopsis basically cuts out all of his whining. It's not that it wasn't as brilliant. It's that it's more of the same with some new bits tacked on. The point of the reviews he makes are, typically, to take a game where you know exactly what you're getting going into it and despising it for delivering on exactly what you expected.

This just in: Portal is about snarky voices and puzzle gaming. Probably easier if you've done the first, but still a nice chunk of play time. DNF? Yeah. It's Duke fucking Nukem. If you wanted a ground-breaking 15 hour thesis on the human condition, you're playing the wrong game. Then you harp on it for being what it is? It's like reviewing Postal 3 and being surprised at dated graphics and deliberately inflammatory exaggerations of everything ever.

If you don't like the basic premise and theme of a game, or a series of games, why bother? Give it to someone else, or make one brief paragraph. "This is not my kind of game. If the first Duke Nukem was not your cup of tea, this won't be either. Ask someone else."

The guy basically buys a ticket, goes into the circus, watches the clowns, then makes an article about how he dislikes clowns, despite having seen them before and knowing his opinion then.

 

[mikespoff]

"If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead."

Ouch. Well, if it's taken 12 years, launches amid a huge media hype and is still crap, then I think such a review is merited.

There are simply no mitigating factors for this game. It's not trying something new and innnovative (like Mirror's Edge) it's not being done by an indie enthusiast (like Minecraft). If it sucks, it has no excuses.

 

[I want to leave because extra credits is gone]

This RvB PSA is fitting of DNF http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5aUvk86XiA&feature=fvsr

 

[OneBig Man]

Meh, I liked Duke's quotes better when they were said by Bruce Campbell.

 

[ProtonGuy]

Ah yes elitistmagazing.com where if a game doesn't have multiplayer filled with screaming, profane 12 year olds, or isn't an artsy downloadable title it's completely written off as shoddy and terrible. Oh I almost for got that if a game isn't somehow related to Final Fantasy VII everyone here will also hate it. But what do I know, I mean I've only been gaming since the Intellivision. Sometimes it's just fun to put in a game and blow up aliens and save the world, but I guess that's to gouache for a generation that wears plaid shits with skinny jeans while sipping their Lattes.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Ah yes elitistmagazing.com where if a game doesn't have multiplayer filled with screaming, profane 12 year olds, or isn't an artsy downloadable title it's completely written off as shoddy and terrible.

Hi, you must be new here. A lot of people hate CoD and Halo round these here parts.

Oh I almost for got that if a game isn't somehow related to Final Fantasy VII everyone here will also hate it.

Portal got 4/5. How is that in any way related to FF VII?

But what do I know, I mean I've only been gaming since the Intellivision. Sometimes it's just fun to put in a game and blow up aliens and save the world

Yes. Sometimes it is. However, this is not a good example. Pissing, throwing poop, slapping wall-breasts? Those sound like a good time to you?

but I guess that's to gouache for a generation that wears plaid shits with skinny jeans while sipping their Lattes.

Ad hominem attack. That's all I have to say in that matter

OT: Let's hope that Gearbox puts out a good Duke game next time around. I don't 100% blame them, but from what I see, they could have used a longer dev cycle.

 

[ProtonGuy]

Gee skip you almost hurt my feelings there. I'm just sick of this site taking the game equivalents of B and C movies and making them out to be the anti-christ. Game are, in essence, toys that evolved over the years when it comes down to it there's a toy for everyone, and somewhere someone will enjoy it. I like Duke, I'm having fun with it, but unfortunately my opinion is in the minority because people would rather believe a star or a number than rent it and form their own opinion.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Gee skip you almost hurt my feelings there.

"Skip"?

I'm just sick of this site taking the game equivalents of B and C movies and making them out to be the anti-christ.

If you are refering to the review, he didn't say "OMG THIS GAME SUXXXXX". He presented his points in a calm manner about why the game was bad.

Game are, in essence, toys that evolved over the years when it comes down to it there's a toy for everyone, and somewhere someone will enjoy it.

Hence the two stars. Meaning that only the most hardcore fans will enjoy it. And not all toys are created equal

I like Duke, I'm having fun with it

Good for you.

but unfortunately my opinion is in the minority because people would rather believe a star or a number than rent it and form their own opinion.

A lot of people here have already played it and writen lists out of why they did not like it and what they thought was done wrong.

If you enjoy DNF, more power too you. However, a lot of people don't.

 

[theonlywildman]

OT: Let's hope that Gearbox puts out a good Duke game next time around. I don't 100% blame them, but from what I see, they could have used a longer dev cycle.

Agreed i hope that Gearbox is not discouraged by this and continues the series. I still have faith in the King

 

[ProtonGuy]

Gee skip you almost hurt my feelings there.

"Skip"?

I'm just sick of this site taking the game equivalents of B and C movies and making them out to be the anti-christ.

If you are refering to the review, he didn't say "OMG THIS GAME SUXXXXX". He presented his points in a calm manner about why the game was bad.

Game are, in essence, toys that evolved over the years when it comes down to it there's a toy for everyone, and somewhere someone will enjoy it.

Hence the two stars. Meaning that only the most hardcore fans will enjoy it. And not all toys are created equal

I like Duke, I'm having fun with it

Good for you.

but unfortunately my opinion is in the minority because people would rather believe a star or a number than rent it and form their own opinion.

A lot of people here have already played it and writen lists out of why they did not like it and what they thought was done wrong.

If you enjoy DNF, more power too you. However, a lot of people don't.

/handshake, to a heated debate neither of us turned into a flame war. To bad games and good alike!

 

[Koios]

Yes. Sometimes it is. However, this is not a good example. Pissing, throwing poop, slapping wall-breasts? Those sound like a good time to you?

The game isn't focused on doing any of those things. Yea, they're there for the people who might enjoy that, but nobody's forcing players to do any of them.

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Gee skip you almost hurt my feelings there.

"Skip"?

I'm just sick of this site taking the game equivalents of B and C movies and making them out to be the anti-christ.

If you are refering to the review, he didn't say "OMG THIS GAME SUXXXXX". He presented his points in a calm manner about why the game was bad.

Game are, in essence, toys that evolved over the years when it comes down to it there's a toy for everyone, and somewhere someone will enjoy it.

Hence the two stars. Meaning that only the most hardcore fans will enjoy it. And not all toys are created equal

I like Duke, I'm having fun with it

Good for you.

but unfortunately my opinion is in the minority because people would rather believe a star or a number than rent it and form their own opinion.

A lot of people here have already played it and writen lists out of why they did not like it and what they thought was done wrong.

If you enjoy DNF, more power too you. However, a lot of people don't.

/handshake, to a heated debate neither of us turned into a flame war. To bad games and good alike!

Cheers!

OT: I think Gearbox can make a good Duke Nukem game. They did make Borderlands, after all, which is one of my all time favorite games.
They would just need to start from the top, and see what makes a good FPS game. The first thing would be to allow him to cary more than 2 guns at once. If my soldier from Borderlands can cary a pistol, SMG, Assault Rifle, rocket launcher, combat shotgun, explosive shotgun, ect, there's no reason why Duke cannot as well.