Elon Musk's purchase of Twitter may soon go through

Thaluikhain

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The fuck would I hit a chimpanzee with a ukelele for? I've done some fucking stupid shit in my life but not even in the same postcode as that fucking stupid.
Well, it's a step up on fighting one barehanded. But yeah, now that you mention it, a bit odd.
 

Thaluikhain

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True... true... but I'm not a social media 'celebrity' so I should be given some benefit of the doubt.
Hand to hand combat with a chimpanzee whilst armed with a ukelele would be a good way of becoming a social media celebrity, now that you mention it.
 

Thaluikhain

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Actually, I wonder if Musk or one of his ilk would be egotistical enough to try fighting a chimpanzee?

The last time someone did something like that that I remember, it was against a kangaroo, but they had to tie a rope to it to stop it fighting back too hard. Cause otherwise it could have killed the stupid git.
 

Ag3ma

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Actually, I wonder if Musk or one of his ilk would be egotistical enough to try fighting a chimpanzee?
I wouldn't like to fight a chimpanzee.

Muscle strength depends on the type of fibre. Human muscle tends towards fibre for endurance - sustained low-moderate effort. The muscle of all other great apes has a substantially higher proportion of fibres designed for strength, but which will tire relatively quickly. This means that for equal amounts of muscle, chimps are very significantly stronger than a human.
 

Chimpzy

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Actually, I wonder if Musk or one of his ilk would be egotistical enough to try fighting a chimpanzee?

The last time someone did something like that that I remember, it was against a kangaroo, but they had to tie a rope to it to stop it fighting back too hard. Cause otherwise it could have killed the stupid git.
I mean, once came across this survey where 6% of Americans surveyed felt they can beat a grizzly in an unarmed fight. Also, the 61% who think they can take a goose.
 

Thaluikhain

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I wouldn't like to fight a chimpanzee.

Muscle strength depends on the type of fibre. Human muscle tends towards fibre for endurance - sustained low-moderate effort. The muscle of all other great apes has a substantially higher proportion of fibres designed for strength, but which will tire relatively quickly. This means that for equal amounts of muscle, chimps are very significantly stronger than a human.
Yup, hence my suggestion to run away and throw things at it.

I mean, once came across this survey where 6% of Americans surveyed felt they can beat a grizzly in an unarmed fight. Also, the 61% who think they can take a goose.
It is heartening to see that British people are less embarrassingly optimistic about their bear fighting ability.
 

Absent

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The optimism about elephant wrestling is also uplifting.
 

Thaluikhain

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IIRC, in the 30s, octopus wrestling was a thing. Though, these were non-venomous non-giant octopodes who didn't want to be wrestled. Apparently people thought they were much scarier than they really are back then.
 

Baffle

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I wouldn't like to fight a chimpanzee.

Muscle strength depends on the type of fibre. Human muscle tends towards fibre for endurance - sustained low-moderate effort. The muscle of all other great apes has a substantially higher proportion of fibres designed for strength, but which will tire relatively quickly. This means that for equal amounts of muscle, chimps are very significantly stronger than a human.
It's a lose--lose situation: if you lose you've been dismantled by a chimpanzee; if you win you've beaten up a harmless chimpanzee, you bastard.
 
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Ag3ma

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The optimism about elephant wrestling is also uplifting.
Let's start putting people who think they can beat a grizzly bear or an elephant into locked cage deathmatches with one. Very quickly, everyone else who once thought they could will start saying otherwise.

I do however feel confident I could take on a goose.
 

Thaluikhain

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Let's start putting people who think they can beat a grizzly bear or an elephant into locked cage deathmatches with one. Very quickly, everyone else who once thought they could will start saying otherwise.

I do however feel confident I could take on a goose.
Yeah, wonder why the goose is so feared. Of course, one of the most dangerous animals in the world is the hippopotamus, but we don't hear people worrying about them. No one talks about the hippo apocalypse. Also known as the hippocalypse. Not to be confused with the hiphop apocalypse, which is more musical.

(Though I suspect if hippos looked scarier, they'd kill less people do to not being as underestimated by ignorant people)