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Dirty Hipsters

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Yup, hence my suggestion to run away and throw things at it.



It is heartening to see that British people are less embarrassingly optimistic about their bear fighting ability.
Me looking at this chart: "Yeah, I could probably beat a wolf in a fight."
 

RhombusHatesYou

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What type of falcon, eagle, or hawk is that? What's it gonna do, knock me off cliff?
That's an Australian Magpie... and given a chance it will rip shit out of your scalp, ears and even sometimes they'll go for your eyes.

And, the real fun, they remember faces. That means every swooping season (sept-oct) a magpie that has swooped you will do it every time it sees you... and will also teach it's children to attack you. Because magpie.
 

BrawlMan

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That's an Australian Magpie... and given a chance it will rip shit out of your scalp, ears and even sometimes they'll go for your eyes.

And, the real fun, they remember faces. That means every swooping season (sept-oct) a magpie that has swooped you will do it every time it sees you... and will also teach it's children to attack you. Because magpie.
If I am ever in Australia, I'll be sure to wear a thick Voorhees goalie mask, and a helmet.
 

Bedinsis

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I thought dolphins was considered one of the more intelligent animals. And chimps one of the more intelligent apes. Maybe the level of cognition in animals correlates with being more of an a-hole?

The story about Australian magpies reminds me of an experiment they did on ravens where they had someone wearing a mask harass ravens and after a while they noted that 1. ravens tended to learn to be vary whenever a human in a mask approached and 2. this behaviour extended to ravens that had never encountered the mask-wearing harassing human, meaning the information spread via communication between the ravens.

Side-note: for once, I think I actually like that the thread has veered way off topic. Animal facts are fun.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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If I am ever in Australia, I'll be sure to wear a thick Voorhees goalie mask, and a helmet.
They're generally only a problem in spring when they've got eggs or chicks in the nest.

There's an upside to them remembering faces... if they 'like' you (for example, they come hang around when you put your dog's food out in the morning so they can nab some no-fuss calories and you let them do it) the likelihood of them ever attacking you (without major provocation) are close to zero.
 
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Baffle

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Me looking at this chart: "Yeah, I could probably beat a wolf in a fight."
I'm going as high as eagle, purely because it's got to come down to my level for the fight and I don't reckon it'll be good on its feet. Large dog I could go either way because it's going to depend on what you mean by large dog - a big GSD or a Bully XL would eat me alive, but I could whale on a labrador all day long.
 

Ag3ma

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I thought dolphins was considered one of the more intelligent animals. And chimps one of the more intelligent apes. Maybe the level of cognition in animals correlates with being more of an a-hole?
I think intelligence means more sophisticated or complex ways of doing things.

If we imagine animals often span a series of "personality" traits like we do - some maybe have more of a sense of fun, more curious, more aggressive, etc. this means that the individuals that have a higher level of tolerance for harming things can think up more sophisticated and complex ways of being really unpleasant. The bright side is that many animals have also been observed to be respectful and even protective of the lives of other species.

What we do know of many animals is that if we put them under stress, their behaviour gets worse.
 
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RhombusHatesYou

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I'm going as high as eagle, purely because it's got to come down to my level for the fight and I don't reckon it'll be good on its feet.
They really need to specify what type of eagle... a bald eagle? Pffft. Glorified fucken seagull. Wedgetail Eagle, Harpy Eagle or Phillipines Eagle? No fucking way they're fucken HUGE.