Escapism update: We have Gerald
- Thread starter jim_doki
- Start date
Recommended Videos
I do believe you've been duped.
This
Is Gerald. (note the number of legs, decidedly red colouring and tell-tale mouth line thing.)
What you have there is nothing but a cheap imitation.
Of course, Gerald (who by the way is right here with me at the moment) doesn't want any harm to come to this hostage crab, however he doesn't negotiate with those that use such underhand tactics.
However I will be running through your demands and systematically refusing them one by one.
2. No. Instead I shall make a comic that has all the offending escapists shown plunging down a ravine inside sacks filled with poisonous snakes.
3 That video was given to me on the grounds that I never show it to anyone else. I'm a man of my word.
d Well I just came back from the New Zealand Tractor convention (which everyone in the country attends) and ran into Mr Kitten. Where he said "I'm never gonna put that Jim_Doki fellow into my game, never! Even if he holds an innocent crab hostage."
So you're out of luck there too.
5 The President has already said it, but I'll repeat his words. We at the escapist do not negotiate with terrorists. Unless if by "negotiate" we mean "send in a crack squad of Crustacean commandos."
No crack squad is coming, please leave all windows and doors unlocked, and leave all drains or pipes unblocked.
This
Is Gerald. (note the number of legs, decidedly red colouring and tell-tale mouth line thing.)
What you have there is nothing but a cheap imitation.
Of course, Gerald (who by the way is right here with me at the moment) doesn't want any harm to come to this hostage crab, however he doesn't negotiate with those that use such underhand tactics.
However I will be running through your demands and systematically refusing them one by one.
1. No. In fact, for the henious crime of kidnapping an innocent crab, I give you anti-cigars. May you never again feel the smooth, lung damaging taste of an Iron Ninja cigar.jim_doki said:
2. No. Instead I shall make a comic that has all the offending escapists shown plunging down a ravine inside sacks filled with poisonous snakes.
3 That video was given to me on the grounds that I never show it to anyone else. I'm a man of my word.
d Well I just came back from the New Zealand Tractor convention (which everyone in the country attends) and ran into Mr Kitten. Where he said "I'm never gonna put that Jim_Doki fellow into my game, never! Even if he holds an innocent crab hostage."
So you're out of luck there too.
5 The President has already said it, but I'll repeat his words. We at the escapist do not negotiate with terrorists. Unless if by "negotiate" we mean "send in a crack squad of Crustacean commandos."
No crack squad is coming, please leave all windows and doors unlocked, and leave all drains or pipes unblocked.
For some reason, instead of in a helicopter or plane, I'm seeing you by yourself just flying ominously amongst the clouds.Ultrajoe said:
Sort of like this.
Except Flight of the Valkyries is playing as well, though I can't really show that through the medium of imagery.
That was rather the intention of my ambiguity... including the Flight of the Valkyries. Dragonforce, while often over-the-top, is perfectly substituted in situations like this.The Iron Ninja said:
And it's time for another wallpaper change, methinks.
EDIT: On second though, stick with the Valkyries. They add a level of class and comic brilliance that i cannot describe. I just stared at that picture while i watched, and laughed like a man freebasing sherbet.
Ahh....Good old Batimore. I didn't live there, but that's where I finally got me some good cello eddicatin'.....xitel said:
So, is everyone still there in Sydney?
you think this is a joke? THis crab will be boiled. It will die people. I am not joking. any attempts, ultra or otherwise, will only aid in the destruction of this crustation. by the time Joe gets here, we're talking crab burgers. i dont want to hurt this crab, but make no mistake... I will
EDIT:
Pix and day wrap up coming very soon
EDIT:
Pix and day wrap up coming very soon
You fool.jim_doki said:
All this talk of Star fleets, commandos and Flying blue warriors was merely a distraction.
While you were franticly panicing, Gerald (the real Gerald) Snuck in, rescued the hostage, and replaced him with a convincing plush toy. Go ahead, boil it, rip it apart, stick pins in it, whatever you do, it won't make a difference.
Both Crabs are now perfectly safe.
However I'm told that you on the other hand might have a small Ultraknight-Battlefleet problem.
look at the crab gerald brought back. just look. do you honestly think i would do this unprepared? HE has the decoy. I have this crab, incidentally also named Gerald, in my loft, right next to me. Unless Gerald can phase through glass and brick, i still have the real crab.The Iron Ninja said:
your heartlessness surprises even me. very well, what would you like to see done to this poor little creature?TheNecroswanson said:
It is out of extreme curiosity that I wonder if you/your superiors/your parent company would consider licensing and selling them in your store, with royalties to our very own FeNinja?tendo82 said:
Your naivety astounds me. I think Gerald would know a crab when he sees one. Perhaps it is you that should take a closer look at your supposed crab. Gerald did not steal away with the hostage by himself. He had a little help, namely from a certain other crab that I have been leasing to Jamanticus. It's largely ethereal, and multi-dimentional, so physical walls were not a problem.jim_doki said:
After the crab warped Gerald and himself in it was merely a matter of linking claws with the hostage, clicking their back legs together, and teleporting home.
Jamanticus, you will get Horrace back shortly, I apologise for not informing you of the reason he had disappeared sooner.
You're not the first to recommend I should do so.tendo82 said:
Currently I would expect them to sell about... Five in total.