Escapism update: We have Gerald

[The Iron Ninja]

*Reads Above*

Look, I've Got 35 Impressive Angel Metaphors, 24 Similes Involving The Word 'Righteous' And 12 Blindfolded Priests Of The Darker Gods Out Here Loading The Dominator. Am I Cleared For Entry Or Not? Do We Have The Hostage Crab?

We do.

 

[jim_doki]

Your naivety astounds me. I think Gerald would know a crab when he sees one. Perhaps it is you that should take a closer look at your supposed crab. Gerald did not steal away with the hostage by himself. He had a little help, namely from a certain other crab that I have been leasing to Jamanticus. It's largely ethereal, and multi-dimentional, so physical walls were not a problem.
After the crab warped Gerald and himself in it was merely a matter of linking claws with the hostage, clicking their back legs together, and teleporting home.

Jamanticus, you will get Horrace back shortly, I apologise for not informing you of the reason he had disappeared sooner.

poor poor FeNinja.

did i say decoy plushie, or just decoy?

ask yourself, wouldn't he KNOW that you would try to get him back? wouldn't he like a few... backup crabs, for... insurance reasons?

 

[The Iron Ninja]

^ He's bluffing. Get 'em Joe!

Edit: Get out of the way Indigo. You're ruining my pointing.

 

[jim_doki]

ONE STEP CLOSER AND I TAKE ONE OF NECRO'S SUGGESTIONS

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

ONE STEP CLOSER AND I TAKE ONE OF NECRO'S SUGGESTIONS

Take two steps closer and I'll tap dance. Top hat, cane, monocle, et al.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

ONE STEP CLOSER AND I TAKE ONE OF NECRO'S SUGGESTIONS

Take two steps closer and I'll tap dance. Top hat, cane, monocle, et al.

This I have to see.

*moves two steps closer*

 

[curlycrouton]

Remember your motto...

Never leave a good crab behind.
Remember, we're Rangers not some sorry-ass JROTC. We're Elite. Let's act like it out there. Hoo-ah?
Hoo-ah!

We've got a Redcrab down, we've got a Redcrab Down. Gerald-61 is down. We have a crab down in the city.

 

[jim_doki]

ONE STEP CLOSER AND I TAKE ONE OF NECRO'S SUGGESTIONS

Take two steps closer and I'll tap dance. Top hat, cane, monocle, et al.

This I have to see.

*moves two steps closer*

Eviljoe, do the honours

 

[The Iron Ninja]

How foolish you are. Luckily, I took some extra initiative.

I anticipated you using the real Gerald to free the fake one, so I waited around for him. You ethereal crab was unexpected, but I was able to brainwash it using my sunglasses and iPod backlight .

I switched the Real Gerald for one of our decoy crabs (it was tough to make him look just like the real Gerald. there were some....unfortunate trial runs), freed the first decoy crab, and sent back all three to you. Little knowing that you played right into my hands.

Do you really think I would have used the real Gerald?
That robotic one was rather expensive, and it seems a shame that it had to be destroyed.
Well... At least those turbo-lasers do good, quick work.
I can see the lights from here, it's very pretty.

 

[Ultrajoe]

*Reads Above*

Look, I've Got 35 Impressive Angel Metaphors, 24 Similes Involving The Word 'Righteous' And 12 Blindfolded Priests Of The Darker Gods Out Here Loading The Dominator. Am I Cleared For Entry Or Not? Do We Have The Hostage Crab?

We do.

Then We Will Begin. Boys?

Orchestra Prepped? Ammunition Loaded? Victory Feast Planned? Yes? Then Here We Go.

A One, A Two, A One Two Three...

*Ahem* (I know damn well what i just liked you to. Roll with it)

The Sun Rises...

And With It Comes Death On Big-Asses Blue Gauntlets. Time Seems To Slow And The Very Earth Sing The Thunderous Advance Of Terror Itself. An Angel Made Flesh, Like A Righteous Comet Bound To Our Mortal Sphere, The Charge Of The Ultraknight Is The Eternal Tread Of Fear And The Very Heartbeat Of The Cosmos. Planets Have Rolled To Their Doom With Less Power And Determination. Suns Have Died With Less Ferocity!

From The Sky He Comes, The Touch Of Hate Itself. Fury Incarnate.

Below Him, Walls Quake And Doors Burst Open In Repentance. Locks Burst Open In Adoration For The Approach Of The Truth Made Incarnate.

The Very Air Ignites As He Storms The Walls Like A Wave Of Holy Justice!

Into an empty room.

Ok, Cut The Damn Music! Turn It Off. TURN IT OFF!!

Sweet Balls Ninja, We've Been Duped! He's Not Here! Whatever He Really Wanted, He's Made Off With It While We Were After The Crab Hostage!

Get The Dominator Out Of Here, Boys.

Boys?

Oh No.

....Oh Yes...

WAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Put The Music Back On...

 

[Dommyboy]

Clearly you all underestimate the extreme power that Gerald holds.

 

[jim_doki]

mods, this is going to become a legit picture and recount thread as soon as possible, please dont lock, it's all in good fun. no crabs are really in danger

 

[Dommyboy]

Clearly you all underestimate the extreme power that Gerald holds.

Power is immaterial - his will is mine.

You'll be sorry, You'll all be sorry! Bow before Gerald or feel his wrath!

 

[jim_doki]

do you see now? we have this crab, we have Evil Joe, we have pots of boiling water and we are getting hungry. if i were you, i would start making good on a few demands. we have already taken one down.

how many crustations you feel like losing today?

 

[curlycrouton]

do you see now? we have this crab, we have Evil Joe, we have pots of boiling water and we are getting hungry. if i were you, i would start making good on a few demands. we have already taken one down.

how many crustations you feel like losing today?

You mean crustaceans, right?

Hail Ze Grammar!

 

[Neosage]

Right so what exactly is happening now that you have an immitation crab?

 

[Ultrajoe]

Right so what exactly is happening now that you have an immitation crab?

The Crab Was A Ruse, An Evil Ruse!

I Don't Know What He Was Really After, I'm Just Here To Get Paid And Steal Super-weapons...

 

[Fire Daemon]

you think this is a joke? THis crab will be boiled. It will die people. I am not joking. any attempts, ultra or otherwise, will only aid in the destruction of this crustation. by the time Joe gets here, we're talking crab burgers. i dont want to hurt this crab, but make no mistake... I will

EDIT:
Pix and day wrap up coming very soon

He'll do it people, he's crazy. Pure crazy this man is, pure crazy. Don't think he's lying, he'll follow up on every threat. A part of me still can't believe he would post up pictures but by god he'll do it. He'll do it... he's insane.

Oh and the crab thing... yeah he'll do that too. Y'all better look out now, hear.

 

[Neosage]

Right so what exactly is happening now that you have an immitation crab?

You're about 7 posts behind, man.

You doubt my intelligence? Thats it, SOMETHING EVERYTHING WILL BURN!

 

[Galletea]

I'm getting a touch confused. My evil-doers-spy-on-the-world 5000 can't differentiate between crabs. Which is the decoy? Is it a plushie? I don't know.
I guess all I can do is watch and wait now.

Although I can see that the Eviljoe does not yet have platinum locks, so there is still a chance of defeating him.