Every Game Ever

[k-ossuburb]

Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.

Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].

If you got the "true" ending you'll find out that Mantorok is the most [evil thing] of all the [evil thing]s in that game because

Spoiler

it's revealed at the end that he was manipulating everything so that every time you replayed the game to defeat the alternate gods who's story you didn't play the first time you were actually playing an alternate universe version of what happened at the same time as when you first started playing, meaning that in every parallel timeline they all killed each other and therefore cancel each other out. He simply combined all the timelines together and took over because, without them, he was able to reach his full power and bring on the Eternal Darkness that everyone was hinting at throughout the game (or at least that;s what was hinted at, to bad there wasn't a sequel, but I'm also kind of glad of it).

 

[Kinitawowi]

Guitar Hero.

YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

 

[Rad Party God]

Spoiler: Snip.

Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.

Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].

If you got the "true" ending you'll find out that Mantorok is the most [evil thing] of all the [evil thing]s in that game because

Spoiler

it's revealed at the end that he was manipulating everything so that every time you replayed the game to defeat the alternate gods who's story you didn't play the first time you were actually playing an alternate universe version of what happened at the same time as when you first started playing, meaning that in every parallel timeline they all killed each other and therefore cancel each other out. He simply combined all the timelines together and took over because, without them, he was able to reach his full power and bring on the Eternal Darkness that everyone was hinting at throughout the game (or at least that;s what was hinted at, to bad there wasn't a sequel, but I'm also kind of glad of it).

Ohhhh... then I understood it wrong all these years. Granted, it's been a LOOONG time since the last time I played Eternal Darkness, I got the 4th ending and I understood that:

Spoiler

He manipulated everything from the shadows and I understood that he tricked the other gods into killing each other, but I didn't know he did that to take over, I though he did that so that he could exact revenge from what they did to him, so that he could die knowing he exacted revenge into them.

So yeah, that adds another layer into it's already awesome layer heavy and complex story of Eternal Darkness.

 

[LazyAza]

Ironically this is so silly I'd actually play it. haha Oh if only more games were self away of industry cliches, so much comedy could be had.

 

[Eric the Orange]

snip

Chibi Erin has some crazy thighs.

EDIT:er, claves, that's the lower part of the leg, right, ahem

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Bonus points for making the protagonist a generic-looking, white, brown-haired military guy who is apparently incapable of forming any facial expression other than a scowl.

I mean, hell, say what you will about Duke Nukem- at least he can smile.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

But really, when was the last time someone hung the love interest over a tub of acid?

Spoiler: Oh wait...

Well if anything it's at least a story that's easy to follow.

 

[Kaymish]

i liked [SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST] dress was weird she was falling out of it at then end and gees spoiler alert is suppose to go at the START of the comic/post/thread/video

 

[Vault101]

ITT: people who do not understand hyperbole or comedy.

Though it seems there's an at least 80% chance that the people who miss hyperbole will then attempt their own.

please explain the joke because I dont get it

 

[Tiger Sora]

Ohh no, the fumes are making her breasts bigger said no straight man ever.

Now I must go beat some unimaginative bosses in wow.

 

[Darth_Payn]

I don't believe this is like every game ever; it's too colorful. Nothings washed out to look gray/brown!
nice job on [support character/love interest]'s funbags, though.

 

[Hexenwolf]

Were you thinking of Borderlands 2 when you wrote this?

 

[Andy Shandy]

That is just fantastic.

I shall need to find excuses to use this around the forums.

In fact, you should make it your avatar.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I'd mention that lately, the Formulaic Game Recipe has started to include Aesops. Like "Transhumanism makes us question our nature as humans" (Deus Ex: Human Revolution) or "Humans will do cray-cray stuff to other humans in the name of survival. Innit deep?" (FarCry 3).

Or you could go CryTek's route and not bother. "It's the Ceph's fault. Whatever it is, no matter if it makes sense or not, it's the Ceph's fault and the Nanosuit's involved. Also, boo, PMC's and global megacorps!"

 

[BX3]

Saw boobs. Clicked.

IS THAT YOU PLAN ALL ALONG, GREY AND CORY?! DON'T LIE TO ME! WHAT'S YOUR END GAME?!?

 

[Mocmocman]

[pop culture reference]

[Witty retort]

[Third party jumping in with unhelpful, antagonistic statement]

[Long worded retort explaining why third party is wrong, unintentionally restating third party's statements.]

[Copy-paste of funny Captcha]

 

[triggrhappy94]

Two things:

[X] < 6 hours--in most AAA games
and
Where are the Russians? You can't have a every game template without Russians.

 

[JEBWrench]

I would probably play the Hell out of a game like that.

*sigh* Duke Nukem Forever, what might've been.

It's just a cheap shot, made by snooty and aloof hipsters who think it makes them the God of Satire, when in fact it just shows that they don't know how writing works.

Gods of satire, surely. And you think we don't know how writing works.

Thus the boob embiggening!

 

[knight steel]

You know if I had posted that I would have received a low content warning and would have gained another bar.........I guess be a contributor comes with unfair perks T_T.

 

[garjian]

But... you forgot the part where you get sent off on a tangent to collect the [PLOT VOUCHER].