Every Game Ever

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The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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NinjaDeathSlap said:
It's just a cheap shot, made by snooty and aloof hipsters who think it makes them the God of Satire, when in fact it just shows that they don't know how writing works.
Gods of satire, surely. And you think we don't know how writing works. :)
 

oldtaku

New member
Jan 7, 2011
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Optional: [Antagonist] beats [Hero] early on and has [Hero] at his mercy but lets him live.
 

Wolfram23

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Mar 23, 2004
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Uratoh said:
OMG Spoilers! Bad Erin! I was just about to play [Game]!
Dead Space 3 was ok, but since you know the plot you can just skip to the next [game].
 

Twilight_guy

Sight, Sound, and Mind
Nov 24, 2008
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No, that's not true. If you want every game ever then try the hero's journey. It applies for all stories, even those in games. (of course this does oddly describe every cheesy 80s action movie...)
 

Frostbite3789

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Jul 12, 2010
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erttheking said:
Oh yeah, I totally remember that happening in...actually when WAS the last time that happened? Can't remember it happening in any games I've played this year and last year.

Yeah I'm gonna be that guy and say this is not really that funny or accurate.
Whoa hey. We don't need your kind with your 'logic' breaking up the hipster circle jerk buddy!
 

Quadocky

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Aug 30, 2012
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I think it is funny but at the same time a bit inaccurate by modern game standards. Modern games are basically like that comic except instead of trying to rescue someone with a happy ending at the end the world gets screwed up and everyone dies. Yay.
 

thetoddo

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May 18, 2010
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Oddly I didn't notice the breasts, I was distracted by the "BLARGH! I AM LARGE AND UNIMAGINATIVE!" bit. I've been giggling all day over that.

Capcha: Wax to go
Indeed Capcha... Indeed.
 

Quadocky

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Aug 30, 2012
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Twilight_guy said:
No, that's not true. If you want every game ever then try the hero's journey. It applies for all stories, even those in games. (of course this does oddly describe every cheesy 80s action movie...)
I never watch action movies, but I had the experience of playing action first person shooter games before watching them. I can definitely see how action movies inspired the creation of First Person Shooter games. (and of course various other genre, like the side scrolling beat em ups and fighting games)

Probably one that really stands out in my mind is Army of Darkness. Almost seems like every Doom like game was inspired by that film.
 

blackrave

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Mar 7, 2012
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The Cheezy One said:
Which is your favourite? The black guy, the sassy action girl who isn't the love interest, or the old man? For me, it's got to be the stereotypical English guy!
Devoneaux said:
My favorite is Asian Hacker Man
Full said:
Hey, don't you rule out Hispanic soldier with troubled past, that's a popular one lately.
Man, so much good choices.
I think I will go with the black brute
Something like this




Second choice would be misanthropic robot (not exactly minority, I know, but cool nonetheless)

 

Gigano

Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?
Oct 15, 2009
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That's some spot on satire right there.

There's just no game that has sufficient breast sizes. Sure, they try to retcon in bigger boobs once this vital flaw becomes apparent, but it just never gets to an acceptable point.
 

Xan Krieger

Completely insane
Feb 11, 2009
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I guess I kinda feel left out of this one because I play mostly strategy games like the Total War series where the big bad thing ends up being you as you conquer, rape, and pillage every last square mile of land.
 

k-ossuburb

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Jul 31, 2009
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Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
 

hazydawn

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Jan 11, 2013
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Awww that's exagerrating way too much. Some people argue that everything whe produce today is not original and based on already existing things but I don't believe that... and why must original mean starting from zero with no reference to already existing things anyway? It's true that most stories show story archetypes or a combination of those. But you're making it look like there's only one of these archetypes. The headline should have been like... I dunno... 70% of games ever. It just doesn't feel as funny to me with this much exaggeration. Yeah I know exaggeration is commonly used to create a humerous effects, but I think you can go overboard with it.
 

Rad Party God

Party like it's 2010!
Feb 23, 2010
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Dead Space 3 fits these tropes pretty nicely, almost word for word, seriously, how come someone with a little common sense could wear such cleavage in the middle of a necromorph infestation?, especially after explicitly having experienced one before and barely making it out alive the last time and knowing ahead she WILL be working on a planet full of them. But dat cleavage...
 

Rad Party God

Party like it's 2010!
Feb 23, 2010
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k-ossuburb said:
Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].