Every Game Ever

[Andrew Andrew]

fucking, LOVE the chubby scientist.

 

[wetfart]

I feel that this comic truly captured the essence of Ernie's Magic Shapes.

 

[shrekfan246]

Some developers have specialized variations on that comic. For instance, Bioware has "You are the [chosen one], and only you can save the [variable scale landmass] from the [supernatural fuckwits]! But first you must find [in-universe jargon for "flag state toggles"] by doing inane sidequests in these [three/four] locations!"

When Dragon Age 3 comes out, see if you can fill out all the boxes. I'll bet you can.

That's funny, because Dragon Age 2 didn't follow that formula much at all. And it's the one everybody hated. Think about it.

To be fair, it still had:
"You are the [Champion of Kirkwall], and only you can save [Kirkwall] from the [... various bad things that aren't really connected to each other]!"

It was a little more subtle in the game itself, but still built up Hawke as sort of a lesser version of "the chosen one". But I liked that Bioware tried to step out of their narrative comfort zone. They stumbled pretty hard, possibly due to a much shorter development cycle than Origins had, but they still tried.

 

[Mistilteinn]

I'm surprised none of you have noticed the tag on the comic: "Conveniently placed breasts to bolster our reader numbers." =P

 

[TheVampwizimp_v1legacy]

Some developers have specialized variations on that comic. For instance, Bioware has "You are the [chosen one], and only you can save the [variable scale landmass] from the [supernatural fuckwits]! But first you must find [in-universe jargon for "flag state toggles"] by doing inane sidequests in these [three/four] locations!"

When Dragon Age 3 comes out, see if you can fill out all the boxes. I'll bet you can.

That's funny, because Dragon Age 2 didn't follow that formula much at all. And it's the one everybody hated. Think about it.

I've long argued that Dragon Age 2 was the best game Bioware has attempted since KOTOR. They didn't succeed due to a short dev cycle and lazy resource recycling, but the core idea of the game was the most thought that Bioware has put into a game in years.

I will give them that. And I don't even dislike DA2, despite the clear presence of executive interference. In fact, it may have been that very influence from EA that both set it on a new and interesting path and tripped it up at every hurdle. It's a sad tale of squandered potential from a promising first entry, as well as a good follow-up idea screwed by bad implementation. Not that it's even a bad game, I'm speaking for the general feeling people express toward the game.

 

[The Wooster]

ONLY YOU CAN SAVE VIDEOGAMES FROM THE SATIRISTS!

 

[GameChanger]

Oh so THAT is the plot to Limbo! Took me ages to figure out!

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Remember to hit the [Evil Thing] in it's glowing [Weak Spot]

 

[The Wooster]

It's just a cheap shot, made by snooty and aloof hipsters who think it makes them the God of Satire, when in fact it just shows that they don't know how writing works.

Gods of satire, surely. And you think we don't know how writing works.

 

[oldtaku]

Optional: [Antagonist] beats [Hero] early on and has [Hero] at his mercy but lets him live.

 

[Wolfram23]

OMG Spoilers! Bad Erin! I was just about to play [Game]!

Dead Space 3 was ok, but since you know the plot you can just skip to the next [game].

 

[Twilight_guy]

No, that's not true. If you want every game ever then try the hero's journey. It applies for all stories, even those in games. (of course this does oddly describe every cheesy 80s action movie...)

 

[Frostbite3789]

Oh yeah, I totally remember that happening in...actually when WAS the last time that happened? Can't remember it happening in any games I've played this year and last year.

Yeah I'm gonna be that guy and say this is not really that funny or accurate.

Whoa hey. We don't need your kind with your 'logic' breaking up the hipster circle jerk buddy!

 

[Quadocky]

I think it is funny but at the same time a bit inaccurate by modern game standards. Modern games are basically like that comic except instead of trying to rescue someone with a happy ending at the end the world gets screwed up and everyone dies. Yay.

 

[thetoddo]

Oddly I didn't notice the breasts, I was distracted by the "BLARGH! I AM LARGE AND UNIMAGINATIVE!" bit. I've been giggling all day over that.

Capcha: Wax to go
Indeed Capcha... Indeed.

 

[Quadocky]

No, that's not true. If you want every game ever then try the hero's journey. It applies for all stories, even those in games. (of course this does oddly describe every cheesy 80s action movie...)

I never watch action movies, but I had the experience of playing action first person shooter games before watching them. I can definitely see how action movies inspired the creation of First Person Shooter games. (and of course various other genre, like the side scrolling beat em ups and fighting games)

Probably one that really stands out in my mind is Army of Darkness. Almost seems like every Doom like game was inspired by that film.

 

[blackrave]

Which is your favourite? The black guy, the sassy action girl who isn't the love interest, or the old man? For me, it's got to be the stereotypical English guy!

My favorite is Asian Hacker Man

Hey, don't you rule out Hispanic soldier with troubled past, that's a popular one lately.

Man, so much good choices.
I think I will go with the black brute
Something like this

Second choice would be misanthropic robot (not exactly minority, I know, but cool nonetheless)

 

[Gigano]

That's some spot on satire right there.

There's just no game that has sufficient breast sizes. Sure, they try to retcon in bigger boobs once this vital flaw becomes apparent, but it just never gets to an acceptable point.

 

[The Wooster]