I get really, really, really pissed about people when you tell them that you think they're a great person and they'll definitely find someone, and they're like "and yet you're not dating me" like we owe it to them.
Listen, I'm not going to date all the people I think are great and worthy of love. And most of all, I don't date someone I'm not in love with. And if you love me and I don't love you, it sucks, I know, I've done unrequited love, I've been rejected almost every time I asked a guy out and I can only remember being asked out once (because somehow it makes more sense to complain you don't have a girlfriend and whine until someone pities you than actually ask them out, apparently).
But if I don't love you, well I owe you nothing. Either you were my friend out of friendship and you got what you gave because we're friends, so I don't owe you more than that, or you were my friend because you wanted a relationship and you're a big manipulative jerk and I want nothing to do with you.
What gets to me the most is a friend of mine who posted on facebook (right after a breakup) "It's insulting how all my female friends tell me I'll find someone else... with the implication that it won't be them". Well, I say it's insulting when you obviously just want someone, anyone, and are insulted by every single person who isn't interested in you. I mean is everyone who tries to comfort you supposed to want to date you? Can they really expect you to be looking for someone when you just broke up?
If a person doesn't date you, it's not because you've been "friend zoned" and it's not because "nice guys finish last". I'm sorry, it's easy to tell yourselves these things, I know, because it makes it feel like you're the "good guy" and the other person is just shallow and doesn't see how worthy you are. But it's BS. They're not interested in you because they aren't. Do you know how often I've wished I could be in love with a good friend? You don't control it. And when it's your friend and they have feelings for you, even if it would be safe to be with them, even if they'd be good to you and you can trust them and already know them, it's still a shitty thing to do to date them when you're not actually interested. As much as you tell yourself you might develop feelings for them while dating them, you know you already would have developed them being around them as a friend, and it's not worth the risk of hurting someone you love so much.
So before you complain that life is unfair, try to think about that a little bit. These girls won't date you because they aren't manipulative jerks who want to toy with your feelings. They respect you enough to reject you honestly. Just accept it. You don't have to stop loving someone just because you can't be with them. If you care so much about them, don't you want them to be happy?
Anyway. The only people I've ever dated were my friends first. Yet most of my male friends I haven't dated. That's not because there is a magical friend zone. That's because I don't develop feelings for every guy ever. Being friends is required, sure, but it's by no means enough. It doesn't give you a pass for anything else. It's extremely arrogant to think otherwise.
