Generally Accepted Gaming Facts

[Dr Snakeman]

Holy crap I can't believe I'm the first one to post this!!

no, no, you are not

How do you figure? No one else said that before him.


A few truths of gaming? Alright:
Bioware rocks, they make the best RPGs. We all hate Ubisoft, yet will continue to buy their games because it's just so damn fun to murder our way through history.

The Fallout franchise is lovably weird, politicians will blame games for violent behavior, and I Wanna Be The Guy is impossible.

 

[nuba km]

Holy crap I can't believe I'm the first one to post this!!

no, no, you are not

How do you figure? No one else said that before him.


A few truths of gaming? Alright:
Bioware rocks, they make the best RPGs. We all hate Ubisoft, yet will continue to buy their games because it's just so damn fun to murder our way through history.

The Fallout franchise is lovably weird, politicians will blame games for violent behavior, and I Wanna Be The Guy is impossible.

yea I figured out that you meant the comment originally I thought you meant you were the first person to comment overall.

 

[sageoftruth]

Scientists + Military/Corporation/Federation = End of the world.

Zynga is evil.

 

[rescuer86]

Whether people like it or not, Halo has made enough money to warrant it's popularity.

So has Michael Bay; that doesn't make either of them any good.

OT: If you buy an RPG from a studio that has an infuriating habit of releasing $400 worth of DLC before the Game of the Year/Ultimate Edition/Super Duper Extreme-o Awesome Edition comes out a year later, you may as well take that $60 and light it on fire then piss on the flames.

Giving someone enough gifts will make them want to bone you.

In any RPG, the grinding blows, but if you wanna have enough money and XP to obtain the super ultimate whammy weapon that you can use once, you gotta spend 30 hours doing other people's jobs.

 

[Cutter9792]

Yahtzee always makes a good point.
Treyarch Call of Duty games are never as good as Infinity Ward ones.
Motion controls are useless without force feedback.
Motion controls are useless without good games to play.
Even though they shouldn't for several flowcharts worth of reasons, kids under 17 will be playing M-Rated games. And they will be annoying.
Paying for online games sucks.
Free-to-play is good (look at LOTRO).
Extra Credits is always right.
Quick Time Events suck.
Action and storytelling in games gets BETTER when people you care about are in the fight.
Chris Redfield's biceps have their own gravity.
Lara Croft's chesticles are their own solar system.
Peter Molyneux needs to STFU.

 

[TheMariner]

pokemon is improving with every generation but even if the tenth generation could cure cancer people would say that it's worse then the first and/or the second generation.

That has a lot to do with the designs of the pokemon themselves. Whether or not storyline, characterization, game mechanics, etc have gotten better or not, the pokemon from generations 1&2 simply look like they had more thought put into them.

OT: -- The mysterious swordsman you meet is likely your father.
-- If you wake up in a small town in the middle of nowhere with no intentions of greatness, saddle up mate, you're going to save the world.
-- Photo-realistic graphics are no substitute for good storyline and characterization.
-- Innovation is never bad.
-- Combat has no place in survival horror.

 

[Recron]

and Nintendo will release no less than 4 versions of each of their hand held consoles

Haven't Sony done the same with the PSP?

yeah but I cant really call them out on it since the PSP is their first hand held console, maybe if the PSP 2 had 4 slightly upgraded versions, I'l come back and edit my post.

also here is one more for the list
the PSP was design around style and not comfort and playing it increases your chances of getting RSI by 56.091123%...give or take

 

[Mike Laserbeam]

The eyes of every soldier are equipped with grenade and pain sensing technology.

If you see it, and it looks more evil than anything else, you WILL kill it.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Games will always seem better if they're from 10+ years ago, if only because of nostalgia when older gamers say 'Back before <insert new peripheral/console/trend>....'

I do have to disagree with this it is not always true. I played the Prince of Persia remake for 360 and this is the first PoP game I have ever played and found it to be crap. I got the older ones off Steam and they are a billion times better so sometimes it is not always nostalgia.

So you are saying that 'Back before the 360, Prince of Persia games were better?'. Not exactly a disagreement.

But I'm guessing if the first PoP (One of the most widely distributed and successful game series ever) was on the 360 you don't get to qualify for 'older gamer' title just yet ;P

Well it was a reboot of the PS2 ones I think not sure I am not that into the series. Although I don't know if I would qualify for older gamer as I've only been going for 15 years but anyway ye sometimes it isn't just nastalgia but it can be a lot of the time.

Ooooohhh .. .I get you now o.o

Yeah sometimes it's not, but by the same token I think all gamers appreciate modern graphics and technologies that serve to create a visual environment in greater detail than of classic adventure games like SpaceQuest ;P

Don't get me wrong .. .SQ series was awesome ... but if they were to revamp the setting, characters and quirkyness it would be win. But I doubt games like SQ would survive in the crazy PC world we now occupy.

Yes I do see what you are saying as well but sometime it is nice to go a bit retro every now and then.

 

[EverydayHeretic]

Left is almost always the correct direction to travel.

That one item you really need will only drop when you've stopped thinking/caring about it.

It's still going to be about 10 years before people realize that clever art direction is more valuable than pretty graphics.

I don't understand your first one. You go right in every 2D side scroller I've ever played. When is left the right way to go? What games?

Totally agree with the last one though.

Er, I sorta meant in RPG dungeons, overworld maps, and most action games. Whenever I see a branching path, left will always either take me to A) the way I needed to go, or B) the treasure I was looking for. I can't remember a game I played where that didn't happen.

 

[Baldry]

Red guys always means they are the enemy...Which is why people go for the Russians because they used to be communist...and the flag was red...Wait only half of that was right...Am I onto some sort of conspiracy about why Russia is often the enemy...Or just paranoid?

 

[lacktheknack]

Game haters and fans are schizophrenic.

Real horror will never outsell cheap jump scares.

The greatest anti-gaming entity is the gaming community.

 

[MercenaryCanary]

1. If Russians are in it, they are bad.

2. If they are not bad they are the most morally grey protagonists.

3. The only time they are given the second option is when Nazis are involved.

http://www.wizeercont.ru/uploads/posts/2482161962_stalker_clear_sky_npc_renderings-1.jpg

I'd like to have a word with you.

World of Warcraft will always have thousands of players.

People will complain if their game series in changed in a way they don't like.

If you are Dr. Freeman, you will be reminded continuously to reload a fresh magazine.

Everyone will call a magazine a clip.

 

[Crazycat690]

Hiding behind cover waiting for your health to recharge is more realistic than having health packs.

America is always the good guys, and the nobel underdogs in the fight.

No matter how good a console game looks, PC is always far superior.

Nintendo will never make anything new.

 

[lacktheknack]

Lara Croft's chesticles are their own solar system.

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Daily/2010/12-Dec/09/Lara%20Croft%20detailed/120910_laracroft_content--article_image.jpg

I'm happy they're breaking this rule. Not only does Lara Croft now actually look like people I know, I'll also never get killed by big steel arrows through the nipples again.

 

[k-ossuburb]

There's no such thing as "too many guns".

It's a bad sign if things are "too quiet".

Contrary to common sense: following a trail of blood and bodies means you're going in the right direction.

Even though you can't talk, people will understand everything you say.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

-Last boss? Pleases fool, there is yet a last last boss to defeat!
-It?s a trap and you will lose your weapons but conveniently they will be in a nice place for you to pick them up.
-Everything is trying to kill you.
-Cut scenes steel the fun that should have rightfully been yours.
-Need magic? Here have some bombs. Nearly out of arrows? Have all the pieces of currency you might ever need. Oh what is that, your purse is full? Too bad.
-It is but a flesh wound.
-Health restoring items are plentiful and sometimes floor food.
-Imposable to defeat enemies? A good possibility you?re supposed to fail, it might even just be a dream.
-Locked door in somebody?s home? Ridicules, impractical, unlocking mechanism to figure out.
-The evil villains will look unmistakably evil and villainous.

 

[ReaperzXIII]

You will go throughout the entire game thinking "I need to save that item until it is really necessary" and realize you never actually needed it.

You hear the screaming or eerie music? RUN!! RUN FAST!!! DO NOT TURN BACK!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY ARE YOU STILL GOING FORWARD?! Welcome to the bosses's dungeon his name is Mr. Rapeyourface and has millions of litte Rapeyourface minions.

If you are allowed to customize your name, at least one person's name will be a phallic reference

Everyone on XBL has apparently fucked your mom at least once

A game with good gameplay is apparently really bad if its story is only mediocre

If you have a dark side you will by the end of the game: been screwed over by that dark side/have to fight that dark side/come to peace with your dark side/have control over your dark side/have you dark side sealed away.

You will never be able to keep your NUKE IT FIRE I AM THOR DESTROYER OF WORLDS ability, something will happen to it most likely you harm someone close to you.

Everything and anything useful that exists belongs to you

 

[PixelKing]

Half the "main" Fallout games are glitched to F***

 

[PeePantz]

Although lava may just hurt you and drain a little life from you, water will insta-kill you. Unless there's a level specifically designed for swimming, water is the most dangerous ninja in all of existence.