KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
A lot of terms also cover a surprising amount overlap, in it's own way it can be amazingly inclusive even if you look at people who are cis. By that I mean most cisgender people have, to some extent, a kind of personal gender fluidity, at least in my experience, they may not identify as any type of trans, but I've never really met anyone who strictly followed all the social concepts of their birth gender. I also find that transgenderism for all it's flaws and mistreatment is also very liberating, as trans I'm free to define my self.
Oh yeah! I mean ... well. I think the difference remains in directive of agency. If there is one big criticism of Kierkegaard that I have when it comes to and otherwise pretty good example of the existential crisis that one has when pursuing the idea of transition. Moving from a state that produces despair into one that does not, is that it necessarily has to follow the will of the actor as opposed to perhaps experimentation by the actor. I still place faith on experimentation to begin with if you have questions relative to self. Primarily because there's not one ubiquitous despair that impels all counter activity to begin with ... so pretending there is one state by which will alone may achieve, it's better to assume that the self can sometimes not understand it's own passage from despair to liberation of despair.
I think most cis people in the West experiment at one point or another, but for the grand majority this just represents an immersal in tropes and temporary charicatures of manhood or womanhood. When it becomes something that is necessary to alleviate despair, that's kind of when I might ask whether someone might actually be in some way genderqueer.
But yeah, it is liberating. Which is why I place Kierkegaard's central premise of; "It is of ultimate merit to be able to despair..." at the forefront. When operating from this position and platform, we begin to see experimentation of self impelled by a knowledge of divorce from mind and body, or mind from perception of body, as something beyond a simple idea of gender portrayal and aspects of being true to one's gender. Despair is the ultimate transformative agent. WHich is why I sort of challenge the idea that if in an ideal society, merely taking a drug that drugs away being trans is ethically found wanting in merely allowing the self to be transformed by core questions relative to self and self-construction.
I know plenty of trans who have opted for visibility rather than stealth, primarily because just being able to wave a transgender pride flag, or be able to express elements of self freely with others, touches upon the necessity of validation and the pursuit of true connections with other people without having to hold anything back. I'm not saying which path someone should take, and it certainly depends on that what you wish to be your own self, and it is certainly relevant to just how
dangerous it is to be open in your community.
That being said, I operate at a disadvantage towards ever being able to go stealth (Seriously, if you are genderqueer and you manage to juggle two or three (or more) seperate gender expressions without any people mixing up between two or more and people never knowing, you're CIA spy material), and so natural biases arise. I still identify as genderqueer rather than as a trans woman, despite speding most of my time presenting as a woman. I have friends who have met one aspect of me, and others who have met another side of me, and a lot of the time the two rarely intermingle. Which is perhaps why I don't go into facebook or twitter, mainly because I'd probably need to create two accounts.
But at the same time, it's kind of imperative that I'm open with people on both sides of the fence. That being said, I've been thinking more and more about what I would be if I just went full time trans woman and was done with it? It's ... pretty confusing to be honest, so being out helps to say; "Well there's reasons."
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
Sometimes though the overlap can be a little confusing for me on an existential level. For a long while I wasn't exactly where I fell within the spectrum of transgender, despite knowing how I wanted to present and be. Sometimes I still find it hard to accurately place myself fully.
I think all people sort of feel that way. I see it less as a problem, and more a case of artistic expression. Whilst it might hurt to be confused babout what will make you happier, ultimately you wouldn't be you if you never cared in the first place. I See it as a journey more so. But I get where you're coming from. A lot of trans people feelt the same way, which is why I think the overlaps in the gender umbrellas is there a lot of the time.
If I do end up just going full time one way or another, I'll still be trans however, regardless of mst of the stuff before hand. So I think it helps to have overlap. It makes it easier to organise and find other people who your might seek counselling from. Like an older trans person who's been through all that same stuff as you. It's nice ... It's like a collegiate of sororities rather than a singular entity, indivisible. And I take comfort that the philosophies are different, but close enough, to still have the overriding message of liberty of self and self-expression.
But yeah, I for one empathise completely. But from reading other stuff you've posted, you sound way more sure of yourself than I did when I first came out.
