Hitting... Women

[Sean Renaud]

Women are smaller and weaker. Decades of trying to make men and women equals hasn't changed that fact. You don't hit women for the same reason you don't hit little kids, because the little kid can't actually hurt you but you can actually hurt him. Obviously it becomes a judgement call, if said "little kid" is six foot foor and three hundred pounds or said woman is Muhammed Ali's daughter you do what you have to do same as you would vs any man but the reason you don't hit women is because you're a lot more dangerous to them than vice versa.

Now being fair the smaller and weaker people in a civilized society have an obligation not to fuck with people who could break them without effort because the only reason they are walking around unbroken is because the bigger and stronger ALLOW it but once you start getting into that there is a lot of nuance to go into.

 

[RaikuFA]

The only way I will ever hit women is if they are full on attacking me. And that is just to subdue them.

 

[teamcharlie]

My rule on the matter: don't hit people unless you're likely to actually get hurt otherwise. Doesn't matter how many boobs or penises they have, it's not nice to hit anybody but I'd rather have people look at me funny than have broken bones. The best solution though, obviously, is not to get into a situation in which people are trying to kick your ass. Easier to avoid than movies might have you believe.

In terms of the movie: no, it wasn't justified for Leo to hit his wife. Wasn't justified for her to hit him either. They're both kinda dicks.

 

[norashepard]

In the context of the movie, the two hits he delivers (one slap, and one far more serious punch to the gut) aren't against someone who messed with Jordan. There against someone he had already been hurting and neglecting for years. If, during the earlier parts of the movie, while Jordan is still riding high, if Naomi had decided to jump out, he probably would have been more justified in hitting her (although he might want to try to talk first?). But yeah, considering he already put her under investigation, ruined her aunt's funeral, slept with hookers by the boatload, and just all around did not follow through on being a good husband already, the punches he threw were a terrifying smack to punctuate the punishment he had been dishing out the entire film. That's probably why so many people went "oh shit" at that point, and not at earlier points where women were hurt and degraded.

Outside the movie though, I think you're allowed to hit women if they're trying to kill you, but in most other cases, it is often far more helpful and successful to TALK IT OUT. Hitting, to me, seems like a cowards way out. Most women can't defend themselves if a man really does want to hurt them, so it just seems like something you'd only do if you didn't respect the person you were hitting in the first place.

 

[somethingorother003]

Hitting a woman is considered bad because it is. Men have a significant advantage over women in the physical department, and until we're all nano-augmented cyborgs nothing will change that. If a woman hits a man, it's not as serious because an attack with an equivalent amount of effort put in by a man could cause a far greater injury.

Now I'm going to make a very slippery connection and somebody is going to take it out of context and completely miss the point.

If your cat scratches you, is that an appropriate response to punch it? No, it's a cat. If it came down to a fight, you'd win.

Yes, if a woman in savagely attacking a man, he has every right to fight back. But if your girlfriend slaps you in the face in retaliation for something, you don't get to slap her back.

Context is everything here.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

Why do these topics always go from "Is it acceptable to retaliate" to "A 7" body builder shouldnt upper-cut a 5" fragile flower and then pile-drive her into the table".

People are talkin' about a slap, not a full frontal assault because you get slapped.

My anwser: Don't do it - man or woman. It may feel right in the moment, but you'll be the loser later on. If you need to get your anger out kick a door or punch the wall (Don't break your fingers!) to feel better - it usually gets the point across too, but you're doing the correct thing.

Had to resort to this once, was one of the smarter decisions in my life. I'd feel terrible today if i would've retaliated.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Unless it's in a situation where she's going to keep coming at me and I need to defend myself I wouldn't hit a woman. Not really because I value women more than men, just because I'd probably get in legal trouble.

I mean there's a stigma that women are a weaker gender than men. I guess I adhere to that to some extent. Even with no consequences, I would never get physical a woman over anything verbal or to gain an advantage in a situation that I foresee inevitably escalating to physical contact like I would with a man, and I would definitely avoid instigating any type of situation with a woman that would lead to any kind of physical confrontation.

But in a hypothetical scenario where there are no legal consequences and it's left purely to my own morals, in a situation where a woman physically attacked me without being reasonably provoked, I would definitely retaliate. And if I'm being honest, not even one of these morally calculated "well if she slapped me as hard as she could and I can slap harder, I would slap her only as hard as she slapped me" retaliations either. I'd probably straight up throw a punch.

Is it fair? That's debatable but irrelevant. I don't feel any obligation to be fair with anyone who doesn't do me the same courtesy, and on top of that, if someone instigated a confrontation with me, I'd be angry. Being fair would make us even. I wouldn't want that person to come out even with me. I'd want that person to come out feeling like they made a fucking mistake. Especially if they did it with the smug expectation that there would be no retaliation or consequences for their actions.

 

[Browncoat86]

I would like to think I would never strike someone in anger, though it's probably a case of the old "everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face" chestnut. When getting into fights or arguments, my father always taught me to just walk away, that little piece of advice has saved me a world of trouble. I can count on one had the number of times when I was involved in a altercation that got physical, with the more serious of the two not being my fault. (a guy in High School thought I was the guy that had slept with his girlfriend, so he took a swing at my head, overbalanced and fell down a flight of stairs.) The only time where I can see physically assaulting someone as a justifiable action is if my life were in danger.

 

[the December King]

Yes let's all talk about how it's right to hit women considering all the women hospitalized or killed for domestic violence. I'm sure they deserved it when they slapped a man across the face.

I need a drink.

Did the man in question deserve the slap, then? Maybe one shouldn't go around concluding arguments or verbal confrontations by slapping/physically assaulting the other party. Kicking the crap out of the slapper in retaliation is a terrible thing, to be sure, and unacceptable. But walking away from a slap can be very, very hard, if it is given as an argument-ender. The slapper should be reminded that the road of physical assault starts here, and should end there as well-and not necessarily with a counter-slap.

...

What are you having? I'll swill some rum, in the meantime.

 

[loa]

Women don't need special treatment just for being women and hitting anyone is something you should not be doing regardless of gender.
The same goes for women too, they don't have a free pass to slap a man just because they're women especially since it's treated like the worst thing ever if the gender is reversed.

How about we treat all instances of violence as if it was a man doing it to a woman.
Something unacceptable.

 

[the December King]

Yes let's all talk about how it's right to hit women considering all the women hospitalized or killed for domestic violence. I'm sure they deserved it when they slapped a man across the face.

I need a drink.

Did the man in question deserve the slap, then? Maybe one shouldn't go around concluding arguments or verbal confrontations by slapping/physically assaulting the other party. Kicking the crap out of the slapper in retaliation is a terrible thing, to be sure, and unacceptable. But walking away from a slap can be very, very hard, if it is given as an argument-ender. The slapper should be reminded that the road of physical assault starts here, and should end there as well-and not necessarily with a counter-slap.

...

What are you having? I'll swill some rum, in the meantime.

Sorry but are you saying that if you slap someone you deserve to be hospitalized and killed?
Can you maybe rethink that for a bit... and maybe rethink everything you've ever thought.

Wow... I don't think that's what I meant at all. You should calm down- When I said, it won't necessarily end with a counter slap, I meant you should talk it through, and not slap in the first place.

jeez, I guess I'm now wearing your drink, so I'll just mosey off down the bar before you slap me...

 

[Aramis Night]

Yes let's all talk about how it's right to hit women considering all the women hospitalized or killed for domestic violence. I'm sure they deserved it when they slapped a man across the face.

I need a drink.

Did the man in question deserve the slap, then? Maybe one shouldn't go around concluding arguments or verbal confrontations by slapping/physically assaulting the other party. Kicking the crap out of the slapper in retaliation is a terrible thing, to be sure, and unacceptable. But walking away from a slap can be very, very hard, if it is given as an argument-ender. The slapper should be reminded that the road of physical assault starts here, and should end there as well-and not necessarily with a counter-slap.

...

What are you having? I'll swill some rum, in the meantime.

Sorry but are you saying that if you slap someone you deserve to be hospitalized and killed?
Can you maybe rethink that for a bit... and maybe rethink everything you've ever thought.

Wow... I don't think that's what I meant at all. You should calm down- When I said, it won't necessarily end with a counter slap, I meant you should talk it through, and not slap in the first place.

jeez, I guess I'm now wearing your drink, so I'll just mosey off down the bar before you slap me...

Oh c'mon now. Didn't you realize that advocating for a non-violent solution in the face of female violence is akin to advocating for her death?

Don't worry Strawman Mcfallacy, It's obvious your looking for an opposing view to fight and get your righteousness on. I'll be your ...strawman. I would say that a woman who initiates violence should expect to receive violence in kind. I have the odd notion that equality extends to women. If I ran around slapping things that offended me, I would have 2 bloody stumps starting at the shoulder after the first day. But more likely I would expect to eventually get hospitalized, possibly killed. It's a realistic expectation. But I recognize cause and consequence enough to know that if I open the door of physical violence by slapping people, there will be violent physical repercussions. And I would rightfully deserve to get beaten to death for it. I don't care how much you want to minimize the woman's role in that situation. A situation that wouldn't exist in the first place if the slap had never happened. So how about we start with no slapping. Seems like a pretty modest proposal, no?

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

I can't think of a good reason not to if you are of the disposition to hit people who hit you (like myself). On average men are physically stronger than women, but you don't administer the hardest slap you can all the time. You can exercise a bit of restraint.

Basically there's no difference between hitting a woman or a man as far as morals are concerned. Whether to hit or not is another matter.

 

[Dimitriov]

Recently I went to see The Wolf of Wall Street. Easily one of the most hilarious movies I've seen in a long time. I was completely engrossed in the movie until one specific point. It was the scene where Nyomi tells Jordan that she is divorcing him and plans to take the kids. Jordan then reacts as we expect him to and the couple begins to argue. But then Nyomi slaps Jordan. Jordan in turn slaps her and entire audience did a deep *inhale. Immediately, in my mind, I understood what people were bothered by, but I could not comprehend the why. I've been raised from two schools of thought. The first, from my grandmother who gave me explicit directions that if anyone ever messed with me I was allowed to knock them out. The second is from my step-mother who told me I'm allowed to do the same thing, as in the first school, but not with women. I asked her, "why?" She responded "Because I said so". Back then I simply had to accept that answer, but I'm older now.

Now before you go posting this is NOT a debate about whether it is right or wrong to hit women. I don't care about your opinions in that regard since I already know how I feel about the issue. What I'm looking for, explicity might I add, is a reason not to do it. Those of you who deem it wrong please tell me why. I want to know the logic behind this train of thought. Don't simply tell me "Because." Don't tell me about how you personally don't do it. Or how it irks you the wrong way. I'm looking for a logical argument. (And no, just because I wish to hear the reasons behind the second school of thought doesn't mean there is something inherently wrong with the first school.) One thing though, whatever your reason may be, if it does not follow the above requirements or is in any way demeaning to women I will not accept it.

Here's a very reasonable, true and logical reason not to hit a woman if you are a man. If you do so there is a very good chance that another man (or even a group of men) is going to come and beat the shit out of you. Seems like a pretty good reason not to.

Why? Because of cultural conditioning, if you like, but the fact remains.

 

[captainballsack]

If someone escalates an argument by slapping you, you can either exercise restraint or slap them back, it's your choice. If they put their full force behind the slap, you should feel free to do the same. Other than that, I can't think of a situation in which I'd hit someone. Words are usually more fun.

That's about as logical as I can make it, given that hitting someone is not a logical course of action to decide upon in a disagreement.

I disagree, if an eye for an eye was how all ought to live, then we'd be living in a blind world.

If a slap to the face is something you deem morally wrong, how does it make any sense to slap someone for slapping you? By slapping someone for slapping you, you are saying that someone slapping you is something you morally object to. In slapping someone in retaliation to that just shows a complete lack of empathy and an over abundance of narcissism. Are you above your own morality? Or is your sense of morality just an expectation on how others ought to live but not yourself?

It's not justified when they do it first, but it's justified when you do it second?

To me, it's not justified when either of you do it, so if someone slaps me, I reject them in a non-physical way because that is how I believe one ought to deal with a situation such as that. By returning a slap, you're giving them justification.

Obviously, if it is in self-defense, that is a different matter, but there is a very determinable difference between self-defense and retaliation though.

My answer: it's not justified to hit anyone, man or woman, unless in self-defense. If in self-defense, it isn't a matter of ethics, but a matter of survival.

 

[Yan007]

Hitting someone who is weaker than you out of anger is disgusting. It isn't self defense and it isn't justifiable. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If someone is weaker than you, and you have the potential to cause greater harm by hitting them than they you, to hit them is pathetic and wrong. They were wrong to hit you in the first place, and it makes them a bad person. But by retaliating you are automatically worse.

On the other hand, one could argue that hitting someone stronger than you is a demonstration of stupidity, and the pain you'll get back is just retribution.

You don't often see weak men attacking stronger men like women do simply because most women expect to get a free pass or at least assistance if things don't go their way. If a woman slaps me, I'll knock her out.

Edit: The reason why it is much more rare for men to hit women than the other way around is simply because laws and society will have a woman's back and you'll be guilty until proven innocent (and you'll still be guilty anyways).