How do you react to being hit on/checked out?

[miketehmage]

I never notice being checked out... Ever. Usually my female friend tells me if she sees it happen

As for being hit on... Well girls usually don't come up to me and hit me with a line but if I notice they are flirting I think most of the time I'll be friendly, and if I find her attractive ill flirt back.
As for the guy in your post, OP, well his laugh might not have meant what you thought, it's an easy thing to misinterpret. I've had girls react far worse when I've tried to hit on them

 

[Johnny Impact]

To the best of my knowledge, it has never happened.

Frankly, I would question the judgment of any woman who checked me out. I am fifty pounds overweight, paler than a beached whale's belly, dress like a complete loser, and my ears stick out. I also slouch, and walk in an ungainly shuffle. There isn't anything attractive about me.

That's not poor self-confidence, that's an honest appraisal of the situation. Everyone admires a new Corvette. Nobody looks twice at a ten year old hatchback.

 

[chadachada123]

I'm not sexually attracted to older women in the slightest, but I've been hit on a couple of times by them, and usually react with joking shyness. Actually, that's likely how I'd react if hit on by people I was sexually attracted to, too, but in a more flirtatious way.

I'd never be a douche about it, even if I was hit on by a guy or creepy as hell or something else that would be a complete turn-off.

 

[Loop Stricken]

How do you react to being hit on/checked out?

I don't! it doesn't happen!

Haha!

QnQ

 

[Little Woodsman]

As a 46-year old with a kid and currently in a "make-do-until-I-can-get-projects-off-the-ground" job I have
learned to keep a sharp but subtle look-out for girls checking me out.
Seriously it does me a great deal of good when I notice that a little college cutie on the bus has been checking
me out.
I take pleasure in the fact that it happened, remind myself that if she knew my age & other particulars she'd
have *absolutely* no interest, and go on with my day.
Did have a creepy incident with a woman who reeked of marijuana sitting one seat away from me and staring straight
at me with her mouth partly open for the whole time we were both on the bus. I got off two stops before I normally
do and fled.
Also had a the un-nerving experience of calling up an old friend who I had dated a couple of times in High school to
inform her of the death of a mutual old and dear friend, and during the conversation she seemed completely un-phased
by the news of our friend's passing, but kept telling me how she was single again, and would be back in Colorado
soon.

 

[SwimmingRock]

I've been flirted with once in my life and my response was to leave the building. In my defence, the dude was at least 40 years older than me.

That is the full extent of my romantic history. I need a drink now.

 

[Brainpaint]

I panic and change the subject or leave.
It's a defense reflex from some bad stuff that happened to me in my tweens and early teens. I bent over in a tank top when I was eleven and a bunch of sixteen year olds would whistle at me and comment on my cleavage (I was already a C by then). It terrified the hell out of me and that was before the REALLY AWFUL shite some folks did before I'd even turned 13.

If some random dude walked up to me with that face now, I'd still have to stop myself from screaming and running away like a mental patient.

If he GRABBED me, that'd be a whole other story.

 

[mecegirl]

I generally ignore it when I catch people checking me out. The most recent occurrence was at the Home Depot yesterday. The gentleman looked to be in his 60's. Before that it was the usual, a mix of dudes that see me on my walk to work (I live like 10 mins from where I work). I generally ignore them, mostly because I am on my way to work (or on my lunch break). At the most I will return the "Good mornings/ afternoons" and ignore the "Wait a minute /Slow down" because I'm on my way to work. I return their initial greetings because it would seem rude not to return a greeting, but I have to keep from rolling my eyes when they either follow me, or yell after me. One would think that the fact that I was walking somewhere (instead of just chilling out at the bus stop) would be clue #1 that I don't have time to talk. Either way most of the guys that I meet this way are either too rude, or too old, to bother with.



The closest thing to a positive checking out experience in recent days was two weeks ago. It didn't go anywhere because the guy was nine years younger than me (making him three years younger than my little sister and still not old enough to drink in the states.) I did get a chuckle out of it. So did my roommates,who both suggested that since the guy fit into the barely legal range that I should have "hit it and quit it"(Roomie #1's exact words) anyway.

 

[Saelune]

I giggle alot. Its how I react when nervious. My first time kissing a guy was made very difficult by this. Outside of that, maybe ignorance? Id like to think I get hit on more than I do and never realize it, rather than the more likely just not getting hit on.

 

[Mikeyfell]

Usually by waking up

OOOOOOH Self burn! Take that me!

Yeah, I don't get hit on, mostly because I avoid situations that might lead to human contact.

I'm also just... how do I put this tactfully... Ugly as fuck.
So anyone who would hit on me probably wants my kidneys

 

[The Diabolical Biz]

Most of the time I've been 'hit on' I haven't really reciprocated the sentiment which has just led to an awkward situation (although I appreciate it), and it hasn't happened at all lately due to being in a relationship for about 6 months, followed by a relatively low key breakup which has resulted in most people not even realising that I'm out of it. Which kinda sucks but hey, life goes on.

So in answer to your question, I'm not really sure. If I find them attractive I suppose I flirt back usually. Is that shallow?

 

[Jux]

Hmm. I'm pretty bad at picking up on social cues directed at me (I seem to do just fine at spotting them as a 3rd party, go figure), so unless it was very overt, I suppose I wouldn't react at all. If I did manage to pick up on it though, I would probably just smile, maybe wink or flirt back if I found the person attractive.

 

[Tahaneira]

Provided I even realize it's happening? Seriously, most of the times that I've been hit on, I was only aware of the fact after my friends stopped laughing and told me. Part of the Aspie thing.

Anyways, if I realize what's going on while the act is in progress, I get extremely awkward. Yes, I have little to no self-confidence. Or at least had. Once I actually got a girlfriend, I usually try to ignore it or play it off as casual conversation. If they actually seem to expect to get anywhere, I try to find a way to casually mention my girlfriend. It's saved me much awkwardness over the years.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Do people in this thread just have no self-confidence, or?

We're just all ugly and have gone through school with all the other kids making fun of us and calling us ugly every day. Or at least that's my story. It sticks with you the rest of your life and you'll never have self confidence from that point on. But words don't hurt, apparently.

If you've been asked out randomly in the street then you're probably pretty attractive and I don't think you fully appreciate how hard it is to live being ugly.

Well, I had pretty low self-esteem in secondary school and was bullied by a couple of guys for quite a while.
For ages, I thought I was the ugliest thing in the world but then I just kind of got over it.

I've had more male attention since then and I obviously don't look much different seeing as I haven't had plastic surgery. The only thing that drastically changed is the way I feel about myself and the way I carry myself.
Well, my hair is much nicer now!

 

[Headsprouter]

I've been watched/stared at, before and I'd look away the instant eye contact was made. I tend to attract interest from shy types, so I don't think I've ever been flirted with. That's when it comes to women.

As for with men, being a heterosexual male, I don't respond particularly positively, but I respond in a flattered way to flirting. As for being checked out, pretty sure it's never happened, or maybe I just don't keep my eye on men enough to notice it.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

Interesting. As a middle-aged guy I appreciate any checking-out or flirtation that comes my way, partially because I'm hyper aware that I'm not as young and sexy as I was when I was in my mid-to-late twenties, which seems to be the age range when everyone wants to fuck everybody. Granted, when I was in my late teens, every guy on Castro wanted my succulent flesh, and it was kinda creepy. So it goes. It's been a long time since someone's actually hit on me per se; I get invited to the occasional outing or cafe hang or whatever, which is a half-way point.

According to one of my best friends, far more women than I am aware are checking me out. Possibly because they're fairly discreet, possibly because I'm just not that observant. Similarly, when I'm checking out someone significantly younger than I am, I tend to be restrained about it, as to not creep anyone out.

Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known...

I still can't believe anyone would seriously find a fat troll like me attractive...

Considering that I have close friends with body dysmorphia I feel compelled to make disclaimers when I see comments such as these. Human beings are attracted to health. Unless you are so heavy as to be (or appear) in morbid danger of diabetes or a coronary, you're attractive enough to get checked out (and not just by fat fetishists). Unless you have some very evident physical problems (missing an eye, an untreated soft palette, severe eczema, burn scars, rotting flesh) you're not hideous enough to be out of the dating pool. Granted, your odds are going to improve if you're well groomed. Granted also, our society and media has taught us that women are supposed to look like playboy playmates (and men are supposed to be metrosexual and wealthy enough, by assets or employment, to be a family provider) but anyone who can't get past stereotypes isn't worth the effort anyway. Human beings are not as attractive as Hollywood actors.

Of course, if you're a total jackass and treat everyone around you with contempt (or angry all the time, or constantly grieving, or have no empathy for others, or trying to sell people on your pyramid scheme) then yeah, no matter how pretty you are, no one is going to want to date you. That's a matter of being antisocial. I've encountered model-material knockouts who had no love life because no-one around them could tolerate them for ten minutes.

As a straight man if you hit on me and you had a 1968 corvette stingray id drop my pants

Careful what you promise. I'm sure there are a few gentlemen in these parts (San Francisco) that do have a 60s era Stingray and would love to show a straight man the joys of not-so-straight love.

238U

 

[Naeras]

I've never been approached outside of a social setting(like, say, on the street or in a shop), and if that ever happened I'd probably think they were joking.

In a social setting, like in a pub, at a party or similarly, I get hit on every now and then. Not very directly, but the kind of "hey, we're having a nice conversation and I'm dropping semi-subtle hints that can be interpreted as interest". Back when I was single that often led to something, but nowadays I tend to just mention that I have a girlfriend at some point. Which thus far has defused the situation without ruining the conversation.

 

[Simon Pettersson]

I don't know ... Never happens so.
But I think I would be flattered.

 

[DragonStorm247]

Generally flattered. Obviously I am more pleased if it is someone I mutually find attractive, but my ego manages to have a field day regardless.

 

[Wintermute_v1legacy]

I'm a shy guy, I hardly ever approach other people, the people that I know were to ones who approached me, in fact. But I've been told on numerous occasions that I'm an attractive man, and that the fact that I'm shy doesn't really work against me. In reality, in my case being shy is an endearing quality, apparently. Some women have told me what they talk about when I'm the subject of their conversations, and most of them seem to agree that there's something about my "aura of mystery" and that makes them curious.

My usual reaction is a smile and a "What? How could anyone be interested in me?"