How do you react to being hit on/checked out?

[Headsprouter]

I've been watched/stared at, before and I'd look away the instant eye contact was made. I tend to attract interest from shy types, so I don't think I've ever been flirted with. That's when it comes to women.

As for with men, being a heterosexual male, I don't respond particularly positively, but I respond in a flattered way to flirting. As for being checked out, pretty sure it's never happened, or maybe I just don't keep my eye on men enough to notice it.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

Interesting. As a middle-aged guy I appreciate any checking-out or flirtation that comes my way, partially because I'm hyper aware that I'm not as young and sexy as I was when I was in my mid-to-late twenties, which seems to be the age range when everyone wants to fuck everybody. Granted, when I was in my late teens, every guy on Castro wanted my succulent flesh, and it was kinda creepy. So it goes. It's been a long time since someone's actually hit on me per se; I get invited to the occasional outing or cafe hang or whatever, which is a half-way point.

According to one of my best friends, far more women than I am aware are checking me out. Possibly because they're fairly discreet, possibly because I'm just not that observant. Similarly, when I'm checking out someone significantly younger than I am, I tend to be restrained about it, as to not creep anyone out.

Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known...

I still can't believe anyone would seriously find a fat troll like me attractive...

Considering that I have close friends with body dysmorphia I feel compelled to make disclaimers when I see comments such as these. Human beings are attracted to health. Unless you are so heavy as to be (or appear) in morbid danger of diabetes or a coronary, you're attractive enough to get checked out (and not just by fat fetishists). Unless you have some very evident physical problems (missing an eye, an untreated soft palette, severe eczema, burn scars, rotting flesh) you're not hideous enough to be out of the dating pool. Granted, your odds are going to improve if you're well groomed. Granted also, our society and media has taught us that women are supposed to look like playboy playmates (and men are supposed to be metrosexual and wealthy enough, by assets or employment, to be a family provider) but anyone who can't get past stereotypes isn't worth the effort anyway. Human beings are not as attractive as Hollywood actors.

Of course, if you're a total jackass and treat everyone around you with contempt (or angry all the time, or constantly grieving, or have no empathy for others, or trying to sell people on your pyramid scheme) then yeah, no matter how pretty you are, no one is going to want to date you. That's a matter of being antisocial. I've encountered model-material knockouts who had no love life because no-one around them could tolerate them for ten minutes.

As a straight man if you hit on me and you had a 1968 corvette stingray id drop my pants

Careful what you promise. I'm sure there are a few gentlemen in these parts (San Francisco) that do have a 60s era Stingray and would love to show a straight man the joys of not-so-straight love.

238U

 

[Naeras]

I've never been approached outside of a social setting(like, say, on the street or in a shop), and if that ever happened I'd probably think they were joking.

In a social setting, like in a pub, at a party or similarly, I get hit on every now and then. Not very directly, but the kind of "hey, we're having a nice conversation and I'm dropping semi-subtle hints that can be interpreted as interest". Back when I was single that often led to something, but nowadays I tend to just mention that I have a girlfriend at some point. Which thus far has defused the situation without ruining the conversation.

 

[Simon Pettersson]

I don't know ... Never happens so.
But I think I would be flattered.

 

[DragonStorm247]

Generally flattered. Obviously I am more pleased if it is someone I mutually find attractive, but my ego manages to have a field day regardless.

 

[Wintermute_v1legacy]

I'm a shy guy, I hardly ever approach other people, the people that I know were to ones who approached me, in fact. But I've been told on numerous occasions that I'm an attractive man, and that the fact that I'm shy doesn't really work against me. In reality, in my case being shy is an endearing quality, apparently. Some women have told me what they talk about when I'm the subject of their conversations, and most of them seem to agree that there's something about my "aura of mystery" and that makes them curious.

My usual reaction is a smile and a "What? How could anyone be interested in me?"

 

[Kirke]

Snip

Bit of unasked for advice, just say the hell with the fear and go for it. I know that sounds much easier to say than it actually is, but more times than not I've seen people come out of that situation happier than they would have been if they just stayed quiet. You may not even have a chance in hell with the chick (stick with me here), but life is much easier down the road if:

A: You don't have a bunch of should have, could have, would haves running about in your mind

and

B: You gain some social confidence to help you in situations like this down the road.


Edit: Also a word to the Captcha, How in the bloody hell am I supposed to know if it is actually Grant in Grant's Tomb or some other bloke. For all I know it could be Sandra D.

I've already said that I am in love with her, albeit indirectly. But I am not interested in a relationship, no matter what nonsense my feelings spout. It is of course not that easy to get rid of it, but I feel I am making good progress. I've already learned to control my other feelings, and I see no reason this should be different.

 

[Zaeseled]

I happens quite a lot, and I react the same way each time. I laugh it off, get embarrassed and confused and walk away. Cause I'm bad at stuff like that.

 

[Starik20X6]

I feel flattered, and respond in kind if the situation calls for it. At the moment, that response is an "I'm taken".

Unfortunately, there's also an alarming trend where the majority of girls who check me out are jailbait. Either I'm inexplicably attractive to young girls, or I look younger than I am.

 

[Bertylicious]

I would go red and be all "Victor Hugo once got so mad that he threw a baseball through a dog" then make excuses that I had to attend a lecture in a nearby town.

Then I'd get all debonair and say the lecture is on kisses and ask if she would like to be a guest speaker.

 

[Angie7F]

Usually i am grateful for any attention I get since that is why I get up in the morning and take hours to look presentable.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Hey there handsom. You come here often?

You're a dude, so...

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

Wait...people have started checking me out?

OT: Most of the people who have checked me out have usually turned out to be crazy stalkers, so nowadays I tend to treat every case like that unless proven otherwise.

But that guy sounds like a ****, no one should ever do that.

 

[Bernzz]

I don't react.

Because it doesn't happen.

It's just not a thing people do.

 

[shootthebandit]

Interesting. As a middle-aged guy I appreciate any checking-out or flirtation that comes my way, partially because I'm hyper aware that I'm not as young and sexy as I was when I was in my mid-to-late twenties, which seems to be the age range when everyone wants to fuck everybody. Granted, when I was in my late teens, every guy on Castro wanted my succulent flesh, and it was kinda creepy. So it goes. It's been a long time since someone's actually hit on me per se; I get invited to the occasional outing or cafe hang or whatever, which is a half-way point.

According to one of my best friends, far more women than I am aware are checking me out. Possibly because they're fairly discreet, possibly because I'm just not that observant. Similarly, when I'm checking out someone significantly younger than I am, I tend to be restrained about it, as to not creep anyone out.

Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known...

I still can't believe anyone would seriously find a fat troll like me attractive...

Considering that I have close friends with body dysmorphia I feel compelled to make disclaimers when I see comments such as these. Human beings are attracted to health. Unless you are so heavy as to be (or appear) in morbid danger of diabetes or a coronary, you're attractive enough to get checked out (and not just by fat fetishists). Unless you have some very evident physical problems (missing an eye, an untreated soft palette, severe eczema, burn scars, rotting flesh) you're not hideous enough to be out of the dating pool. Granted, your odds are going to improve if you're well groomed. Granted also, our society and media has taught us that women are supposed to look like playboy playmates (and men are supposed to be metrosexual and wealthy enough, by assets or employment, to be a family provider) but anyone who can't get past stereotypes isn't worth the effort anyway. Human beings are not as attractive as Hollywood actors.

Of course, if you're a total jackass and treat everyone around you with contempt (or angry all the time, or constantly grieving, or have no empathy for others, or trying to sell people on your pyramid scheme) then yeah, no matter how pretty you are, no one is going to want to date you. That's a matter of being antisocial. I've encountered model-material knockouts who had no love life because no-one around them could tolerate them for ten minutes.

As a straight man if you hit on me and you had a 1968 corvette stingray id drop my pants

Careful what you promise. I'm sure there are a few gentlemen in these parts (San Francisco) that do have a 60s era Stingray and would love to show a straight man the joys of not-so-straight love.

238U

Any gay men on here with a 1960s stingray or similar give me a call. Ideally if you are a woman with a 'ray it would be better but beggars cant be choosers

 

[krazykidd]

So I was just out grocery shopping when at the deli counter I ended up waiting my turn behind two rather attractive men. Being a woman with a pulse, I checked them out.

A few isles later I ran into one. I gave him a once over again which he obviously noted, and he laughed. Not an awkward "Oh, she's checking me out, what do I do?" laugh or a "I'm flattered" laugh, but a derisive snort that said "Who does she think she is?". Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known.

I was rather annoyed. Why be annoyed that someone finds you attractive? It's not like I grabbed his shirt and begged him to date me or sleep with me, I was just enjoying looking at him with no expectations whatsoever.

The other guy had given me a nice, warm smile and went on his way. He got it.

If I get hit on or checked out I usually just say thank you and that's that. If I even realise that's what's happening, as it's rather rare for me to be hit on.

So how do you guys handle situations like that?

I wonder why you assumed he laugh because of your weight . I find a lot more people like big girls than big girls realise , which is a shame ( coming from a guy who would never date/sleep with a girl under 250lbs).

OT: I am way too clueless to realise when a girl is hitting on me , and way too shy to actively hit on a girl . Unless she straight up tells me she finds me attractive , i won't know . And i do find myself to be quite attractive . My problem is i cannot talk to women , because i am afraid of rejection . But when women talk to me i beam with confidence . It's how i can still get laid while being socially retarded .

[small] it does pain me to admit that i have missed out on a few women due to being completely clueless[/small]