How do you react to being hit on/checked out?

[Kirke]

Snip

Bit of unasked for advice, just say the hell with the fear and go for it. I know that sounds much easier to say than it actually is, but more times than not I've seen people come out of that situation happier than they would have been if they just stayed quiet. You may not even have a chance in hell with the chick (stick with me here), but life is much easier down the road if:

A: You don't have a bunch of should have, could have, would haves running about in your mind

and

B: You gain some social confidence to help you in situations like this down the road.


Edit: Also a word to the Captcha, How in the bloody hell am I supposed to know if it is actually Grant in Grant's Tomb or some other bloke. For all I know it could be Sandra D.

I've already said that I am in love with her, albeit indirectly. But I am not interested in a relationship, no matter what nonsense my feelings spout. It is of course not that easy to get rid of it, but I feel I am making good progress. I've already learned to control my other feelings, and I see no reason this should be different.

 

[Zaeseled]

I happens quite a lot, and I react the same way each time. I laugh it off, get embarrassed and confused and walk away. Cause I'm bad at stuff like that.

 

[Starik20X6]

I feel flattered, and respond in kind if the situation calls for it. At the moment, that response is an "I'm taken".

Unfortunately, there's also an alarming trend where the majority of girls who check me out are jailbait. Either I'm inexplicably attractive to young girls, or I look younger than I am.

 

[Bertylicious]

I would go red and be all "Victor Hugo once got so mad that he threw a baseball through a dog" then make excuses that I had to attend a lecture in a nearby town.

Then I'd get all debonair and say the lecture is on kisses and ask if she would like to be a guest speaker.

 

[Angie7F]

Usually i am grateful for any attention I get since that is why I get up in the morning and take hours to look presentable.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Hey there handsom. You come here often?

You're a dude, so...

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

Wait...people have started checking me out?

OT: Most of the people who have checked me out have usually turned out to be crazy stalkers, so nowadays I tend to treat every case like that unless proven otherwise.

But that guy sounds like a ****, no one should ever do that.

 

[Bernzz]

I don't react.

Because it doesn't happen.

It's just not a thing people do.

 

[shootthebandit]

Interesting. As a middle-aged guy I appreciate any checking-out or flirtation that comes my way, partially because I'm hyper aware that I'm not as young and sexy as I was when I was in my mid-to-late twenties, which seems to be the age range when everyone wants to fuck everybody. Granted, when I was in my late teens, every guy on Castro wanted my succulent flesh, and it was kinda creepy. So it goes. It's been a long time since someone's actually hit on me per se; I get invited to the occasional outing or cafe hang or whatever, which is a half-way point.

According to one of my best friends, far more women than I am aware are checking me out. Possibly because they're fairly discreet, possibly because I'm just not that observant. Similarly, when I'm checking out someone significantly younger than I am, I tend to be restrained about it, as to not creep anyone out.

Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known...

I still can't believe anyone would seriously find a fat troll like me attractive...

Considering that I have close friends with body dysmorphia I feel compelled to make disclaimers when I see comments such as these. Human beings are attracted to health. Unless you are so heavy as to be (or appear) in morbid danger of diabetes or a coronary, you're attractive enough to get checked out (and not just by fat fetishists). Unless you have some very evident physical problems (missing an eye, an untreated soft palette, severe eczema, burn scars, rotting flesh) you're not hideous enough to be out of the dating pool. Granted, your odds are going to improve if you're well groomed. Granted also, our society and media has taught us that women are supposed to look like playboy playmates (and men are supposed to be metrosexual and wealthy enough, by assets or employment, to be a family provider) but anyone who can't get past stereotypes isn't worth the effort anyway. Human beings are not as attractive as Hollywood actors.

Of course, if you're a total jackass and treat everyone around you with contempt (or angry all the time, or constantly grieving, or have no empathy for others, or trying to sell people on your pyramid scheme) then yeah, no matter how pretty you are, no one is going to want to date you. That's a matter of being antisocial. I've encountered model-material knockouts who had no love life because no-one around them could tolerate them for ten minutes.

As a straight man if you hit on me and you had a 1968 corvette stingray id drop my pants

Careful what you promise. I'm sure there are a few gentlemen in these parts (San Francisco) that do have a 60s era Stingray and would love to show a straight man the joys of not-so-straight love.

238U

Any gay men on here with a 1960s stingray or similar give me a call. Ideally if you are a woman with a 'ray it would be better but beggars cant be choosers

 

[krazykidd]

So I was just out grocery shopping when at the deli counter I ended up waiting my turn behind two rather attractive men. Being a woman with a pulse, I checked them out.

A few isles later I ran into one. I gave him a once over again which he obviously noted, and he laughed. Not an awkward "Oh, she's checking me out, what do I do?" laugh or a "I'm flattered" laugh, but a derisive snort that said "Who does she think she is?". Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known.

I was rather annoyed. Why be annoyed that someone finds you attractive? It's not like I grabbed his shirt and begged him to date me or sleep with me, I was just enjoying looking at him with no expectations whatsoever.

The other guy had given me a nice, warm smile and went on his way. He got it.

If I get hit on or checked out I usually just say thank you and that's that. If I even realise that's what's happening, as it's rather rare for me to be hit on.

So how do you guys handle situations like that?

I wonder why you assumed he laugh because of your weight . I find a lot more people like big girls than big girls realise , which is a shame ( coming from a guy who would never date/sleep with a girl under 250lbs).

OT: I am way too clueless to realise when a girl is hitting on me , and way too shy to actively hit on a girl . Unless she straight up tells me she finds me attractive , i won't know . And i do find myself to be quite attractive . My problem is i cannot talk to women , because i am afraid of rejection . But when women talk to me i beam with confidence . It's how i can still get laid while being socially retarded .

[small] it does pain me to admit that i have missed out on a few women due to being completely clueless[/small]

 

[Riff Moonraker]

So I was just out grocery shopping when at the deli counter I ended up waiting my turn behind two rather attractive men. Being a woman with a pulse, I checked them out.

A few isles later I ran into one. I gave him a once over again which he obviously noted, and he laughed. Not an awkward "Oh, she's checking me out, what do I do?" laugh or a "I'm flattered" laugh, but a derisive snort that said "Who does she think she is?". Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't find men attractive and make it known.

I was rather annoyed. Why be annoyed that someone finds you attractive? It's not like I grabbed his shirt and begged him to date me or sleep with me, I was just enjoying looking at him with no expectations whatsoever.

The other guy had given me a nice, warm smile and went on his way. He got it.

If I get hit on or checked out I usually just say thank you and that's that. If I even realise that's what's happening, as it's rather rare for me to be hit on.

So how do you guys handle situations like that?

To be honest, anytime a lady checks me out, whether she would be my type or not, I am flattered. About a year ago, I was walking into a store, and as I got onto the sidewalk out of the parking lot a car went by with two considerably younger females in it, and they honked the horn and catcalled me. It blew my mind, and I was walking on air for the next few days after that. So yeah, ignore those arseholes. Most guys appreciate it immensely.

 

[Miyenne]

I wonder why you assumed he laugh because of your weight . I find a lot more people like big girls than big girls realise , which is a shame ( coming from a guy who would never date/sleep with a girl under 250lbs).

OT: I am way too clueless to realise when a girl is hitting on me , and way too shy to actively hit on a girl . Unless she straight up tells me she finds me attractive , i won't know . And i do find myself to be quite attractive . My problem is i cannot talk to women , because i am afraid of rejection . But when women talk to me i beam with confidence . It's how i can still get laid while being socially retarded .

[small] it does pain me to admit that i have missed out on a few women due to being completely clueless[/small]

Usually I'm quite confident, but since I quit my job 6 months ago I've gained 30 pounds, mostly around my middle. Even if I suck in now I have a spare tire. It's got me feeling rather down on myself lately. But I've changed how I cook meals and will be doing my best to get back to my normal weight... Which is still quite overweight, but at least something I maintained for about 10 years.

I know many men don't mind bigger girls, although most won't admit it. But still, gaining 30 pounds would upset almost anyone.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I?d be flattered, or think they?re joking, since I?m not attractive (the most I could say is that I?m skinny and have been told by a few girls that I have ?nice eyelashes?, but I have a shit depressing personality and my stutter can make it hard to converse with even my friends) and have never been hit on (at least, to my knowledge).

Chances are, if I knew they weren?t fucking around, I?d give them a creepy grin like I always do to girls I like, take them up on it and ask them out to the cinema or something, because I?m a desperate, lovesick virgin and I might be too embarrassed/inexperienced to just come out and say, ?Hey, I think you?re pretty too; wanna go out with each other?? If anything, it?s usually me that?s checking others out.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

Usually I just kind of smile and laugh politely. I'm not adverse to it, just usually a bit surprised.

 

[CryoSynth]

Take it as a joke at my expense and think of ways to harm the person. Of course there's nothing much to do with strangers, but if they're a colleague or such there's the potential to make their life harder.

 

[80sboy]

Woman hit on guys? Bullshit!

And I'm saying this as a pretty good looking guy, considering not my opinion, but of others.

But then again - technically - I don't consider it getting hit on unless she's trying to ask me out. And the only place in the world that's happened to be was in Japan. We live in a culture where it's not socially accepted for woman to hit on men. So I'm confused with some of you people's stories. But then again there's a lot of none Americans here to so meh.

:/

The few times women hit on me I felt overwhelmed with pity for them. And as Jim Jeffries said, "There's nothing worse you can give anyone in this world than pity."

That's the worse inhuman lines I've ever heard in my life. Do you even know the definition of pity?

:/

Only self-centered egotistical people would feel that way because they like to think of themselves as flawless, or demand themselves to be. Those annoying assholes that force a smile, and try to make everyone love them, but instead the creep everyone out. And when I don't find them charming or funny, they get mad and take me as an enemy.

Simply pitiful.

 

[ViciousTide]

Most hot people make it a healthy habbit and lifestyle to workout daily and eat nutritious foods without overconsumption. Some get too obessesed with it, and will become jerks and douchebags. So attractiveness is only 5% of the "soul mate" game. Morality, intelligence, personality, courage, motivational leadership...etc is what makes you attractive for life and is what you are searching for in a mate for life!

 

[Mr Fixit]

I'm all for it, if I find the one checking me out attractive, well then it's time to turn on the charm. If I'm not particularly attracted to her then I will smile at her & just go on about my business.

I have in the past been hit on & I didn't even realize it until afterwards. I was in an elevator with a very lovely lady that was being very friendly & because my mind was elsewhere(damn work) I let her walk off without even asking her name. I'm an idiot sometimes.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

Meh, I've got a girlfriend so I sorta just smile and continue doing what I'm doing.

When I'm single I'd often check her out back (or just make eye-contact, showing that I noticed), usually leading to slight-smiles on both ends of the silent exchange. Then we both continue on our way.
...
Eeyup. Very momentous.

Not that I get "checked out" much at all haha, so this is just from what (little) experience I've had.

As for your unfortunate encounter OP, sorry to hear you got a rather rude customer on the other side of it.

 

[ShiningAmber]

I actually just had a man hit on me yesterday Funny to see this thread.

I was at the opening of a new bookstore and was browsing and a turn around a this man is literally right behind me. I practically ran into him. He said, 'Hey Beautiful, are you single?'

I didn't know my boyfriend had just come around the aisle and said something along the lines of, 'You don't even ask her for her name or how she is doing? You just ask if she is single or not?'

The man walked away Now that I think about it, my boyfriend did have a good point and I was glad he was there.