How much of an age gap is too much?

[EightGaugeHippo]

As long as your both legal, I couldnt give a crap.
Although, over 20 years, it starts to get abit strange.

 

[Sparrow]

Dependant on age, really. A 15 year old and 20 year old is a bit weird, but a 25 year old and 30 year old is fair game to me. Just depends how you swing it, I suppose.

 

[rockera]

It's the ol' rule, half your age plus 7. It works most of the time

so by my calculations at 4 you can date a 9 year old
and a 14 year old can go out with a 14 year old....thats one hellova age range I've got

 

[AquaAscension]

I think it's more about categories of age and maturity than it is about straight numbers. For example, we kind of lump people from 40 to 70 or so into one category (depending on how... decrepit... they look and such) whereas we have several categories for people in the younger spectrum: infant, toddler, child, adolescent, teenager, twenty-something, and adult (as a general list that is by no means all inclusive). This is set of categories is not fixed but is rather mutable. It's not mutually exclusive; i.e. just because you're 17 doesn't mean you stay in the "teenager" category (which is itself broken into several sub categories based on maturity, looks, attitude, etc.). Anyhow, the numbers rule I thinks helps to categorize people, but it's not a hard and fast rule, and I think the theory of categories helps to explain why older people with large age gaps isn't as creepy as young people with moderate age gaps.

 

[Xyliss]

It's the ol' rule, half your age plus 7. It works most of the time

so by my calculations at 4 you can date a 9 year old
and a 14 year old can go out with a 14 year old....thats one hellova age range I've got

Haha apologes, I made the assumption that this applies to those of legal age (which is 16 here) nothing against those who are younger dating, but as you say it doesn't really work

 

[rockera]

-snip-

Alex rocker breaking maths since 4172!

 

[Xanadu84]

Half your age +7, like so many people have said. However, this is not a hard and fast rule, but rather a red flag. If someone is outside of this range, a relationship MAY still be acceptable. But the individuals involved must be more in love, mature, and stable then usual.

 

[Xanadu84]

It's the ol' rule, half your age plus 7. It works most of the time

so by my calculations at 4 you can date a 9 year old
and a 14 year old can go out with a 14 year old....thats one hellova age range I've got

Ah, but the 9 year old can't date anyone younger then 11 (9/2+7=11.5, that persons minimum mate age). Therefore, the equation still excludes that relationship as viable.

 

[omega 616]

Not really a problem but sometimes it's hella (did I use that right? Hella?) creepy.

If you look like a scrotum and your missus still likes Jersey shore, it's as creepy as Hugh Heffner but it's still legal so who am I to judge?

 

[Denamic]

As long as both parties are old enough to be considered 'mature', any gap is just fine, imo.

 

[Kagatos]

Half your age + 7 seems to be the accepted lower age band where I am.

If you're younger, just apply it to the other person.

Seems a lot of people have heard of this general rule, However I've heard it as half + 8 but regardless it puts you in the same general area.

 

[Broady Brio]

Half your age + 7 seems to be the accepted lower age band where I am.

If you're younger, just apply it to the other person.

I'll agree to this rule up until 30+ then you go out with anyone who is also 30+

 

[kebab4you]

5-6 years, but more then that it´s just creepy, no matter what whey you look at it.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

Well so long as they're both of consensual age (and if not, so long as the older one isn't more that 3 years the elder) then I don't really see that much of a big deal how different their ages are. I mean it's odder simply because they have a larger difference in world experience and the older one could dominate the younger more naive one, but that could happen with any age difference (even if there isn't one) so long as one is dominating and the other naive or submissive.

Yeah its a bit odd to me, but if they both have feeling for each other, then who am I to question their relationship? If I apply that rule to other types of "weird" relationships, why shouldn't I apply it to this one?

 

[brighteye]

Easy, X is the older persons age

(X/2)+7= the lowest age its "ok" to date

So if you are 20, it's ok to date someone 17 or older. Math can solve anything!

so if your 80? its ok to date a 47 year old?

Near the end of your life conventional mathematics breaks down.

This is is actually a quite good "rule" and it atleast show a general idea of how old or young partner you could date without raising eyebrows.
That said, there is always exceptions.

My sister started dating a guy at 19 and he was more than double that age, i would agree that normally this would be very creepy and my kneejerk reaction as the protective brother were to grab the baseball bat and marching over to have a "relationship discussion" with the guy.
Further investigations made it clear that this was all instigated by my sister, and the guy never made the first move. Also a serious check into his past made it all to clear that this was a guy that only dated ladies of the same age as himself ( not that many, but atleast he made sure to usually follow the (X/2)+7 rule).
Finally i sat down with the guy and had a long conversation about feelings and intent, and after that i gave them both the big brotherly blessing to go on , as its finally my sisters life we are talking about , not my own.
Today ( 5 years later) they are married and have 2 kids, naturally sometimes the age difference comes into play, but i try and give them as much support that i can and in general, they seem very happy.
But as i said, i see this as an exception from the rule, and 9 times of 10, mr "old guy" would had an conversation with mr "bat".

 

[drdamo]

Well I always keep it simple, yet it requires a long explanation.
The ages of the people who are/can be your friends could be your lover aswell. The definition of a friend is a tricky one tho. I see it as someone you can learn from and the other way around on a regular basis, not just incidental. Ofcourse you need to abide legal concent, not just because its the law, but mostly because young people still need to find out who they are and what they want. Its not always a choice of personality and more often an impulsive action. Something I refer to as "monkey see, monkey do".
If you really want to base it on age, apart from the legal concent, go for 75%-125% of your own age. 75% if you are the dominant type, 125% if you are submissive. Most women want a man who can take care of them, so they look for older guys who usually bring more stability both mentally and financially, while men usually want the playful innocent princess who want to be taken care of. Ofcourse emancipation has changed this alot, which is the reason I base my potential love for another on state of mind and experience, which defies any age.

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

lets see...I reckon about 15 years

 

[Falseprophet]

Well congratulations to you two, but I did say it works most of the time, and it does take into account that the older you get the bigger the threshold becomes. Besides, I understand that age shouldn't matter if two people are in love I was merely saying that that's a guidline, no need to get so defensive

This. It is a good guideline, especially for adolescence/early 20s where 1 or 2 years can be a very big difference in terms of maturity. But beyond that it's not as important. My friend is 15 years older than his wife, and they didn't fit the rule when they started dating (though they do now). Some people click better with an older or younger partner than someone their own age.