How to fight.

[Carlan]

Well, at least there are some people in this thread giving good advice. That being, this is a bad fucking idea. You've admitted that you're the one starting this fight, for the sole reason, as far as we can tell, that he's a douche. That doesn't hold up in court, I'm afraid, and this thread alone can really muddy waters for you if this ends up in court.

This is a warning to go with the others: many of the things being mentioned in this thread can and will lead to serious bodily harm to the person you're antagonizing. Think of it this way: you try hitting him in the throat, his windpipe collapses and he dies. It's not hard for the courts to hit you with full-out murder because of this thread alone.

 

[Theninja'skatana]

Fighting fair is for the people who have the odds on their side.
(don't do any serious damage)
Most important plan for the aftermath.
Make up a good story or let yourself lose. (trust me a bit of humiliation is worth getting him expelled.)

 

[Tim_Buoy]

in a real fight there is no such thing as fighting fair use every dirty tactic you can think of major weak points on any human are the eyes ears nose joints and throat if he has a really pronounced adams apple give it a good hard jab

 

[Theninja'skatana]

I prefer to attack my opponents on a mental level.

and this:

Or pull a Tyler Durden and scream/laugh like you're having the best time of your life

If he is afraid he might back out. psychologial>physical

 

[legion431]

Mods, please don't punish me for this, it's for self defense purposes only] If you really are going to get in a fight, and i mean REALLY; the best course of action is a good strong strike to their floating rib, the lowest rib just above their hip, if you can get around to it. It's easily broken if your strong enough. Then, a good strong uppercut to their jaw.

In a lot of fights, people usualy just grab each other on the collar of their shirt; if he does this, hit him in the solar plexus, the centre meeting of the ribs.

 

[Mikkaddo]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

DISCLAIMER: I am not endorsing anyting said below simply relaying knowledge.

The adam's apple if visible is a very tender spot in the neck, a solid strike (preferably with the angle of the knuckle rather than the flat of the fist) is bound to knock him down if not keep him from calling out. As well there's the obvious groin move, but think more creatviely than that, dodging to the side and striking the back of the knee is VERY effective to get a person on the ground, and once he is below you, you have the advantage. The back of the neck is not a very good idea, but the base of the neck, right between the shoulder blades can do a major job on a man, put in a good strike there and not only will he be on the ground face down, but could likely have bruised bones. Do this right, and he'll either be missing a while from the school or he'll NEVER COME NEAR YOU AGAIN.

 

[shotgunbob]

Prepare to lose the fight because your asking about fighting on The Escapist.

 

[Daft Sikes]

Screw the honor. Do whatever you can to bring the guy down. In other words, kick him in the nuts and watch him writhe on the ground.

 

[ilspooner]

Go for the groin. If he is a massive douche as you say he is, then don't be afraid to fight dirty. Or, don't fight at all.

 

[felixdan1]

this has always helped me(it may be cheap but it works)
when the fight starts and ur waiting to see who throws the first punch get one of your friends to distract him shortly andd move in for a strike to the jaw or temple.

 

[gallaetha_matt]

Obviously, if you can find a way - don't fight. Real men (like Alan Shore and gallaetha_matt) use their awesome, sexy words.

You know the guy you're fighting. If you can find a way to avoid fighting him and still save face, do so. Otherwise - here is what I can offer. I'm no expert, by any means, and I'm something of a coward. But I used to box and I have a belt in Judo (Orange! Because I helped to train the kids) and a belt in Jiu Jitsu (White! Because after two years I never got a single fucking grading. Stupid lack of funding... but we don't have time for that!). I have some tips that might help, don't take me as gospel. Because like I said. Coward.

Hold your guard up. Try to get your forearms in front of your face, tuck your chin into your chest as much as you can while still being able to see the fight (since you're in it, this is imperative). Try to get your left hand, or right (depending on if you're a left or right hander) a few inches in front of the other. Whichever hand is nearest to your face, pull the corresponding leg a few inches back and turn the foot 90 degrees. It should do this naturally anyway. Try to put most of your weight on the balls of your feet (the bits just below the toes). This should let you move a bit quicker in case your opponent decides to throw a punch. Word to the wise: He might!

Keep your eyes on the centre of your opponents chest. If he was wearing a polo shirt this would be the bottom of the line of buttons on the neck. That way you can see all his/her extremities without moving your head.

From there you're not 100% safe. But you have most of you covered in case of crippling injury. He can only hit around your guard anyway - when you see an opening, be it a straight line to his chin, a drop of his guard or a weak leg, hit it how you see fit.

Best of luck, dude. I hope it doesn't come to blows.

 

[Something Amyss]

Keep in mind if you do something that's extreme, you're far more likely to get into shit or even get charged. This "eye gouge" stuff is a particularly bad idea, as are weapons, throat strikes, etc.

 

[Something Amyss]

Obviously, if you can find a way - don't fight. Real men (like Alan Shore and gallaetha_matt) use their awesome, sexy words.

Alan also used wads of cash. Though that didn't work out as well.

 

[captaincabbage]

I reckon you could take a few tips from this guy

 

[lacktheknack]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

It's not gonna work. Period.

Go for psychological terror instead. Summon Cthulhu, put on so much makeup that your mouth disappears, constantly look like you're looking through him, tell him that he has delicious looking feet (seriously). Sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" two octaves too high, and slowly. Orgasm each time he speaks. The more times he says "What's wrong with you, fuckhead?" The better it's working. He'll get more threatening as time goes on, get creepier.

If you can, sing this. <youtube=liJfyxmzkMQ>

Bullies stopped interacting with me, and fast. I'm being dead serious here.

If you're REALLY feeling malevolent, and you're really fast, cut your finger and bleed on him when he isn't looking. This has caused all kinds of chaos in the past.

 

[Vykrel]

stay defensive. school fights always go down the same way: both kids bum rush eachother and throw silly things like precision and tactics out the window.

dodge his blows and wait for an opening, then take your shot. if its during school, youll only have time to land in a couple good ones.

 

[The_Healer]

eat a bannana

Surprisingly, being constipated makes you more violent.

...How and why do you know this?

Oh, I was just joking around. Sarcasm is hard to convey through cold text.

I'm probably right about it, though. Would you be in a peaceful mood if you where constipated?

Hmm, after spending my childhood watching Dragon Ball Z...

I'd say I'd be pretty pent up.

 

[Dimensional Vortex]

Do what I do when in a fight, do the most EPIC CHUCK NORRIS LIKE ROUND HOUSE KICK EVAAAA!!!!!

 

[Antidrall]

Keep your weight on both feet with 50 percent on each. arms up, one at your chest, the other in front of it, ready to block any strikes to the head. avoid the need to make some mortal kombat-esque uppercut or high kicks, it'll only leave you open and look like a complete idiot. If you must kick, make sure it's low so should you miss you can regain any lost balance. open hand redirection of punches has served me well in the past, along with grabbing wrists to get in close for a grapple. in the case of multiple opponents, keep both in your peripheral vision and prepare for any attacks on both fronts. Whenever I found myself with more than two opponents, I always assumed someone was behind me so I could expect an attack from behind. should any blunt weapons enter the fray, you could either find one of your own, or just tackle them down and beat their head into the floor. The best places to strike I found in the past to be the adam's apple and the solar plexus (the spot just above your stomach).

 

[Rigs83]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

Throw these at him

Otherwise don't get into the fight because this can happen

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