How to fight.

[Xanadu84]

Step one: Don't Fight. No, seriously. Avoid him. Avoid the fight. Get a teacher involved. Hell, get the cops involved. Doesn't matter if you act like a pansy. High school embarrassment doesn't matter. Being crippled does. And you never know when some bullshit will happen, and you will end up with legal troubles. Seriously. Avoid the fight.

Step Two: Be in an unassailable position. Be near a teacher who is bigger then the bully. Be amongst a group of friends. Do NOT bring a weapon, but if you happen to have something that you need to carry around anyways, and is kosher to carry around, and is pretty meaty, cool. Even a shoe can be helpful. Be calm, don't taunt the bully, and if you must make flippant remarks, make it clear that you will get cops involved when this is done. A Bully may not respect a teacher, but they are probably going to think twice when you start bringing legality into it.

Step Three: Maybe you are actually in a fight. You get jumped, you are defending yourself, you are pulled into it. No avoiding it. First, big people tend to not run fast. Run. Or hit, then run. Or hit until you can run, then run. Fuck honor.

Step Four: If you have to go this far, then you can pull out all the stops. Groin, Neck, Face, and low kicks. Don't underestimate stamping on a foot, especially if you can follow it with a shove while on their foot. DON'T DO ANYTHING FANCY! Fists and feet are okay, Knees and Elbows are better. Go watch a Thai Boxing match, you will see. Headbutt with the top of the head, using a sort of hard sneezing motion. If he is bigger, avoid getting too close. Above all else, do not try to win. Try to get the fuck out of there, and hitting just happens to be the only way to do that.

 

[AugustFall]

Edit: Read thread, don't start fights. Talk it out like a grown up.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

As with so many things in life. It's not about what you know, it's about who you know.

If he knows dodgy people and you fight him...you're screwed. Don't delude yourself into believing that fair fights exist outside of sport...at least they don't where I live.

 

[Meestor Pickle]

Bring friends. And a heavy tool of some sort.

That or don't get into a situation where you would need to fight in the first place...

EDIT: Or pull a Tyler Durden and scream/laugh like you're having the best time of your life.

Give that spah a piece of wrench!

You would be surprised how effective wrenches are when it comes it opening Doritos jars :3

 

[WOPR]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

I was in the same situation, I just flashed a butterfly knife and he ran away freaked out; lost all his "respect" as the bully he was...

Rather hilarious, luckily it was after school so it was considered self defense.

and I know the weapon (tool) is illegal, but I've made more then enough arguements for people to "turn the other way" ...at least until it harms someone then I'll be hammered big time with it

*shrugs* oh well
**continues to whittle a wooden turkey with the balisong**

 

[Tddawg25]

Pick up by the legs, slam him, if he's that big he'll lose his wind and you can ghetto stomp his life away. =P

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Go for the windpipe. After he doubles over in pain, knee him in the face. Quick, brutal, and effective.

Dude that could kill him

I'm well aware of that fact. This is one of those "only in the most dire situations" kinds of moves. If your life is threatened, use this one immediately.

 

[Dangerious P. Cats]

Am I the only person here disconcerted that people are advicing someone entering into what sounds like a schoolyard fight to get all fairbairn and potentially kill the other kid?

On another note I really hope that Jack Thompson or Tipper Gore don't ever find this thread, nothing says video games encourage violence like a group of gamers in a forum on a gaming website telling another gamer how to maim or possibly kill someone because another gamer ask how to win a fight they were preparing to have.

 

[ComicsAreWeird]

Avoid fighting if possible.

If it comes to it...headbut his nose: It´ll hurt a lot and it bleeds easily. Blood demotivates anyone of his friends to join the battle. Also, kick in the nuts is ususally effective.

But do this as a last resort. I repeat:avoid fighting. It is pointless.

 

[RatRace123]

Grapple, throw a few blows and to mix up your tactics and surprise your opponent, if you suddenly grab his arms and deliver a kick you can get a few strikes in.

Of course, if you can avoid fights and talk it out, that's the better way to solve problems.
These tips should only be used for defense.

 

[Denamic]

Be cheap.
Go for the jaw, groin or ribs.
Also, if you get a chance, hit him in the biceps.
Believe me, it hurts like a *****, and it can even make him unable to use the arm for a while.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Use the base of your hand, the meaty part, not the knuckles.

Unless you want a few broken bones, y'know.

Oh yes, and aim for the jaw.

 

[MGlBlaze]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

I'd say you shouldn't be looking for a fight. An intellectual battle of wills sure, but when things get physical, all reason generally has already gone out the window.

Also, have you tried contacting any staff at the school you go to? Dealing with it that way would be a far better way of going about things, and would probably give better results in the long run. This is just school; stupid crap won't matter much, but if you beat the kid into a pulp and ger arrested for assault, that will stay with you forever.

I emplore you to find another solution besides fighting.

If you REALLY have to fight... (I recommend such action only in self defence; I.E. he tries to throw the first punch and you were not trying to provoke him)

Spoiler

No, I'm seriousely not going to tell you how. Everyone else has already done it anyway... but for fuck's sake, don't aim for the throat, temples or a rising strike on the nose. They could seriousely kill someone and you will have no sympathy from me if you get arrested for murder in the process.

 

[The_Healer]

eat a bannana

Surprisingly, being constipated makes you more violent.

...How and why do you know this?

OT: Punch him in the stomach and then knee the shit out of his face when he bends over.

 

[ahrnygoose]

Remember, step 2 is very important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2REG3-Wb5gM

*ahrnygoose does not condone any or all violence where ahrnygoose could be subject to liability.*

 

[Ham_authority95]

eat a bannana

Surprisingly, being constipated makes you more violent.

...How and why do you know this?

Oh, I was just joking around. Sarcasm is hard to convey through cold text.

I'm probably right about it, though. Would you be in a peaceful mood if you where constipated?

 

[Phlakes]

If he throws the first punch, grab his arm and get him off balance FAST. Then hit him in a weak spot for massive damage.

 

[natster43]

Try to kick out the side or back of his Knee. That should cause him to fall.

 

[General_Potatoes]

Lol nutshot FTW. and friends. if they know how to fight

 

[havass]

Go for both ears, to disorient. Then punch the liver, kidney, knees, and groin. In no particular order. Maybe a few shots to the chest to wind him inbetween punches. If you manage to hit all of them, he'll be cursing you for weeks to come. And urinating blood, but that's a different matter altogether.