How to fight.

[el_kabong]

Fighting is by far the least creative and least effective way to deal with interpersonal conflict.

I've studied martial arts for many years and would never give advice to someone who is as eager to get into a fight as you seem to be. If you're asking on a forum for open advice just so that you can deal with someone who's not being nice to you, you're clearly not mature or responsible enough to impart any effective knowledge to. News flash - the world isn't nice. If you deal with all such adversity with violence, you're only going to end up a pretty pathetic human being.

In fact, if you start the fight, I hope you lose. I also hope that no one gets seriously hurt because of your stupid decision.

 

[Death916]

For fuck sake, you shouldn't BE fighting. One punch can kill a person. See how much you feel like a big man when you're standing in court trying to explain yourself in front of a jury.

eh self defense isn't that hard to back up in court, but if you do a nut shot the jury will probably convict you just because its cheating.

 

[John the Gamer]

Use dirty tricks. Think: pinching, or getting him down by pulling his ears. Fingers in the eyes(or sand; bring some) you could also use one off these things;

to hurt him a bit. might count as a weapon though, so it probably isn't such a great idea.

 

[Deimateos]

Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

Hard punch to throat, running knee to diaphragm, eat cake or celebrate. If he goes to the hospital, maybe juvie time and street cred! It's a win-win scenario >!

 

[Scarynerd]

Bring kryptonite.

 

[Kurokami]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

Don't know beyond going for obvious spots and trying not to get hit yourself.

Truth be told I'm kinda surprised at the responses here, I assume they're mostly just jokes, but bringing weapons and getting your friends to jump in? That's pretty f****g whimpy if you're the one about to start the fight. Not that there's much glory in fighting, but comeon, have some pride, or at least consider the possibility that doing something like that could easily be turned back at you.

 

[Valkyira]

You shouldn't be fighting anyway. Even if you defeat this so called 'bully', there'll be another waiting to torment you along the road. Fighting doesn't solve anything, you should avoid physical confrontation always unless he attacks you.

You sound like YOU are starting this fight, which means the 'bully', is the victim and you are the perpetrator. I've been in a few fights before, I'm not going to pretend that I was a ninja who beat the shit out of them though.

Even if you do kick this guys arse, everyone will see that you started it which means it will be YOU who gets in the shit. If fighting this guy is honestly worth getting expelled from school/facing a possible criminal record for assault, go ahead and do it... Best of luck to you.

But seeing as almost everyone on this thread seems to think they are masters hand to hand combat, I guess you won't take my advice.

To all you people giving him tips on how to kick this guy's arse, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Egging this guy on like this is just as bad as throwing the first punch. If something happens to the OP or the 'bully', you guys are all responsible.

Tally ho.

 

[CANofKAM]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

You're grounded.
No seriously, you want to get into a fight with a guy because you think he's a bit of a dick?
Call it hypocrisy, call it irony. Grow the fuck up, all of you. Shouldn't even be joking about a kid taking knives to school people.
OP you'll learn life's lessons the fucking hard way.

knives? why does everyone think i have knives!? and also its slightly more then being a dick. I have never gotten in a fight before and i am somewhat passive. I will try to avoid it but im on a short fuse right now, also, its skins! This isn't some crazed psychopath, trust me, NO KNIVES WILL BE INVOLVED!

 

[CANofKAM]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

I was in the same situation, I just flashed a butterfly knife and he ran away freaked out; lost all his "respect" as the bully he was...

Rather hilarious, luckily it was after school so it was considered self defense.

and I know the weapon (tool) is illegal, but I've made more then enough arguements for people to "turn the other way" ...at least until it harms someone then I'll be hammered big time with it

*shrugs* oh well
**continues to whittle a wooden turkey with the balisong**

thanks, i will try to avoid him. In the middle of class i will stand up and make a scene just to embarrassed him, not fight him, just call him out. Have fun with the wooden turkey

 

[bad_dog14]

If he tries to kick you, grab his leg and twist his ankle. That will down the fucker, then you can unleash all your anger on him.

 

[Angerwing]

Hence why its so effective, strike first and strike hard and your opponent will never have a chance.

Yeah, no. We don't kill other people unless we want to be killed. Literally every "technique" in that piece will either get you beaten to death (fun fact: someone with a mortal wound can continue to function for two minutes) or arrested for what sounds like a playground fight that the OP is going to bloody well start!

He's not in a fight, he is going to START a fight. there is a very vital difference there. look, I know a lot of this website's users were bullied but that's no reason to assume this person's victim deserves a beating.

Incidentally if you've got the time try reading this:

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/violence_geeks.htm

In fact also read the section on provoking an attack. They're interesting reads and explain a lot about non-verbal communication and warped perception. Basically if someone's a dick to you there's always a reason. Even if that reason is bullshit there's a rationale. Now chances are that this isn't as one-sided as it sounds.

EDIT: Also he's not an 'opponent', he's a 'victim' in this case.

Thanks for the link. That was a great read.

But I'm with this guy. The sign of a real man is a man who is cool, calm, and collected. Don't lose it and beat the guy down. It never ends well, and you're not the bigger man. You're just that psycho geek who snapped at the other guy. If he actually hits you unprovoked, hit him back. That's fair. Don't try to do some crazy ninja attack. Just swing at him.

But if you start a fight just to take the guy down a notch, you are a coward and an asshole. Don't be that guy.

 

[370999]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

You're grounded.
No seriously, you want to get into a fight with a guy because you think he's a bit of a dick?
Call it hypocrisy, call it irony. Grow the fuck up, all of you. Shouldn't even be joking about a kid taking knives to school people.
OP you'll learn life's lessons the fucking hard way.

knives? why does everyone think i have knives!? and also its slightly more then being a dick. I have never gotten in a fight before and i am somewhat passive. I will try to avoid it but im on a short fuse right now, also, its skins! This isn't some crazed psychopath, trust me, NO KNIVES WILL BE INVOLVED!

How so? As I'm a right basterd sometimes but that's how I am. I know other people who are. Nothing makes it okay for someone to beat me up.

Let me run you through a real school fight (not these matrix choreogrpahed fights which other people think happens.)

You and him will probaly insult each other for a bit, leading to one of you grabbing th eohter. Your friends and his will gather around you and chant "Fight, Fight" as loud as they can, usually meanign a teacher or someone will come in soon. You and him then will continue to insult each other and grab each others collars.

It's likely to end there but if it doesn't...

He or you will throw a couple of puches. Probaly not very well but oftentimes the shock wille nd the fight immediately. Alternatively headbutt someone (I used to do this as it ended them quickly). You're friends will probaly try to break you up at this point, saying "he's not worth it" or "calm down". If one of you is way stronger you might get pinned to a wall and insulted some more before being let down.

The fight is over if that happens

If he pins you to a wall and continues punching you then someone will intervene and break it up.


As a side note try not to bite or kick him in the balls, you will be seen as less of a man for it. If you have to then do so but just be aware of it.

As you can see most fights are just ritualised chest puffing. Try to keep it that way.

 

[Timeslament]

Remember SING!

Solar Plexus
Instep
Nose
Groin

 

[DoctorObviously]

Most useful things have already been said, but if you want my input; I usually try to hit someone right on his ear. It really works.

Edit: To quote Tom Cruise: "Really f*cking hard!".

 

[Turing]

No weapons, no friends unless unless he brings some. Also, never kick or hit man who's lying down. Pushing him is okay though, if to prevent him from getting up.

For a quick advantage, see if you can split his eyebrow. Its essentially harmless, but the blood in his eyes will make it harder for him to see you.

For dirtier tricks, repeated punches in the temple will stun and confuse, but can be dangerous and you risk permanently injuring him.

If he's bigger than you, try to keep range as his body weight is an advantage.

Try to get him on the ground, for example with a swift kick to the back of the knee.

Even dirtier:
Steel-tipped work boots or similiar, kick to the shins or groin. Not going to make you popular though.
Lots of chilipaste. Wrestle him and smear it in his face, especially eyes and nose. Poor mans mace.

Seriously though, unless this is really serious you should just trade some punches and be done with it.

Personally, I have a rule: Never throw the first punch.

 

[BENZOOKA]

Attend to 'self-defence against fresh fruit'.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Just hit hard points with soft points and visa versa. Hit the face with the heel of your hand, that way you don't break fingers. Hard points are: face and pretty much every joint. Soft points are pretty much the stomach and groin.

Just try not to leave visible marks on him. Aim for the stomach and wind him. You'd be surprised how effective a good, solid punch to the solar plexus/stomach area can be.

 

[zen5887]

1. Learn Jiu Jitsu
2. Break limbs
3. ????
4. Profit

But seriously, if its anything like what the fights at my school were like, one of three things will happen.

1. There will be a circle of kids, a lot of name calling and shouting, then a teacher will come in and break it all up.

2. Person A will punch Person B in the nose, it'll bleed and they'll back off.

3. Both people will run in throwing wild, useless punches then one of those punches will land. The dude who got hit will start to fold and put his head down, the other guy will grab his collar/back of neck and start throwing uppercuts, then they will fall over.

School fights are pretty uninteresting.

 

[Communist partisan]

with any luck, i am going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. This guy is the biggest douche ever and keeps walking all over me and i about to do something if he doesn't stop screwing with me. Any tips on how to win a fight? i am pretty confident i can win but some tips couldn't hurt.

I'm used to fighting but never had any real training so: Punsh hard, punsh quick, while fighting try confusing him by making a swing whith your left and instead punsh him whith the right time to time, Kick him if you get the chanse but avoid the risk to get your foot grabbed or lost balance, If you get him down kick him in the face stomach and croutch untill he crys like a *****.

After the fight take his shoes and put'em on your wall as trophies

Also, if he's stronger taller and in all ways supreme than you take a fucking baseball bat and make chaos whith him but be carefull while using weapons of any kind, you don't want him to take'em from you and use'em against you.

BTW, yust take a baseball bat and fuck him up, fighting got no rules....

 

[Dajaki]

1. You might feel your legs get shaky or your hands jittering. That's adrenaline, brought on by fear. Things will get a little bit slower, your skin and eyes might feel tight. That's normal.

2. Don't bother with honour. If he's starting shit with you, hit him well before he hits you. Aim for his nads if it's necessary, but hit him with your dominant hand either with a straight to the nose (or throat) or a hook to the ear. If you aren't trained, which I'm guessing you aren't, don't aim for pressure points. They aren't the same for everyone anyway.

3. Do not aim to cripple or injure badly. Do what is enough for you to win and to get away, and if you are surrounded by a group, as tends to happen at school, don't surrender to the mob mentality of "kick his fucking head in". Do only as you must and go.

4. Only if his friends gang up on you should you fight to do as much damage as possible. Strike for the eyes, throat, ears and solar plexus, and aim for the nads as well. To save yourself, you need to either convince them that attacking you is only going to hurt their friend, or they themselves will be hurt badly. Then run.

5. The most important. Fight only in self defence, or if you feel you are in immediate danger, strike preemptively and run. However much you hate this douche, don't fight unless he's going to hurt you.