If EA took over *blank*

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The Artificially Prolonged

Random Semi-Frequent Poster
Jul 15, 2008
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If EA took over Insomniac Games. No more fun interesting gun designs in Rachet & Clank and Resistance is changed to a modern realistic setting to be the latest COD competitor *shudders*

That said EA are working with Insomniac on the Overstrike game, which does look like great. However I'm already slightly worried that EA might be lining Insomniac as their next studio to completely ruin once they're finished with Bioware.
 

Dryk

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Dec 4, 2011
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay, Jacob is black, Jack is an angsty teenagers, and on and on it goes. These characters have NOTHING else. There are one or two notable exceptions to this rule, but that's it.
I don't remember Jacob being black ever coming up. If you want to criticise them for being one-dimensional do it right and just make a list of them with "Daddy issues" next to it
 

GreyJedi

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Sep 22, 2009
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Dryk said:
I don't remember Jacob being black ever coming up.
Yeah, I mean, apart from his skin being dark and all.
If anything, he was a Latino. And yes, his personality was rather bland. But I still think you can't say that about the majority of ME3's major characters.
 

CaptainMarvelous

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May 9, 2012
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GreyJedi said:
SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
Dryk said:
I don't remember Jacob being black ever coming up.
Yeah, I mean, apart from his skin being dark and all.
If anything, he was a Latino. And yes, his personality was rather bland. But I still think you can't say that about the majority of ME3's major characters.
Jacob was black o_O. James was Latino. Which in no way justifies Smash's statement they're all bland characters just because you appear to have got them mixed up. There is a high percentage of 1-Dimensional characters but some of them are awesome, Garrus and Tali for example.

OT: EA buys out Grasshopper Studios. The release rate for games actually goes down, they start including DLC and doing direct sequels and lose any sense of joy or creativity as Suda 51 is 'respectfully asked to step down'. I still remember the fear when I saw EA's logo on the Shadows of the Damned box *shiver*
 

The Forces of Chaos

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Mar 25, 2010
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EA takes over Relic and trying to milk every franchise. I think EA's board may get lynched by angry fans if that ever happened.
 

Alternative

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Jun 2, 2010
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GreyJedi said:
If anything, he was a Latino. And yes, his personality was rather bland. But I still think you can't say that about the majority of ME3's major characters.
Most of Mass effects character development happens between games. thats the problem I have with it.

almost every major change is handled during the intermission between games.
 

hooksashands

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Apr 11, 2010
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They take over Mojang and charge your credit card whenever Minecraft updates. People who play the cracked version are, of course, unaffected by this.
 

Terminate421

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Jul 21, 2010
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If EA had the ability to take over the Halo games......

There would be:

Iron Sights
Chest High Walls
COMPLETELY Recharging health instead of the genius hybrid of shields and health
No Vehicles
Customizable Weapon Classes
2 hour Campaign
DRM
Online Pass
$20 Dollar Map Packs
Master Chiefs face would be revealed (At the begining of the game)
The game must sell over 600 Billion units and score a 101 on Metacritic
 

Soviet Heavy

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Jan 22, 2010
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THQ collapses and EA swallows up Relic. We get Company of Heroes: Modern Warfare after Company of Heroes 2 in order to compete with Activision, despite being an RTS.

Dawn of War 3 is written by Matthew Ward and C.S Goto.
 

Charli

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Nov 23, 2008
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If EA took over a kids lemonade stand I'd still shudder at this point.

...So yeah . Same result.
 

SonOfVoorhees

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Aug 3, 2011
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EA have money.....why blame EA? Blame the game companies that accept the money with the strings attached. Me personally, dont care, EA can buy whatever game they wish to. I never keep a game more than a week anyway.

But at least there would be a Half Life 3! (Yes there was a HL2EP3 but Valve got bored with episode gaming after ep2) So all companies are guilty of bullshit. Thing is, as a consumer, you have the power. Dont buy the DLC or those games that are bullshit. But people do and thus the bullshit continues.....spend $15 on a map pack, every map pack will be $15.
 

shrekfan246

Not actually a Japanese pop star
May 26, 2011
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Sean Hollyman said:
If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.
So, basically, it would be exactly the same as it is right now.


OT: EA swallows up Konami. In an attempt to broaden appeal, the next Metal Gear Solid game removes all stealth elements entirely, Solid Snake is brought back in, magically young again, and the shooting mechanics have been changed to be more akin to normal first-person shooters. Also, half of the exposition is removed entirely and cut-scenes spontaneously stop in the middle if they run over five minutes in length.

Silent Hill... well, I don't think even EA can ruin that series any further than it's already fallen.

Contra is changed to be a cover-based first-person shooter.

Castlevania games are all made based around the example Lords of Shadow made.
 

LeroyJenkinsthe2nd

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Oct 19, 2011
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Sean Hollyman said:
If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.
I see what you did there. :)
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
14,331
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Vault101 said:
joonsk said:
Hell, have you played DA:O, remember that dude named Zevran (I think that was his name), he was much worse than Traynor or Cortez.
that's kind of funny..I played as a female and I actually had no Idea Zevran liked men untill I read it on the internet..I just took him as a womaniser
Same with me. Even when I played as male characters I had no idea he was supposed to be gay. Of course I didn't really talk to him all that much. *shrug*
 

Hagi

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Apr 10, 2011
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I'd stop wasting my time. Guy hates Mass Effect, obviously. If it was in Mass Effect then it's bad. Steve and Traynor were in Mass Effect, as such they're horrible characters.

OT: EA takes over Bethesda. Fallout 4 becomes a cover-based linear shooter with a streamlined inventory and simplified stats. Power armour is not included in the game and requires either a pre-order or a $10 day-1 DLC.
 

Lt._nefarious

New member
Apr 11, 2012
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If EA took over Rovio...

Angry Birds: The Revenge of the Resurrected Grey and Brown Shooter. You'd play as Sgt.Smith and Pvt.Red and would join the Angry Birds unit of counter terrorism. It would be like the battle ship film as in it would have only a very small connection the the original title.
 

Chalacachaca

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May 15, 2011
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Naughty Dog, Uncharted for all plataforms! and throw out that Amy Hennig, every franchise she touches turns to unsellable (Legacy of Kain, need I say more?).
 

Marik2

Phone Poster
Nov 10, 2009
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Sean Hollyman said:
If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHA OH MAN

Love your satire XD