Insults without swears
- Thread starter The_Chief
- Start date
"Aw, what happened? Did mommy not see the sign that says 'PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT RIDE' by the roller coaster?"
"[He is] a modest little person, with much to be modest about." Abraham Lincoln
Face an audience (imaginary or actual), point to the offender and say, "This is why condoms should be worn."
Okay, I'm kind of a history nut- Winston Churchill and a woman named Lady Astor- she was the wife of a member of Parliament (I think)- had a rather... erm... humorous relationship.
Churchill once gave a speech while intoxicated, and afterwards, Lady Astor cornered him and said, "Winston, you're drunk."
He replied, "Madam, you're ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Another funny exchange of theirs was: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
"[He is] a modest little person, with much to be modest about." Abraham Lincoln
Face an audience (imaginary or actual), point to the offender and say, "This is why condoms should be worn."
Okay, I'm kind of a history nut- Winston Churchill and a woman named Lady Astor- she was the wife of a member of Parliament (I think)- had a rather... erm... humorous relationship.
Churchill once gave a speech while intoxicated, and afterwards, Lady Astor cornered him and said, "Winston, you're drunk."
He replied, "Madam, you're ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Another funny exchange of theirs was: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
Your mass is comparable, even equivalent to, that of a hippopotami.lwm3398 said:
Make your insults nice and long- the devastation on the victim's face is always priceless.
your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! i blow my nose in your general direction
http://santaevita.tripod.com/smegginsults.html
there's just to Manny of them...some even in the requested context!
there's just to Manny of them...some even in the requested context!
It is all to easy to insult without swear words - these words simply give emphasis to an existing idea. Yet I find it very interesting to insult without using a biological basis. Our insults, such as moron, depend on a lack of biological intelligence; others, such as "piece of shit" and "twat" etc. are all too obvious. One of the rare examples of a non-biological insult I can think of is "waste of space". Any other ideas?
When im really mad online I like to sound like a old British gentleman.
"PAH Most irregular sir, that comment on the chainsaw up my ass was poppycock. do take your ilk elsewhere and good day to you."
You can also use works like balderdash.
try it out sometime
"PAH Most irregular sir, that comment on the chainsaw up my ass was poppycock. do take your ilk elsewhere and good day to you."
You can also use works like balderdash.
try it out sometime
My favourite insults are attributed to Winston Churchill, Prime Minster of Great Britain (1940-1945 & 1951-1955)
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.
http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/famous-quotations-and-stories
(3rd quotation down)
Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/biography/the-admiralty/churchill-andwar
(12th paragraph down)
We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought. (Talking about Ramsay MacDonald, Former Labour Party Prime Minster (1929-1935)and also amazingly switched sides to the Conservative Party becoming the Prime Minster for just over ten months!)
Look up Winston Churchill on Wikipedia. There are a shed-load of his quotes on there - many of which are the most subtle and sublime insults. Shame that today's polititions worry too much about "soundbites" and don't truly get intellectually down & dirty.
EDIT: Note to a previous poster - you got your insulted ladies mixed up! See links to the official Churchill site
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.
http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/famous-quotations-and-stories
(3rd quotation down)
Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/biography/the-admiralty/churchill-andwar
(12th paragraph down)
We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought. (Talking about Ramsay MacDonald, Former Labour Party Prime Minster (1929-1935)and also amazingly switched sides to the Conservative Party becoming the Prime Minster for just over ten months!)
Look up Winston Churchill on Wikipedia. There are a shed-load of his quotes on there - many of which are the most subtle and sublime insults. Shame that today's polititions worry too much about "soundbites" and don't truly get intellectually down & dirty.
EDIT: Note to a previous poster - you got your insulted ladies mixed up! See links to the official Churchill site
Does it really matter if you like hamsters or not when you quote Monty Python, something that even non-fans are at least semi-familiar with? Misquoting one of the most quoted insults from that film just makes you look like the fool. Sorry.Radeonx said:
A good insult...Obviously you were not burdened with an abundance of education. Or try calling someone "lisenchephalic" but in a positive way. It means smooth brained. Which has to do with lizards and lower levels of intelligence. Just look it up.
'Caudax' is a good one. It's Latin for 'blockhead'.
Also this involves swearing but 'mater stuperator' is apparently '************'. I have no idea if that is true or not cause GCSE Latin didn't go that far, although we had a couple of stories about some Roman sluts.
EDIT: I also like the phrase - "you would move a rock to anger". I think it's a quote from Oedipus Tyrannus. Either that or Antigone.
Also this involves swearing but 'mater stuperator' is apparently '************'. I have no idea if that is true or not cause GCSE Latin didn't go that far, although we had a couple of stories about some Roman sluts.
EDIT: I also like the phrase - "you would move a rock to anger". I think it's a quote from Oedipus Tyrannus. Either that or Antigone.
Your like school in july... No class...
Also
Your like a 24 hour Seven-Eleven... You never close...
Good ol' scrubs.
Also
Your like a 24 hour Seven-Eleven... You never close...
Good ol' scrubs.
