Insults without swears

[Connosaurus Rex]

You grandiose idiot will fail at life seeing as you have the work ethic of a sloth with its legs cut off.

 

[Skooterz]

I've called people flea-bitten weasels occasionally.

 

[johnzaku]

you pair of pathetic peripatetics

 

[Denarius]

Why you miserable excuse for what didn't run down your mothers legs!

 

[Jaywebbs]

Incestuous spawn of swine

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

It IS possible in theory. But why would you want to?

OT Me and one of my friends invented, what we believe, to be the ultimate insult without swearing. "Go back to Games Workshop" - I don't know if thats anywhere else but here Games Workshop is the retailer for everything Warhammer 40k (as in the miniature figurines you paints and play that dice game with) we rate that as being the lowest of the low on the "respect 'o meter," closely followed by WoW. (Sorry to anyone here who partakes in these activities but when it comes to the people I know in real life who are into these things thats just how it is.)

 

[wewontdie11]

YOU FIGHT LIKE A DAIRY FARMER!

(which should be replied with)

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

Hehehe, beat me to it. I love Monkey Island.

 

[T3h Merc]

Dankeshan hier dummkopfs!
Schvienhund!
YOU GOOD SIR ARE A FAIL WHALE!
BONK!
I WOULDA BEEN YOUR DADDY BUT A DOG BEAT ME OVER THE FENCE!

 

[101194]

Your mum is a goat and your father smelt of elderberries!

Holy Grail, Cookie plox.

 

[Skeleon]

"Yes, you'd think that."

Says "you're an idiot" without uttering the word.

 

[Low Key]

You chow smegma!

 

[Shapsters]

Insulting without swearwords is the best way of doing it, because wit always beats anger.

You sir are as ugly as you are foolish and if you think I will succumb to your idiocy you are very much wrong. Now if you do not leave I will have to teach you a good lesson! Now good day!

I SAID GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!!

 

[Iskenator67]

Idiot is a good insult to use.

Agreed. From the French, idiote.

 

[WhiteTiger225]

I like to use the phrase Picklesniffer, it doesn't have to make sense but it could if you sat and thought about it for a second.

Your mother is a misspelled witch! (I know I should say typo but then non-internet peoples would not understand me >.<)

 

[Dys]

They tend to work better when they are in some way personalised and not trivialized by profanity... Voluptuous heffer is a personal favorite (if a bit generic).

 

[WhiteTiger225]

Your mum is a HAMSTER and your father smelt of elderberries!

fixed it for ya mate

NO. As said previously, twice, I don't like hamsters.

Does it really matter if you like hamsters or not when you quote Monty Python, something that even non-fans are at least semi-familiar with? Misquoting one of the most quoted insults from that film just makes you look like the fool. Sorry.

A good insult...Obviously you were not burdened with an abundance of education. Or try calling someone "lisenchephalic" but in a positive way. It means smooth brained. Which has to do with lizards and lower levels of intelligence. Just look it up.

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." -Mark Twain

 

[Sven und EIN HUND]

Your mum is your sister and your father was a dog.
That one I got from cracked.com. All credit to that fine site

 

[WhiteTiger225]

They tend to work better when they are in some way personalised and not trivialized by profanity... Voluptuous heffer is a personal favorite (if a bit generic).

I once told a girl in class (Got major detention for it)
"Wear some panties next time, your ankles are pale with cold"

Never had an oppurtunity to use that again in highschool because not many girls in my school were labeled "School Slut"

 

[Grand_Arcana]

Isn't Shakespeare's work riff with them?

Ironically, I find it easier to insult people on the web than IRL; more time to think of something good.