Insults without swears

[Yeq]

It is all to easy to insult without swear words - these words simply give emphasis to an existing idea. Yet I find it very interesting to insult without using a biological basis. Our insults, such as moron, depend on a lack of biological intelligence; others, such as "piece of shit" and "twat" etc. are all too obvious. One of the rare examples of a non-biological insult I can think of is "waste of space". Any other ideas?

 

[IanBrazen]

When im really mad online I like to sound like a old British gentleman.

"PAH Most irregular sir, that comment on the chainsaw up my ass was poppycock. do take your ilk elsewhere and good day to you."

You can also use works like balderdash.
try it out sometime

 

[Shnoogle]

My favourite insults are attributed to Winston Churchill, Prime Minster of Great Britain (1940-1945 & 1951-1955)

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/famous-quotations-and-stories
(3rd quotation down)

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/biography/the-admiralty/churchill-andwar
(12th paragraph down)

We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought. (Talking about Ramsay MacDonald, Former Labour Party Prime Minster (1929-1935)and also amazingly switched sides to the Conservative Party becoming the Prime Minster for just over ten months!)

Look up Winston Churchill on Wikipedia. There are a shed-load of his quotes on there - many of which are the most subtle and sublime insults. Shame that today's polititions worry too much about "soundbites" and don't truly get intellectually down & dirty.

EDIT: Note to a previous poster - you got your insulted ladies mixed up! See links to the official Churchill site

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

Your mum is a HAMSTER and your father smelt of elderberries!

fixed it for ya mate

NO. As said previously, twice, I don't like hamsters.

Does it really matter if you like hamsters or not when you quote Monty Python, something that even non-fans are at least semi-familiar with? Misquoting one of the most quoted insults from that film just makes you look like the fool. Sorry.

A good insult...Obviously you were not burdened with an abundance of education. Or try calling someone "lisenchephalic" but in a positive way. It means smooth brained. Which has to do with lizards and lower levels of intelligence. Just look it up.

 

[JenXXXJen]

I say meanie all the time

 

[FightThePower]

'Caudax' is a good one. It's Latin for 'blockhead'.

Also this involves swearing but 'mater stuperator' is apparently '************'. I have no idea if that is true or not cause GCSE Latin didn't go that far, although we had a couple of stories about some Roman sluts.

EDIT: I also like the phrase - "you would move a rock to anger". I think it's a quote from Oedipus Tyrannus. Either that or Antigone.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Your like school in july... No class...
Also
Your like a 24 hour Seven-Eleven... You never close...

Good ol' scrubs.

 

[McNinja]

I got this one from Opus from the comic Bloom County: "A pox on your firstborn, you ugly wart on a salamanders tongue!"

Other than that I just wing it whenever I need to.

 

[Death2Nite]

VOLDAMORT'S NIPPLE!

 

[Connosaurus Rex]

You grandiose idiot will fail at life seeing as you have the work ethic of a sloth with its legs cut off.

 

[Skooterz]

I've called people flea-bitten weasels occasionally.

 

[johnzaku]

you pair of pathetic peripatetics

 

[Denarius]

Why you miserable excuse for what didn't run down your mothers legs!

 

[Jaywebbs]

Incestuous spawn of swine

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

It IS possible in theory. But why would you want to?

OT Me and one of my friends invented, what we believe, to be the ultimate insult without swearing. "Go back to Games Workshop" - I don't know if thats anywhere else but here Games Workshop is the retailer for everything Warhammer 40k (as in the miniature figurines you paints and play that dice game with) we rate that as being the lowest of the low on the "respect 'o meter," closely followed by WoW. (Sorry to anyone here who partakes in these activities but when it comes to the people I know in real life who are into these things thats just how it is.)

 

[wewontdie11]

YOU FIGHT LIKE A DAIRY FARMER!

(which should be replied with)

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

Hehehe, beat me to it. I love Monkey Island.

 

[T3h Merc]

Dankeshan hier dummkopfs!
Schvienhund!
YOU GOOD SIR ARE A FAIL WHALE!
BONK!
I WOULDA BEEN YOUR DADDY BUT A DOG BEAT ME OVER THE FENCE!

 

[101194]

Your mum is a goat and your father smelt of elderberries!

Holy Grail, Cookie plox.

 

[Skeleon]

"Yes, you'd think that."

Says "you're an idiot" without uttering the word.

 

[Low Key]

You chow smegma!