Is it moral to date my friends ex?

grimsprice

New member
Jun 28, 2009
3,090
0
0
Some bullets said:
My friend and his girlfriend broke up (high school) Now she is getting into me and she is really cool in my opionion. The problem is I don't know what to do. Right know I am playing it safe and just stepping back contemplating the Bros before Hoes expression. Any input on the subject I am just looking for different views any help or criticism is much appreciated.

Edit: They have been serious for about year now.
Bros before hoes means you shouldn't stop being friends with him because of her or blow him off. It has nothing to say about dating anyone. I have this annoying friend who thinks anyone who wants to date one of his ex's should ask him! You do not have legal rights to people you dated. Its over between them and thats that. If he (or she) has a problem with that then they are both unbelievably immature.
 

jboking

New member
Oct 10, 2008
2,694
0
0
Some bullets said:
My friend and his girlfriend broke up (high school) Now she is getting into me and she is really cool in my opionion. The problem is I don't know what to do. Right know I am playing it safe and just stepping back contemplating the Bros before Hoes expression. Any input on the subject I am just looking for different views any help or criticism is much appreciated.

Edit: They have been serious for about year now.
There are two real rules to consider here.

1) Ask your friend if he would be okay with it. If he says yes, go for it.

2) If it's been more than six months since they broke up and your friend got a new girlfriend, by man law you allowed to date her with or without his approval. For him to feel offended at this point is stupid and against the man law.
 

Rhatar Khurin

New member
Aug 14, 2008
267
0
0
It is one of my only pieces of moral fiber left, that i don't jump in a friends missis's pants.

So no
 

Ghengis_tron

New member
Aug 22, 2009
32
0
0
I had a similar situation, I talked to my friend first and he said he was cool with it, but turns out later, he wasn't. If you are going to go through with this then be prepared to possibly lose a fiend over it. This may or may not happen but you don't know how people will react, it's possible your friend might not know how he will react.
 

nWovance

New member
Oct 4, 2009
27
0
0
Abit of a stupid debate really, not enough details surrounding the arguement.

My bro dated this chick for few months really liked her, she dumped him for our mate. Thay ended up dating for about 16 months and that ended badly, plus my bro still liked her a lot but did not want to make out he was being possessive.

She flirted with another one of our friends the whole time, because she really liked him deep down, there has been fights, arguments, accusations, you name it over her.

Now thay have been dating a few months all seems well, but there both jealous people, god knows what will happen.

In my advice, stay the fuck away from your bros or friends ex's, unless you know 100% that guy doesn't like her at all.
 

konkwastaken

New member
Jan 16, 2009
477
0
0
What you are doing is in serious violation of the bro code. The only way around this is expressed written consent from said bro.
 

garbutt

New member
Sep 22, 2009
71
0
0
Speaking as someone who IS dating his friends ex... I say take a chance and go for it.

In my case, it worked out fine - my girlfriend and her ex (my friend, call him Bob) had only been split a couple of months when me and my now girlfriend hooked up. First thing I did was to sit Bob down and have a talk with him and make sure he was cool with the situation. Thankfully, he was. And two years later I am still dating Bobs Ex, and me and Bob are still friends.

I'm not saying that we would have called the whole thing off if Bob had issues, but I considered it polite to check first :)
 

cleverlymadeup

New member
Mar 7, 2008
5,256
0
0
Mr.Pandah said:
My "best friend" hated me for doing this. He said "friends don't do that to other friends" and how "we can't be friends if I go out with her" and shit like that. Fuck bros before hoes. If your friend can't understand that you two have feelings for eachother, then he isn't a friend deserving of your time.
yeah i agree with you, basically it's your friend being jealous and that's the only reason why people say stuff like this. they don't want other people to be happy

ok now for 2 stories

one of my friends was away out west for a couple years, he came back for another friend's wedding. he met my friend's wife for the first time, they all became friends. well they ended up getting a divorce, after they broke up, everyone remained friends. now this guy and our friend's ex-wife kept hanging out and helping one another out, after a couple years they ended up getting in a relationship and finally got married and are very happy. before they did get together all three sat down and had a talk, today they are all very good friends with one another

now for story 2

one of my best friends was dating a girl a while ago, she got very jealous and started accusing my friend and this girl of having an affair. there was a big huge fight and my friend and the girl broke up. then my friend started to date this girl he was accused of having the affair with, both will not talk to the crazy ex-gf and even if she sees my friend around she'll freak out. my friend and the girl are happily married and all of us get along great. the on going joke is that i'm more her friend than his.

that being said the whole "bros before hoes" is complete and utter bullshit. anyone that follows that is either jealous and/or immature. if you truly care about the person or did, you will want them to be happy no matter what.

so i say go for it and date her
 

KeRALlS

New member
Oct 6, 2009
5
0
0
Hell no, I am currently waiting for my future girlfriend to dump the egotistical jackass she's going out with now, so i can swoop in as the friend who was always there in a time of need.
 

Zeekar

New member
Jun 1, 2009
231
0
0
Asides from the single universal morality, "Your rights end where another's rights begin" all others are merely subjective opinion. You should follow your heart, because you can only do right by yourself; You can't make everyone happy all the time.
 

Superior Mind

New member
Feb 9, 2009
1,537
0
0
Personally I would never date a close friend's ex. It's not a matter of bros before hoes or a matter of morals for me it's just.. something you don't do y'know. It's a dickhead move, particularly if she broke up with him but even if it was the other way around it's still somewhat taboo.

BUT I don't see why there should be any reason for you to be restricted by this. However I would suggest that you talk to your mate about it first. If it's going to be something that's going to cause a rift then you're going to have to make a decision. If he couldn't give a rat's arse who you stick your lap rocket into, (in a move known as the "good ****" move,) then go for it.
 

TOGSolid

New member
Jul 15, 2008
1,509
0
0
There seems to be some misunderstanding about the Bros. Before Hoes code.
My "best friend" hated me for doing this. He said "friends don't do that to other friends" and how "we can't be friends if I go out with her" and shit like that.
That guy is a fucking douchenozzle and is just trying to toss the code out there to cover the fact that he's a douchenozzle. Kinda like forcing a Godwin.
BBH, to me, is about not blowing off your friends just for some random piece of ass. Treating your real friends like shit just because some chick gave you the time of day. Shit like that. A real, healthy relationship though should be respected by your friends, unless you happen to be dating a real megabitch and are just a sad Cameron-style puppy dog, in which case it's their god given duty to inform you of this fact.

In fact, Urban Dictionary says basically the same damn thing I do:
A term used between male friends when one of them has become a whipped pussy ass ***** over a girl who in most cases is a tease.
So, the code works, however, just like the code is used to guard against clingy, vampiric soul suckers, it can equally be abused by clingy retarded 'bros' who are just emotionally fragile fucktards.
 

wikicated

New member
Jun 7, 2009
348
0
0
umm well ill say this dont burn any bridges.
Edit:wait a while after the break up out of respect and to try and neutralize any negative feelings