Is this how we should handle Dick Pics?

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

I think it's a good thing to do. Naming & Shaming is a time honoured way of dealing with creepy/bad people. If her example reduces unsolicited dick pics, then she is a modern Internet hero.

 

[s0denone]

I'm assuming you're a virgin and that's your fantasy and/or you're 17, because sending nude pics to your partner is about that much sensible

I am not a virgin, nor am I 17.

Sending "nude pics" isn't about it being sensible. It is the faux feeling of doing something forbidden thats attractive. That and knowing that you SO wants you bad. I can only advise you to try it.
Just the fact that you're talking about "sensible" here means you're not very sexually adventurous - and that's totally fine. To each his own. I think you should just relax and live a little, or at least let other people live the way they want to, yeah?

If you're super paranoid about someone "hacking" you, you can always just not include your head/face in the picture or video.

Men are turned on by vag pics and tits pics, so they believe women get turned on by dick pics.

While I cannot presume to be speaking for "all men" I can say that I would be VERY surprised if a lot of men were turned on by a random vag or even a pair of nice tits, aside from the very young or very sexually frustrated.

For me, at least, it is exactly as what you describe. It isn't about seen a vag (and they don't always look that inviting either, mind you) it is about knowing that the picture was sent to YOU and that YOU make your SO WANT to send you those pictures.

You think men put "vagina" in google images when they want to get off on their phone or computer?

 

[The Lunatic]

Not really seeing any difference between this and revenge porn.

Essentially, you're taking intimate images of people and distributing them to people who the author never gave permission for.

Which is... Exactly the same as revenge porn.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Not really seeing any difference between this and revenge porn.

Essentially, you're taking intimate images of people and distributing them to people who the author never gave permission for.

Which is... Exactly the same as revenge porn.

These are unsolicited dick pics, though, not ones both have consented to. There's a difference to exposing yourself at someone without their permission, and getting consensually naked with them.

 

[Andy Shandy]

If they're unsolicited which they are in this case, sure.

You throw a rock, you get a boulder in return, you build a thousand foot wall, you get a million foot ladder.

So if you send a dick pic, do you get a real one in the post?

Staring at you in bed, Godfather-style.

 

[dreng3]

Unsolicited dick pics are sexual harassment, and something that should be dealt with by the appropriate authorities, not by citizens. Get a dick pic? Go to the police and report harassment, don't take the law into your own hand.

And I'd say that it is very much a danger that comes with being so damn reachable. With all their instagrams, twitters, snapchats, and facebooks people are exposing themselves to the world, so when the world, or some guy named Chad, exposes back you shouldn't be that surprised.

 

[happyninja42]

How does one get in position to be sent dick picks anyway? I guess she gets with instagram following but how most women get them?

Well, going by what 2 young women who used to work for me said, it's sort of just "standard operating procedure". They expect them when they are meeting guys. In fact, one guy sent her one while she was at work. And she was like "I only met him 2 days ago!" The other woman basically responded by saying "Yeah, that's opening procedure for guys these days." Implying that if you give your number to a guy, you should expect a dick pic almost immediately from them. I don't know if this is emblematic of the social dating scene in general, or just their particular demographic being more prone to this, but apparently it's not that odd.

I've never understood sending out unsolicited dick pics. The times I've done it, were requested by the receiving party, so it was totally consensual, and usually reciprocated by the woman in question. But yeah, sending one to somebody I just met, and am trying to open up relations with? ...yeah, that's just strange in my opinion.

 

[Lightknight]

Sure, public shaming is the best way to prevent continued shameful behavior like this harassment. The biggest component of people being dick wads online is the feeling of anonymity. Breaking that down means motivation to behave more civilized.

You've got to understand, this would not be appropriate in public and news would get out that Mr. Johnson is waving his johnson at innocent passerbys.

As long as this isn't going to their managers or facebook in general, then this is fine. Female relatives and significant others is probably the best tool. These are essentially the people who should have already taught the bastard not to send nudies to strangers.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

I mean, if you do that, you're basically granting permission for the person you sent them to to do anything with them, and then you really can't complain and you shouldn't expect sympathy.

So in your opinion, revenge-porn, blackmail and various sexcrimes are also quite okay?

At least, for each of those we can come up with the same pathetic victim-blaming to justify it. "You deserved to get revealed, you sent dickpics" and "You deserved to have all your schoolmates see your naked pictures, you broke up after all" is the same argument.

Of course it doesn't work like that. Tracking people down like that and trying to destroy their relationship or blacken their name is criminal harassment. Not to mention monumentally pathetic.

Blame the criminal, not the victim.

The " victim" here is the person having the dick pics imposed upon them, the same way the victim of a flasher is the one they flashed. It is no different criminally. It is illegal to flash people and you are arrested for it and publicly exposed for what you have done :

http://herald-zeitung.com/community_alert/article_828a6144-6943-11e5-a100-a3d611713aab.html

If you do this, you go to jail, your family, friends, neighbors, employer all find out. If someone flashes you, you have every right to find out who they were and tell their family what they did. Sending unsolicited Dick pics IS the same as flashing.

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-33889225

It is just a matter of time before the laws catch up and is updated to include "cyber flashing" in more areas, it is already illegal to send dick pics by regular mail, just many places have not updated the law to include electronic communications as well. The victim finding out who the perpetrator is and letting those around the perp know what has happened is the victim trying to do something about it to stop it since the laws have not yet caught up everywhere. Once the law does catch up everywhere, it will be much easier to report such things and let the police show up to their house to tell their family why they are there...

 

[Lightknight]

How does one get in position to be sent dick picks anyway? I guess she gets with instagram following but how most women get them?

Well, going by what 2 young women who used to work for me said, it's sort of just "standard operating procedure". They expect them when they are meeting guys. In fact, one guy sent her one while she was at work. And she was like "I only met him 2 days ago!" The other woman basically responded by saying "Yeah, that's opening procedure for guys these days." Implying that if you give your number to a guy, you should expect a dick pic almost immediately from them. I don't know if this is emblematic of the social dating scene in general, or just their particular demographic being more prone to this, but apparently it's not that odd.

That sounds horrifying if this is truly becoming some sort of norm. I'd be interested in knowing how prevalent this actually is.

As for me, I just rent a billboard, you know, class act all the way.

 

[happyninja42]

How does one get in position to be sent dick picks anyway? I guess she gets with instagram following but how most women get them?

Well, going by what 2 young women who used to work for me said, it's sort of just "standard operating procedure". They expect them when they are meeting guys. In fact, one guy sent her one while she was at work. And she was like "I only met him 2 days ago!" The other woman basically responded by saying "Yeah, that's opening procedure for guys these days." Implying that if you give your number to a guy, you should expect a dick pic almost immediately from them. I don't know if this is emblematic of the social dating scene in general, or just their particular demographic being more prone to this, but apparently it's not that odd.

That sounds horrifying if this is truly becoming some sort of norm. I'd be interested in knowing how prevalent this actually is.

As for me, I just rent a billboard, you know, class act all the way.

Need that much space for your pic? xD Yeah, I found their reaction pretty alarming too. The one woman was like "pssh, yeah, and? I'm surprised he waited a few days." and the other, while shocked to get it, wasn't surprised. Her reaction was sort of like "Well, yeah I mean I expected to get a dick pic eventually, but I just met him 2 days ago!" So, even for her, the outraged party, the expectation of a dick pic was already a given, she was just surprised at the speed of receiving it.

 

[Cavouku]

Haven't posted in a while, good a time as any...

Assuming the authorities are unwilling to do anything about it (as is so often the case with internet-related anything), I'm not sure of a whole lot of other options. Ignoring is always an option, but admittedly that's not always the best course of action. While physically harmless (and psychologically/emotionally if you've got any mental fortitude to speak of. If not - welcome to the internet, you're going to have a bad time) the behaviour should be condemned as just utterly unacceptable.

I mean, we should tell guys not to do this, obviously. I am... unconvinced that such action will really stem the flow to any noticeable degree. So we come to shaming. I am NOT FOND of shaming because I think people underestimate how powerful a tool it really is, and so it should be used CAREFULLY- dare I say- TACTFULLY.

I would be against sending it to family members, for the same reason as below:

Actually I generally delete any e-mails or messages I receive from complete strangers. And I sure as hell wouldn't download a file from a stranger. Actually, now that I think about it, I'd be far more likely to read a message that started with "hello, my name is..." and explained the situation, than one where a schlong immediately popped up, in which case I'd likely hit the delete key faster than you can say "fucking porn spam!".

Of course, in the off chance I did look at it and asked my son/brother/nephew about it, assuming they said it was fake or denied any knowledge of it, it'd be the word of someone I've known for years vs. some model on the internet who could (for all I know) be completely bonkers. Granted, assuming they were the guilty party, this would likely make them think twice about doing it in the future, but it would likely work whether it was "Junior I received a dick pic today that someone says you sent them!" or "Junior I received an e-mail today from someone saying you sent them a dick pic!"

But I would feel that sending to a significant other is fair course; to some degree, they deserve to know the level of fidelity of their partner.

If they don't have an SO then I dunno... send them dick pics that you got from a different dude? I just don't think getting family involved is the best method. The last time a family member's even seen my genitals I believe I was about 7, and I like to think there's been some changes since then. I'm probably not gonna drop my drawers for anyone but an SO or doctor nowadays.

But then I'm also not gonna send unsolicited dick pics. Because I grew up one day, and noticed that the world is not fascinated by the sheer sight of my genitals. I think that was about age 7.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

How does one get in position to be sent dick picks anyway? I guess she gets with instagram following but how most women get them?

Well, going by what 2 young women who used to work for me said, it's sort of just "standard operating procedure". They expect them when they are meeting guys. In fact, one guy sent her one while she was at work. And she was like "I only met him 2 days ago!" The other woman basically responded by saying "Yeah, that's opening procedure for guys these days." Implying that if you give your number to a guy, you should expect a dick pic almost immediately from them. I don't know if this is emblematic of the social dating scene in general, or just their particular demographic being more prone to this, but apparently it's not that odd.

That sounds horrifying if this is truly becoming some sort of norm. I'd be interested in knowing how prevalent this actually is.

As for me, I just rent a billboard, you know, class act all the way.

Need that much space for your pic? xD Yeah, I found their reaction pretty alarming too. The one woman was like "pssh, yeah, and? I'm surprised he waited a few days." and the other, while shocked to get it, wasn't surprised. Her reaction was sort of like "Well, yeah I mean I expected to get a dick pic eventually, but I just met him 2 days ago!" So, even for her, the outraged party, the expectation of a dick pic was already a given, she was just surprised at the speed of receiving it.

I have received plenty of dick pics from strangers I do not know, however, I would never date a guy who did that. What kind of low class losers are these chics going out with? They need to raise their standards. YIKES.

 

[happyninja42]

I have received plenty of dick pics from strangers I do not know, however, I would never date a guy who did that. What kind of low class losers are these chics going out with? They need to raise their standards. YIKES.

No clue, I didn't really delve further into the conversation, seeing as I was their employer. We had a fairly laid back working relationship, and the one woman who wasn't surprised about the dick pics was very...forthcoming with personal information, but I honestly didn't want to know. The woman who recieved the pic in question, while making a note of it when she got it, pretty much kept her private life private.

 

[runic knight]

The idea of shaming people for their own stupidity is one I can't really argue against in principle. If they flashing their junk at people who most likely want nothing to do with them or it, they are asking for a bit of mockery at the very least. That said, I do have to wonder about the practicality and the justness of how it is being done. On the one side, this seems to be baiting more dick pics from people either with no care of their family's opinions of them, or simply because they get off on that sort of thing. Or they may feel it a challenge and specifically rain dick pics or worse on them just because of the predictable reaction. On the other, I am not sure I like the self righteous vigilantism of it, especially given the ease of harm the would-be backlash can do to people who aren't actually involved. Steal a pic online, hack a phone or email, spoof an IP, lot of ways to mislead where things come from, or even intentional frame others for it. Considering this is presented through Jezebel, from, well, people I don't trust in any degree of personal responsibility, restraint, or even fair examination when it comes to their personal politics or ideology, I have a lot of doubts about the idea. Reminds me a little too much of the open carry nutters for comfort; both groups of people looking for an excuse to show off how much of a "good guy" they are by way of punishing others.

Not saying I think it is too common an occurrence at the moment, but change the dynamic of how people respond and watch people take advantage of that change. This would-be solution seems it will cause more issues and more serious issues to others. When you risk harming the lives of people just to counter a troll, I think the troll has well and truly won.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

The idea of shaming people for their own stupidity is one I can't really argue against in principle. If they flashing their junk at people who most likely want nothing to do with them or it, they are asking for a bit of mockery at the very least. That said, I do have to wonder about the practicality and the justness of how it is being done. On the one side, this seems to be baiting more dick pics from people either with no care of their family's opinions of them, or simply because they get off on that sort of thing. Or they may feel it a challenge and specifically rain dick pics or worse on them just because of the predictable reaction. On the other, I am not sure I like the self righteous vigilantism of it, especially given the ease of harm the would-be backlash can do to people who aren't actually involved. Steal a pic online, hack a phone or email, spoof an IP, lot of ways to mislead where things come from, or even intentional frame others for it. Considering this is presented through Jezebel, from, well, people I don't trust in any degree of personal responsibility, restraint, or even fair examination when it comes to their personal politics or ideology, I have a lot of doubts about the idea. Reminds me a little too much of the open carry nutters for comfort; both groups of people looking for an excuse to show off how much of a "good guy" they are by way of punishing others.

Not saying I think it is too common an occurrence at the moment, but change the dynamic of how people respond and watch people take advantage of that change. This would-be solution seems it will cause more issues and more serious issues to others. When you risk harming the lives of people just to counter a troll, I think the troll has well and truly won.

I think that will subside though when the laws catch up to include electronic communications. As it is, in most places it is illegal to send dick pics via snail mail, they just have not updated them to include modern communications in many places. It is happening slowly, and will get there in time, in the meantime this is one of the only options people have to combat it. If they do not want people to have to handle it themselves, they need to update the laws accordingly so people have someone they can call to have something done about it. We are just in this " in between stage" where it is running rampant because people have no recourse.

It is crazy though that this has gone on as long as it has without having laws updated more often... I am sure they do not want to look back on this time in internet history as "Era of Rampant Dicks", instead of people having shootouts over poker matches like the wild west they are fighting dick pics with dick pics..

Though if someone flashes someone in person, the person who was flashed has every right to tell their family what they did. They talk to news reporters, and the whole world finds out what they did , so I am not really seeing that as a problem here for them doing it online as well.

 

[PainInTheAssInternet]

To those saying that unsolicited dick pics aren't a big deal. If they aren't a big deal and are just to be expected for the insufferable crime of being a woman on the internet, what's the problem with sending them to their mother or wife?

 

[Lightknight]

How does one get in position to be sent dick picks anyway? I guess she gets with instagram following but how most women get them?

Well, going by what 2 young women who used to work for me said, it's sort of just "standard operating procedure". They expect them when they are meeting guys. In fact, one guy sent her one while she was at work. And she was like "I only met him 2 days ago!" The other woman basically responded by saying "Yeah, that's opening procedure for guys these days." Implying that if you give your number to a guy, you should expect a dick pic almost immediately from them. I don't know if this is emblematic of the social dating scene in general, or just their particular demographic being more prone to this, but apparently it's not that odd.

That sounds horrifying if this is truly becoming some sort of norm. I'd be interested in knowing how prevalent this actually is.

As for me, I just rent a billboard, you know, class act all the way.

Need that much space for your pic? xD Yeah, I found their reaction pretty alarming too. The one woman was like "pssh, yeah, and? I'm surprised he waited a few days." and the other, while shocked to get it, wasn't surprised. Her reaction was sort of like "Well, yeah I mean I expected to get a dick pic eventually, but I just met him 2 days ago!" So, even for her, the outraged party, the expectation of a dick pic was already a given, she was just surprised at the speed of receiving it.

Did they strike you as particularly young?

 

[happyninja42]

The idea of shaming people for their own stupidity is one I can't really argue against in principle. If they flashing their junk at people who most likely want nothing to do with them or it, they are asking for a bit of mockery at the very least. That said, I do have to wonder about the practicality and the justness of how it is being done. On the one side, this seems to be baiting more dick pics from people either with no care of their family's opinions of them, or simply because they get off on that sort of thing. Or they may feel it a challenge and specifically rain dick pics or worse on them just because of the predictable reaction. On the other, I am not sure I like the self righteous vigilantism of it, especially given the ease of harm the would-be backlash can do to people who aren't actually involved. Steal a pic online, hack a phone or email, spoof an IP, lot of ways to mislead where things come from, or even intentional frame others for it. Considering this is presented through Jezebel, from, well, people I don't trust in any degree of personal responsibility, restraint, or even fair examination when it comes to their personal politics or ideology, I have a lot of doubts about the idea. Reminds me a little too much of the open carry nutters for comfort; both groups of people looking for an excuse to show off how much of a "good guy" they are by way of punishing others.

Not saying I think it is too common an occurrence at the moment, but change the dynamic of how people respond and watch people take advantage of that change. This would-be solution seems it will cause more issues and more serious issues to others. When you risk harming the lives of people just to counter a troll, I think the troll has well and truly won.

I think that will subside though when the laws catch up to include electronic communications. As it is, in most places it is illegal to send dick pics via snail mail, they just have not updated them to include modern communications in many places. It is happening slowly, and will get there in time, in the meantime this is one of the only options people have to combat it. If they do not want people to have to handle it themselves, they need to update the laws accordingly so people have someone they can call to have something done about it. We are just in this " in between stage" where it is running rampant because people have no recourse.

It is crazy though that this has gone on as long as it has without having laws updated more often... I am sure they do not want to look back on this time in internet history as "Era of Rampant Dicks", instead of people having shootouts over poker matches like the wild west they are fighting dick pics with dick pics..

Though if someone flashes someone in person, the person who was flashed has every right to tell their family what they did. They talk to news reporters, and the whole world finds out what they did , so I am not really seeing that as a problem here for them doing it online as well.

I think runic knight's main point was, given how easy it is to spoof technology, simply relying on civilians to police themselves, and dole out their own form of judgement and punishment, could lead to abuse of the system. A person doesn't like another person? They could spoof a dick pic, and accuse them of it. And in the social court, the person is guilty, no matter what evidence says to the contrary. Mind you, I think this is probably an incredibly slim chance, compared to the likelihood of it being a legit dick pic case.

To those saying that dick pics aren't a big deal. If they aren't a big deal and are just to be expected for the insufferable crime of being a woman on the internet, what's the problem with sending them to their mother or wife?

Dick pics in and of themselves aren't a big deal, just like tit pics, or vagina pics aren't either. The act itself devoid of any malice. If the person is sending them unsolicited, that's a different story.

 

[happyninja42]

Did they strike you as particularly young?

They were in their early to mid 20's yes, what I would consider prime single dating bracket. And the one woman, who wasn't surprised by the dick pic, was very...well, there isn't any way to say this politely, though I personally don't have any issue with her doing it itself. She was a gold digger. She expressly told me on multiple occasions that she had hooked up with men for financial gain. And she had multiple men that she did this with to help her budget. She wasn't a prostitute (though honestly I wouldn't have an issue with her even if she was), but a key factor in whether or not she would get into a relationship with a man, was how much money he could bring to the table. And she would...get explicit when we first worked together, about her dates. I got the point across that I really didn't want to know the graphic details of her sex life, but she would still tell me about her exploits in the broad sense. So for her, given what she was mostly looking for in her relationships (financial provisions), I guess she's expecting it to be more likely? *shrugs* Again, I don't really care that she did this, as I think there are far worse things to do with money than to have sex, and it frankly didn't impact her work at my place of employment, so who fucking cares?

The woman who received the dick pic in this story, wasn't as sexually open, but she would comment about things every now and then. For example, she wore a scarf for several days in a row, and it was sort of odd for her, fashion wise. So I asked her why she was rocking the scarf that week. And she pulled it down to show me a significant hickey on her neck. And commented about how annoyed she was with the guy, after specifically telling him not to do that. I found it amusing to be honest, and fairly benign.

But in both cases, they seemed to expect them as par for the course. Though I think the second woman was expecting those after probably initiating sexual advances? Not "hey girl, you gave me your number last night, so I thought I'd send you my dick" kind of thing. More likely the "hey baby, i'm feeling hot right now, send me a vid of you stroking" after they've been dating for a few weeks/months/whatever her rate of advancement is. The former is something I find fairly distasteful on the part of the sender, the latter is perfectly fine.