Is this how we should handle Dick Pics?

[Something Amyss]

On a side note to this thread, please...nobody complain the next time an "Elevatorgate" comes up.

If your response to this sort of thing is effectively "deal with it," don't complain when women are uncomfortable. That is them dealing with it. They are dealing with it by being wary around dudes, because apparently this is socially acceptable behaviour.

Aww, man - and all these years, I've been completely ignoring females and NOT sending them dick picks, even though they've gone through all these steps.

Spoiler: Here, let me make it up

That's a mighty impressive Dick you got there.

But family members? They didn't do anything, why the hell is she dragging them into this?

Why did anyone drag her into this in the first place?

Except while one's a callous act, one's simply a calculated one. You make sure people are aware to reduce the likelihood of this happening again.

Going out of your way to ensure there are consequences for sending unwanted dick pics is to reduce it from happening and to ALSO warn those around the person doing it that this is the type of person they are dealing with. Not everyone finds it as amusing as you might.

Also because this is tacitly socially acceptable, and the only way to deal with that is to drag it into the open. And you will find people who will condone and/or accept this behaviour in the first place.

 

[Estarc]

Good on her. I think in this instance the punishment suits the crime, so to speak.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

What???
Assuming you're saving some picture that your SO sent and you don't have it lying anywhere online, as in having deleted the email, the message from the cloud or whatever the fuck, then you are SAFE.

The useless skid keylogger doesn't help with actually accessing your computer, only helps accessing your online accounts. SO IF IT IS ONLY SAVED LOCALLY, THERE IS NO RISK.

I don't entirely get why stealing pictures someone left online is treated so differently than anything else. If you gave a physical picture to your partner and someone found it hidden away while robbing your house, would people be jumping on them in the same way saying that they shouldn't be so stupid as to have a physical copy lying around where anyone could break into their house and steal it?

What about people trying to sneak panty shots in public? Were they asking for it by wearing something that gave someone the opportunity to sneak photos of their underwear? Honestly, that probably happens more often than people hacking your email to steal your photos.

I really don't get why, when someone's clearly doing something wrong to get the photos, why we treat the online world so much different than the physical one. If anything, it should be the other way around, because most people have more knowledge about how how people can get nude pictures of them in the physical world than the online one.

 

[DoPo]

like who can literally give a shit unless that's the only thing they're getting?

Why should you give a shit what other people do or not? You seem awfully invested in this and it doesn't even concern you at all[footnote]unless you like sending unsolicited dick, that is[/footnote]. And now, here is the thing - what if it did? What if there was an issue that did concern you - would you similarly just go "No, I shouldn't be concerned"? Because your attitude here shows that you can and do concern yourself with stuff. When directly related, the concerns are usually intensified.

At any rate, what I'm trying to say here is the following: some people care. You say they shouldn't, yet at the same time you care about something I can say you shouldn't. Imposing one's attitude on others doesn't really work - people care about what they want to care. Yeah, not a thunderously shocking revelation there, yet it seems it needed to be mentioned.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

What???
Assuming you're saving some picture that your SO sent and you don't have it lying anywhere online, as in having deleted the email, the message from the cloud or whatever the fuck, then you are SAFE.

The useless skid keylogger doesn't help with actually accessing your computer, only helps accessing your online accounts. SO IF IT IS ONLY SAVED LOCALLY, THERE IS NO RISK.

I don't entirely get why stealing pictures someone left online is treated so differently than anything else. If you gave a physical picture to your partner and someone found it hidden away while robbing your house, would people be jumping on them in the same way saying that they shouldn't be so stupid as to have a physical copy lying around where anyone could break into their house and steal it?

What about people trying to sneak panty shots in public? Were they asking for it by wearing something that gave someone the opportunity to sneak photos of their underwear? Honestly, that probably happens more often than people hacking your email to steal your photos.

I really don't get why, when someone's clearly doing something wrong to get the photos, why we treat the online world so much different than the physical one. If anything, it should be the other way around, because most people have more knowledge about how how people can get nude pictures of them in the physical world than the online one.

Of course it should not be treated any different than any other crime, at the same time , however, We should make it very clear that it is impossible to " secure the internet". The internet should be treated the same as being on public display including anything you have " hooked up to the internet" due to the inability to secure it. Basically, anything that actually requires it be secure should not be connected to the internet.

Going on the internet is like sitting in a bar in the middle of a bunch of known thieves and expecting not to be robbed.

 

[JimB]

There are two reasons not to take a course of action. The first is that it will not achieve the goal you have set out to accomplish, which does not seem to be the case here, as Ms. Sears's testimony indicates it has successfully reduced the amount of harassment she has received. The second is that the course of action taken will accomplish the goal but cause an undue amount of harm along the way, which I do not believe is the case here, as I think a harasser's friends and family deserve to know that the person they associate with is scum. This knowledge may cause pain, but ultimately it is not Ms. Sears causing the pain; it is the behavior of the person whose actions she is exposing.

Do you really not see the folly in this kind of push-back against it (not that I'm pro-dick pic)? You throw a rock, you get a boulder in return.

The idea that a person must endure harassment or else she will be subjected to harassment seems like a self-evidently flawed one to me, and that's even before we take into account that Ms. Sears's methods are working out as she hopes.

This would be like if someone egged my house, and I discovered it happened to me because my neighbor stole that person's car. Why am I being punished for the actions of someone I have no choice but to know?

Being told the truth is not a form of punishment.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

...wives, girlfriends, sisters, aunts, mothers the pictures with a message that they deserve better than this.

Wives and girlfriends, ok, because they're being informed that the guy they're seeing or married to is cheating on them (or at least trying to).

But family members? They didn't do anything, why the hell is she dragging them into this?

This would be like if someone egged my house, and I discovered it happened to me because my neighbor stole that person's car. Why am I being punished for the actions of someone I have no choice but to know?

They are " dragging them into this" to try and make them stop imposing this on others. If everyone who thinks about doing this to people knows that if they do, their family, friends and neighbors will find out about it, maybe they wont do it in the first place? Maybe the frequency this happens will greatly reduce if they do. That is the point of it, it is to put a stop to it.

But again, this would be like me egging my girlfriend's brother's house if she cheated on me, and claiming that I'm doing it so she won't do it again. Granted, I'm being slightly melodramatic (seeing your brother's dick isn't as bad as getting your house egged) but you're still punishing someone who did nothing with the justification of "well it's ok because it'll make this happen less!".

But family members? They didn't do anything, why the hell is she dragging them into this?

Why did anyone drag her into this in the first place?

That makes no sense. I'm not justifying anyone sending her dick pics, I'm saying why punish the moms/sisters/aunts of these guys by sending them the dick pic (yes, I'd consider receiving a dick pic of my son/brother/nephew to be a shitty thing to have to experience) when they've done nothing?

This would be like if someone egged my house, and I discovered it happened to me because my neighbor stole that person's car. Why am I being punished for the actions of someone I have no choice but to know?

Being told the truth is not a form of punishment.

Then just tell the mother/sister/aunt what they've done. Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I think it's an excellent endeavor. Men often feel they have the right to make whatever sexual advances they like without consequence because they have have some notion of "that's just what men do" (it's not, it's something that assholes do, but such people don't realize that because they, themselves, are assholes). However, there are consequences for actions, or at least should be. Creepy people who send unsolicited pictures of their genitals should face negative consequences because maybe it will discourage them from doing those things in the future.

 

[JimB]

Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

People often need some form of evidence before they will accept a truth they don't want to hear. Sending them the dick pic isn't immediate evidence--that is, I doubt many of the women in question will demand the harasser drop trou and hold the pic up for comparison--but sending the image still adds credibility. Yeah, Ms. Sears might be faking it by sending a picture of another man's dick and attributing it to her victim, but why would she do that? Is it easier to believe this model picked you out of nowhere to plant seeds of discord in your family life by falsely accusing him, or that your brother/cousin/son is the kind of guy who sends dick pics to women who didn't ask for them? I think if a person is honest with herself, the answer is pretty clear.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

...wives, girlfriends, sisters, aunts, mothers the pictures with a message that they deserve better than this.

Wives and girlfriends, ok, because they're being informed that the guy they're seeing or married to is cheating on them (or at least trying to).

But family members? They didn't do anything, why the hell is she dragging them into this?

This would be like if someone egged my house, and I discovered it happened to me because my neighbor stole that person's car. Why am I being punished for the actions of someone I have no choice but to know?

They are " dragging them into this" to try and make them stop imposing this on others. If everyone who thinks about doing this to people knows that if they do, their family, friends and neighbors will find out about it, maybe they wont do it in the first place? Maybe the frequency this happens will greatly reduce if they do. That is the point of it, it is to put a stop to it.

But again, this would be like me egging my girlfriend's brother's house if she cheated on me, and claiming that I'm doing it so she won't do it again. Granted, I'm being slightly melodramatic (seeing your brother's dick isn't as bad as getting your house egged) but you're still punishing someone who did nothing with the justification of "well it's ok because it'll make this happen less!".

But family members? They didn't do anything, why the hell is she dragging them into this?

Why did anyone drag her into this in the first place?

That makes no sense. I'm not justifying anyone sending her dick pics, I'm saying why punish the moms/sisters/aunts of these guys by sending them the dick pic (yes, I'd consider receiving a dick pic of my son/brother/nephew to be a shitty thing to have to experience) when they've done nothing?

This would be like if someone egged my house, and I discovered it happened to me because my neighbor stole that person's car. Why am I being punished for the actions of someone I have no choice but to know?

Being told the truth is not a form of punishment.

Then just tell the mother/sister/aunt what they've done. Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

No, this is just like sending a news report of your family member being a flasher.. just like they do when someone IS a flasher..
http://amarillo.com/news/latest-news/2015-10-20/police-convenience-store-flasher-arrested
When someone does this in person, it is put on public display, their family, friends neighbors coworkers find out and they are arrested. This is no different. The family can have an option to view the photos if they like, they do not have to be forced to see them. She at least gives them the option she was denied by the men who do this.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

No, this is just like sending a news report of your family member is a flasher.. just like they do when someone IS a flasher..
http://amarillo.com/news/latest-news/2015-10-20/police-convenience-store-flasher-arrested
When someone does this in person, it is put on public display, their family, friends neighbors coworkers find out and they are arrested. This is no different. The family can have an option to view the photos if they like, they do not have to be forced to see them. She at least gives them the option she was denied by the men who do this.

I'd draw a comparison between being a random flasher and sending someone a dick pic to someone's personal account. It would be like me writing someone a nasty e-mail where I insult them vs. putting that same insulting message on a billboard. Granted, both are shitty, but they are still different. Also, I missed the part in that news story where they actually showed what the guy was flashing.

Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

Yeah, Ms. Sears might be faking it by sending a picture of another man's dick and attributing it to her victim, but why would she do that? Is it easier to believe this model picked you out of nowhere to plant seeds of discord in your family life by falsely accusing him, or that your brother/cousin/son is the kind of guy who sends dick pics to women who didn't ask for them? I think if a person is honest with herself, the answer is pretty clear.

I never even mentioned the idea that she might do this to lay false blame on someone, so I'm not sure where you're even pulling this from. And the solution is simple: tell them what they did, and if they don't believe you, THEN send them the pic.

Well, ok, the simplest solution is to not send dick pics, but you know what I mean.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

No, this is just like sending a news report of your family member is a flasher.. just like they do when someone IS a flasher..
http://amarillo.com/news/latest-news/2015-10-20/police-convenience-store-flasher-arrested
When someone does this in person, it is put on public display, their family, friends neighbors coworkers find out and they are arrested. This is no different. The family can have an option to view the photos if they like, they do not have to be forced to see them. She at least gives them the option she was denied by the men who do this.

I'd draw a comparison between being a random flasher and sending someone a dick pic to someone's personal account. It would be like me writing someone a nasty e-mail where I insult them vs. putting that same insulting message on a billboard. Granted, both are shitty, but they are still different. Also, I missed the part in that news story where they actually showed what the guy was flashing.

Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

Yeah, Ms. Sears might be faking it by sending a picture of another man's dick and attributing it to her victim, but why would she do that? Is it easier to believe this model picked you out of nowhere to plant seeds of discord in your family life by falsely accusing him, or that your brother/cousin/son is the kind of guy who sends dick pics to women who didn't ask for them? I think if a person is honest with herself, the answer is pretty clear.

I never even mentioned the idea that she might do this to lay false blame on someone, so I'm not sure where you're even pulling this from. And the solution is simple: tell them what they did, and if they don't believe you, THEN send them the pic.

Well, ok, the simplest solution is to not send dick pics, but you know what I mean.

No, it would not be like a billboard because it was directed at the person they are flashing. Often they walk right up to someone and flash them directly flashing is not streaking though similar... When I was flashed by that guy on 6th street, he was less than a foot from me when he opened his coat to specifically flash me. A billboard is more like streaking, the billboard would be comparable to posting your nudes online for the world to see instead of targeting someone specifically. The news report doesn't show what the guy was flashing, however, if the neighbors had a cellphone there at the time it happened, they very well may show his family what he did...
I think she gives the family the option to see the "proof" if they like, not forces it upon them as was done to her.

 

[JimB]

Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

Yeah, Ms. Sears might be faking it by sending a picture of another man's dick and attributing it to her victim, but why would she do that? Is it easier to believe this model picked you out of nowhere to plant seeds of discord in your family life by falsely accusing him, or that your brother/cousin/son is the kind of guy who sends dick pics to women who didn't ask for them? I think if a person is honest with herself, the answer is pretty clear.

I never even mentioned the idea that she might do this to lay false blame on someone, so I'm not sure where you're even pulling this from.

And I didn't say you said anything about false blame. Perhaps when you cut my paragraph for this quote, you missed the part where I was talking about how the picture is likely intended as evidence of something the receiver might not want to believe: I think it is pretty clear from context I am talking about the receiver's mindset, not yours.

 

[LetalisK]

I'm fine with this. I would say that I'd be surprised if it's not already considered sexual harassment, but laws are much slower than technology.

 

[Dragonlayer]

Ha! Nicely done. I'd say send it back to the owner's employer but I can't think of a decent way to get around the issue of sending someone a picture of a penis, with the message "This penis works for you, just trust me on that and tell the owner to cut this shit out."

 

[DudeistBelieve]

I tend to think if ya take nude pictures of yourself, you got no right to complain when they leak either through hacking or because the person you sent them to shared it. That's a gamble one plays.

And before someone gets on my case about it, no people shouldn't be doxxed and have their pictures shared. However the reality is we live a fucked up world where it does happen. I also shouldn't go to bed at night fearing a home invasion, but that's our broken fucking world.

So as for a woman going to that lengths to humiliate the guy? Absolutely fair in my opinion. Don't want it to happen? Theres ONE thing you gotta avoid doing, I don't think it's that unreasonable to say "Don't film yourself naked"

Or at very least, use a fucking analog camera instead of digital. Physical media is so much easier to keep protected.

 

[Something Amyss]

That makes no sense.

Especially when you cut the rest of the context.

Then just tell the mother/sister/aunt what they've done. Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

Serious question: have you never heard something about someone and thought "[so and so] would never do that?" This is a very common response to allegations out of the norm. Pictures are -AMAZING- when it comes to dealing with it.

People often need some form of evidence before they will accept a truth they don't want to hear. Sending them the dick pic isn't immediate evidence--that is, I doubt many of the women in question will demand the harasser drop trou and hold the pic up for comparison--but sending the image still adds credibility. Yeah, Ms. Sears might be faking it by sending a picture of another man's dick and attributing it to her victim, but why would she do that? Is it easier to believe this model picked you out of nowhere to plant seeds of discord in your family life by falsely accusing him, or that your brother/cousin/son is the kind of guy who sends dick pics to women who didn't ask for them? I think if a person is honest with herself, the answer is pretty clear.

...crap, seems I got here too late.

Oh well, umm...carry on.

I think it's an excellent endeavor. Men often feel they have the right to make whatever sexual advances they like without consequence because they have have some notion of "that's just what men do" (it's not, it's something that assholes do, but such people don't realize that because they, themselves, are assholes). However, there are consequences for actions, or at least should be. Creepy people who send unsolicited pictures of their genitals should face negative consequences because maybe it will discourage them from doing those things in the future.

Men are equated with assholes a lot. One would think more of them would object to such conflation.

I'm fine with this. I would say that I'd be surprised if it's not already considered sexual harassment, but laws are much slower than technology.

It is sexual harassment, but even older and more commonly considered forms of sexual harassment are often slow to be acted on. Add in that "lolinternet" is up there with "boys will be boys" (see above), and police forces are often ill-informed.

John Oliver did a segment on this on LWT (Trigger Warning, depictions of Anita Sarkeesian and Brianna Wu):

 

[Ihateregistering1]

That makes no sense.

Especially when you cut the rest of the context.

Then just tell the mother/sister/aunt what they've done. Why make them have the shitty experience of having to see their son/brother/nephew's dick?

Serious question: have you never heard something about someone and thought "[so and so] would never do that?" This is a very common response to allegations out of the norm. Pictures are -AMAZING- when it comes to dealing with it.

Of course. Then the solution is very simple: tell the person's mom/sister/aunt/whomever what the person did, and THEN if they don't believe you, show them the evidence.

 

[JimB]

So as for a woman going to that length to humiliate the guy? Absolutely fair in my opinion. Don't want it to happen? There's one thing you gotta avoid doing. I don't think it's that unreasonable to say "Don't film yourself naked."

No, no, no. No. Not filming themselves naked is not the thing they have to stop doing in order to stop being humiliated. They can film themselves naked all they want. What they have to stop doing is stop sending those pictures to a woman who didn't ask for them.

Please do not equate a woman mailing photos freely given to her back to the recipients and their family to a hacker stealing private information.

Tell the person's mom/sister/aunt/whomever what the person did, and then if they don't believe you, show them the evidence.

So in this scenario in your head, when a complete stranger e-mails you (or whatever) out of nowhere to tell you your relative is scum, you don't immediately block and report the person, but instead enter a conversation with her, providing her an opportunity to cite evidence to support her case?

Heh.

...crap, seems I got here too late.

Not at all. The more people who say it, the better. It might sink in with enough repetition.