Is this how we should handle Dick Pics?

[the December King]

I can't help feeling there's a bit of a double standard at play here. If a woman sent a man a naked picture and he sent it to her father, I expect the man would be ridiculed for being a misogynist creep. If it's wrong for a man to do, why is it okay for a woman to do it to a man? Surely it's wrong to do this irrespective of the genders of the parties involved? While I get the intent (humiliation can be a powerful tool in altering behaviour), I find myself troubled by the lack of consistency in responses.

It's only a double standard if we actually have the other thing to measure.

Right now it's a "what if" based on an "I expect".

No, a quick look at the news does show that women send unsolicited sexual pics, just not nearly as often as men.

http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/edward-snowden-plagued-with-unsolicited-nude-photos-of-women/

This article really seems to sum it up quite nicely:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/12/01/when-women-send-unsolicited-naked-pictures-it-isnt-revenge-its-harassment/

So where's the double standard? The post article was saying "sending unsolicited vulva pics is a bad, don't do that, it's like sending a dick pic."

... Yeah, sorry about that- you're right.

I'd like to see the solution to the problem made less sex- specific, I guess.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

This woman is some random stranger on the internet and this story makes for a feel good against harassment whether it's true or not but in no way is this a good idea.

Picture it likes this, would you want your friends or relatives trying to try and track down strangers who send them abuse? of course you wouldn't, if it's bad block, if it's really bad phone the police but more importantly try to avoid putting your real self out on sites beyond ones where you control who talks to you.

If this woman is real she probably got a lot more crap after this article, people will see this as a challenge.

You do not want to control who talks to you in the business community, that is why you want yourself to " be out there" for people to contact you for business. That is how she gets contacted for many job offers, like many people in the business world. Doctors, lawyers, scientists, professors, engineers, models, actors, musicians, investors, inventors, marketers and MANY more careers this is how you do business. Telling people to " control who contacts you" is telling them to hide and harm their careers. Women should be able to do the same as men in an online environment and expect to not be targeted just for doing so.

Yes this woman is for real, AND this was not the first time she advertised doing so and said the more that found out she was doing it, the LESS pictures she receives. Her actions actually reduced the number of people doing it, not increased it. They have to be willing to have their family and friends find out this is what they are doing.. most of the people who do this are not okay with that.

I do think her having to do all the work is too much of a hassle for one person though, that is why there needs to be a service for this...
I am sure they would make a killing as many women would be willing to pay to have this done for them to put a stop to it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

If you send a picture of your ween to a stranger, and that stranger does something unfortunate with it, doesn't the responsibility kind of begin with you?

The stranger didn't hack you.
The stranger didn't break into your home and steal it.
The stranger is a stranger, not a trusted friend who asked for a picture of your ween and then disseminated it.

Would you email your bank account information to a stranger? Probably not, right? If you did, and got robbed, would you cry about it? How surprising, on a scale of 1 to 10, would that result be?

The woman described in the OP is being vindictive, certainly, but that's the risk with strangers. You cannot predict their behavior. Perhaps the stranger you're sending your dick to will be impressed and down to fuck. Perhaps they'll be vindictive, and forward it to your mother. I'll leave it to the senders of dick pics to decide if that's the kind of gamble they find invigorating.

 

[Quellist]

You know what? Any guy who sends unsolicited dick pics to someone deserves pretty much whatever happens next. If someone is too ignorant to understand this fact then i have zero sympathy for them.

 

[s0denone]

If you send a picture of your ween to a stranger, and that stranger does something unfortunate with it, doesn't the responsibility kind of begin with you?

The stranger didn't hack you.
The stranger didn't break into your home and steal it.
The stranger is a stranger, not a trusted friend who asked for a picture of your ween and then disseminated it.

Would you email your bank account information to a stranger? Probably not, right? If you did, and got robbed, would you cry about it? How surprising, on a scale of 1 to 10, would that result be?

The woman described in the OP is being vindictive, certainly, but that's the risk with strangers. You cannot predict their behavior. Perhaps the stranger you're sending your dick to will be impressed and down to fuck. Perhaps they'll be vindictive, and forward it to your mother. I'll leave it to the senders of dick pics to decide if that's the kind of gamble they find invigorating.

Well put. I wasn't really sure what to think of the woman in the OP, but you described my feelings quite perfectly by describing your own.

I wouldn't want the women to share the picture with anyone, just like I wouldn't want a man sharing unsolicited photos, but at the end of the day you can't blame them - only the idiots that send the photos.

 

[Redryhno]

Well, since I've been inundated with replies to this(as in, I now have an entire page of my "quoted" part of my inbox on this), I'm just going to use this as a general reply.

I will no longer go against the apparent hivemind of these forums out loud. It's honestly too much trouble to voice your opinion without being attacked anymore once a thread has attracted one section of morals/politics/etc and you do not hold the same values/opinion/etc.

Call me a raging man-child that quit in response or whatever the insult of the week is, but I'm personally done with this topic. Too much annoyance for too little gain. Much like anyone that says this should be the new standard.

So, in essence, you want to do this in response to dick pics, go right on ahead, but I'm still gonna put you right up there with the dick pic'ers in terms of unneeded dickery.

 

[DementedSheep]

Well, since I've been inundated with replies to this(as in, I now have an entire page of my "quoted" part of my inbox on this), I'm just going to use this as a general reply.

I will no longer go against the apparent hivemind of these forums out loud. It's honestly too much trouble to voice your opinion without being attacked anymore once a thread has attracted one section of morals/politics/etc and you do not hold the same values/opinion/etc.

Call me a raging man-child that quit in response or whatever the insult of the week is, but I'm personally done with this topic. Too much annoyance for too little gain. Much like anyone that says this should be the new standard.

So, in essence, you want to do this in response to dick pics, go right on ahead, but I'm still gonna put you right up there with the dick pic'ers in terms of unneeded dickery.

"A lot of people disagree with me, wahhh hivemind". Perhaps you would feel better making a blog and disabling the comments.

 

[DoPo]

Well, since I've been inundated with replies to this(as in, I now have an entire page of my "quoted" part of my inbox on this)

Nah, man are you really giving a shit? I thought you shouldn't be giving a shit. It's just some replies over the internet - laugh and forget about it right?

Oh...doesn't really work... And you were such a big supporter of it.

It looks suspiciously like you're not practising what you preach.

 

[s0denone]

"A lot of people disagree with me, wahhh hivemind". Perhaps you would feel better making a blog and disabling the comments.

You know, I was going to report your post because it contributes nothing, but then it actually made me laugh so I can't do it.

To add a little to the discussion myself, I can actually feel Redryhnos pain. I don't have any issue simply ignoring replies and stopping my own responding (or even blocking users), but it can sometimes feel like people like ganging up on your on this forum. There is a tendency to jump in the midst of something and do the good old "quote-mining" to throw them an asinine one-sentence response, or indeed use a very small fraction of their post to establish a strawmen argument that is then pulled apart in a massive rebuttal.

I'm not sure that is what happened here, but if it has happened to redryhno here before, I wouldn't blame him for simply letting it go.

...And I'm not sure you should be trashing him for replying here, saying that he wouldn't reply further. That's better than pulling a Houdini, isn't it? Better than not having written anything at all? I know I respect it a lot more and have even done it myself on there forums, recently.

 

[JimB]

Actually I generally delete any e-mails or messages I receive from complete strangers.

Sounds like the women you're so worried about being dragged against their will into the knowledge that their male relative is a harasser have a way to opt out of the knowledge, then.

I bow before your superior intellect, oh Smug Overlord.

Accusing me of being smug isn't quite the sting you think it is, since I already believe I am right about this.

Essentially, you're taking intimate images of people and distributing them to people who the author never gave permission for.

I am really not sure how you can argue that a harasser has an expectation of privacy regarding the harassing images he freely gave to someone else.

The harassers are the ones making the choice to expose their cocks to the world. Ms. Sears is just reminding these men that the world also happens to contain their wives, girlfriends, and mothers, and they can see the cocks too.

Your job is to look sexy, to be honest I class you about the same as a prostitute...you're selling your body for cash.

Ignoring that you clearly have no idea what skills are necessary to be a successful model, by your rubric, Olympic athletes are also prostitutes, selling the performance of their bodies for cash.

I can't help feeling there's a bit of a double standard at play here. If a woman sent a man a naked picture and he sent it to her father, I expect the man would be ridiculed for being a misogynist creep. If it's wrong for a man to do, why is it okay for a woman to do it to a man?

You will have to point to an instance of this actually happening. I am not willing to say that people are being hypocrites because in the imaginary scenario I just created in my head I imagined them doing something hypocritical.

Would you want your friends or relatives trying to try and track down strangers who send them abuse? Of course you wouldn't.

Yes, I would. I'd be cheering them on from the corner, and hovering over their shoulder trying to learn ways to help. Abusers must not be allowed to get away with their attacks.

I don't have any issue simply ignoring replies and stopping my own responding (or even blocking users), but it can sometimes feel like people like ganging up on you on this forum.

Sometimes, when you say on a public discussion forum that women who are being harassed online need to shut up and take the abuse silently, the public will want to discuss that.

 

[DementedSheep]

"A lot of people disagree with me, wahhh hivemind". Perhaps you would feel better making a blog and disabling the comments.

You know, I was going to report your post because it contributes nothing, but then it actually made me laugh so I can't do it.

To add a little to the discussion myself, I can actually feel Redryhnos pain. I don't have any issue simply ignoring replies and stopping my own responding (or even blocking users), but it can sometimes feel like people like ganging up on your on this forum. There is a tendency to jump in the midst of something and do the good old "quote-mining" to throw them an asinine one-sentence response, or indeed use a very small fraction of their post to establish a strawmen argument that is then pulled apart in a massive rebuttal.

I'm not sure that is what happened here, but if it has happened to redryhno here before, I wouldn't blame him for simply letting it go.

...And I'm not sure you should be trashing him for replying here, saying that he wouldn't reply further. That's better than pulling a Houdini, isn't it? Better than not having written anything at all? I know I respect it a lot more and have even done it myself on there forums, recently.

Not replying is fine, I've had this happened as well where I was just sick of it and stopped replying. Perhaps I was a little harsh but I what find annoying is when people start throwing around "hivemind", "hugbox" and "thought police" whenever they find themselves not in the majority.

 

[s0denone]

Sometimes, when you say on a public discussion forum that women who are being harassed online need to shut up and take the abuse silently, the public will want to discuss that.

Oh, absolutely. It is a public forum and one should be prepared for people to indeed voice potential displeasure with ones posts - but that isn't what I'm talking about, so I don't really see the relevance.

Not replying is fine, I've had this happened as well where I was just sick of it and stopped replying. Perhaps I was a little harsh but I what find annoying is when people start throwing around "hivemind", "hugbox" and "thought police" whenever they find themselves not in the majority.

I totally understand and I would be inclined to agree... But that doesn't change the fact that in the moment, for Redryhno, it probably felt like that. If you're gone for an hour and come back and there's 4, 5, 6 or 7 people all replying to your same post, all disagreeing in the same way, it is quite clearly and uphill battle to continue posting in that same thread.

I actually like the Escapist. I think for all the bile and stupid shit that is said here (and it is a lot) there are also some legitimately interesting discussions being had. The fact that people do the "quote-mining"(I hope I'm using that term properly) and ganging up on other users is just cheap and creates an environment not conducive to debate.

Redryhno is allowed and opinion just as you are allowed to disagree... Just like he is allowed not wanting to respond if all he is getting is negative backlash - and like I said, to me it is much better to at least give a head's up rather than doing a Houdini.

 

[omega 616]

snip

Come on, I watched a documentary on hand models, I shit you not.

They had to rub lotion on them, keep their nails trimmed, make sure they don't get scars ... and be on time? Then they held products on shoot for a few hours then went home and wait for their agent to call with another job.

People make out it's a hard job but compared to other jobs, are you serious? I'd bet being a cashier is a harder job.

 

[Something Amyss]

... Yeah, sorry about that- you're right.

I'd like to see the solution to the problem made less sex- specific, I guess.

Unfortunately, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. When the primary perpetrators are overwhelmingly male, there's going to a focus on the "dick pic."

...though even that's not entirely true, since sexually explicit images are already considered harassment.

You forgot the 3 most important things...power, a big bank account, and the guy's popularity with other ladies.

What she forgot is that women aren't a hive mind. But if you think the most important things are power, a bank account, and looks, you likely have forgotten this, too.

[If she's living in an area where it's not against the law, I still think the authorities should be involved. If only to establish a precedence of the problem. "Hey chief, look, we're getting like 3000 dick pic complaints a month, we really need to do something about this. The air is full of dicks flying back and forth! It's like a dickpocalypse out there!" and maybe then the various legal agencies would take it more seriously, and pass laws.

Except we have laws here, and very little is generally done.

To add a little to the discussion myself, I can actually feel Redryhnos pain. I don't have any issue simply ignoring replies and stopping my own responding (or even blocking users), but it can sometimes feel like people like ganging up on your on this forum. There is a tendency to jump in the midst of something and do the good old "quote-mining" to throw them an asinine one-sentence response, or indeed use a very small fraction of their post to establish a strawmen argument that is then pulled apart in a massive rebuttal.

I would hope then, that you A. wouldn't go on the attack, accusing others of a hive mind, and B. might treat this as a learning experience, given you've been part of those blocks of people before.

And this isn't complaining or slamming you, because I don't give a shit. Ten people reply to me, I'll reply to all ten if I have anything to say in response. But you've done that stuff in the past, from partaking in large blocks of people quoting to one-liner quote mining. And my advice would be that if you don't like it...don't do it.

I'd apply the same to Rhyno, but I doubt he's still listening.

Picture it likes this, would you want your friends or relatives trying to try and track down strangers who send them abuse? of course you wouldn't, if it's bad block, if it's really bad phone the police but more importantly try to avoid putting your real self out on sites beyond ones where you control who talks to you.

Given your solution appears to be for women to lock themselves away from social and business interaction on the web (which has a real-world parallel), I'm even more inclined to advocate my relatives fight. That's really no way to live.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I actually like the Escapist. I think for all the bile and stupid shit that is said here (and it is a lot) there are also some legitimately interesting discussions being had. The fact that people do the "quote-mining"(I hope I'm using that term properly) and ganging up on other users is just cheap and creates an environment not conducive to debate.

If by "quote mining" you mean sectioning off a portion of someone's post for response, that's just clarity in communication. It's drawing attention to what you're replying to, and making it the focus of future replies. Often accusations will fly around that someone has "skipped past the meat of a post" or "is ducking all these amazing points", but people tend to overrate their arguments and think if they're getting called out on an inconsistency or controversial point that there's some kind of unfair targeted attack taking place, when really people are just trimming the verge.

Redryhno is allowed and opinion just as you are allowed to disagree... Just like he is allowed not wanting to respond if all he is getting is negative backlash - and like I said, to me it is much better to at least give a head's up rather than doing a Houdini.

Redryhno absconding from a conversation he wasn't enjoying is both sane and mature. Stopping in to get the last sniffy word before flouncing away in a huff, less so. Generally you'll find that the people who see "hive minds" everywhere tend to hold wildly contentious or unusual beliefs. This does not make them automatically wrong, but they might benefit from self-analysis when determining why they're constantly getting dog piled in public discourse, rather than concluding that they are the victims of "hive minds" or other forms of public collusion. Particularly when those same individuals have populated the thread with impassioned advice to "let things go" and let unpleasant interactions on the internet wash off one's back rather than engaging or firing back shots of one's own. Or else one might be called out with an unpleasant term. It starts with an H!

It's Hermaphrodite!

No I'm kidding it's hypocrite.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Well, since I've been inundated with replies to this(as in, I now have an entire page of my "quoted" part of my inbox on this), I'm just going to use this as a general reply.

I will no longer go against the apparent hivemind of these forums out loud. It's honestly too much trouble to voice your opinion without being attacked anymore once a thread has attracted one section of morals/politics/etc and you do not hold the same values/opinion/etc.

Call me a raging man-child that quit in response or whatever the insult of the week is, but I'm personally done with this topic. Too much annoyance for too little gain. Much like anyone that says this should be the new standard.

So, in essence, you want to do this in response to dick pics, go right on ahead, but I'm still gonna put you right up there with the dick pic'ers in terms of unneeded dickery.

You know this would look maybe a bit better if the reason you gave didn't just sum up to "A lot of people posted disagreeing with me." That's what happens on a forum. I'm not sure what's supposed to be so terrible about it that you get all passive aggressive with the 'hivemind' stuff.

Well, since I've been inundated with replies to this(as in, I now have an entire page of my "quoted" part of my inbox on this)

Nah, man are you really giving a shit? I thought you shouldn't be giving a shit. It's just some replies over the internet - laugh and forget about it right?

Oh...doesn't really work... And you were such a big supporter of it.

It looks suspiciously like you're not practising what you preach.

It also actually garnered him more replies than if he didn't try to have a go at people for replying with their disagreement.

...And I'm not sure you should be trashing him for replying here, saying that he wouldn't reply further. That's better than pulling a Houdini, isn't it? Better than not having written anything at all? I know I respect it a lot more and have even done it myself on there forums, recently.

Not really depending on the tone of it. There's a bit of accusation in there with the 'hivemind' bit. It's a tad passive agressive and critical of people for... well apparently just disagreeing with him in too high of a number. A graceful departure doesn't involve throwing out more criticisms as you retreat. That's more trying to have the last word then shutting the door so you don't hear the replies to it.

Anyways, on to the topic, I approve of what she's doing. Bringing home consequences for shitty actions will make at least some jackasses reconsider. There's bound to be a fair amount of cowards in there.

 

[MHR]

This sounds good to me. More heads should roll over this kind of bullshit. Get everyone in trouble with everyone. I'm not joking.

Women don't like getting dick pics, men don't like having everyone give them shit for having sent dick pics. Eye for an eye.

Though I for one wouldn't mind getting all the vag shots. It's a like vs not like issue.

 

[DoPo]

You forgot the 3 most important things...power, a big bank account, and the guy's popularity with other ladies.

What she forgot is that women aren't a hive mind. But if you think the most important things are power, a bank account, and looks, you likely have forgotten this, too.

So-o-o, you're claiming that women are not a hivemind, eh? That's exactly what a hivemind would claim to hide itself from us completely individually minded males. Thus proving that you are indeed a hivemind.

Logic!

 

[s0denone]

I would hope then, that you A. wouldn't go on the attack, accusing others of a hive mind, and B. might treat this as a learning experience, given you've been part of those blocks of people before.

I don't think I've accused anyone of any such things, nor am I treating this as a learning experience in the slightest. If I have been a part of "those people" it is either a clear oversight and mistake on my part, or a knee-jerk counter-reaction to me seeing it happening unfairly.

And this isn't complaining or slamming you, because I don't give a shit. Ten people reply to me, I'll reply to all ten if I have anything to say in response. But you've done that stuff in the past, from partaking in large blocks of people quoting to one-liner quote mining. And my advice would be that if you don't like it...don't do it.

It is certainly possible that I've done what I describe in the past. If I have done it recently (as in upon my most recent return) I profusely apologise, because doing that shit is really quite low. Maybe I ought to mention that I had your user ignored when I returned aswell, but it was problematic with how many threads your were partaking in, that I was reading (if not participating myself) that I simply un-ignored you for convenience and haven't looked back.

Generally I would like to think that I practice what I preach. Either way, two wrongs don't make a right. I would prefer it if you didn't make this personally about me though, just like I didn't mention any names nor will talk about you, as I don't think that has any relevance in this forum. Write me a PM if you must.

 

[Areloch]

Frankly, if it's a problem, she should be handling it through the proper channels.

"Taking matters into your own hands" is something USUALLY frowned upon. And I have doubts she's doing this without any sort of vindictive motivation to harm the people doing it as opposed to merely getting them to stop.

Should she be getting dick pics at all? Nope. But all the same, generally there are proper channels to handle this and it's usually better to go through them.

I'm disagreeable to anyone trying to out or shame someone for ostensibly bad behavior that doesn't put anyone in direct harm's way because it oftentimes yields internet hate mobs, lost jobs and an entire crapfest that leaves everyone collectively worse off than before.