Hmm I understand that it can be frustrating, but as usual you are going too overboard with the topic in one direction and missing the point. To be clear, Ludo-Narrative Dissonance literally means a conflict between the game and the narrative of such game.
Many people have pointed out the Ludo-narrative Dissonance in Bioshock, present in the fact that you steal coins and eat food out off trash cans as you well mention, but ALSO present in the fact that for example, Elizabeth turns invisible to the enemies in combat, which is specially odd when she is supposed to be what they are searching. Of course having to escort her could be annoying, but it still conflicts with the world that they have built.
There is also a Stylistic narrative dissonance, Elizabeth has highly caricaturesque features (its clear to see that her original design fit better with the tone of the game, but was less charming), but the world presents very gruesome violence, she is reminiscent of a Disney character while the world is full of over the top violence. There are also smaller details, like the fact that there are weapon and vigor vendors all over the place, but only versy specific militarized forces seem to have any access to them, just opposite to plasmids that composed an integral part of Rapture, Vigors seem superfluous and wanton. Similarly, the almost arcade-ish, seemingly endless waves of enemies that you have to kill in sections that tend to lose focus of the serious story that the game is trying to tell, even if it is a story about violence and trauma (although arguably, it is more a story about loss than anything else JIM).
In fact, for me, this was the biggest issue, not directly about violence but about the structure of the game. Bioshock Infinite has a terrible problem with things being there"just because", none of the story really leads anywhere until the ending, where the game actually shows its cards. And the issue is that at that point, in which most of the combat is done ( and 10+ hours have passed) you realize that there is a profound disconnect between the story the game wanted to tell, and how it actually came around to tell it.
Of course, none of this means that the game is bad, and a lot of it is clearly designed to make the game more fun and enjoyable. But that is the point of the criticism, we are reaching the stage in evolution in which sometimes "game-like" design decisions are playing against the narrative of a the game as a whole, and it is a very real conflict. Dismissing it all because "people are trying to sound smart" is a pretty defensive and plain silly reaction.
In fact, I'd say that we shouldn't be so defensive in general. Even though I LOVED the hell out of TLOU, I agree that in some sections there was a lot of ludo-narrative dissonance, some related to violence and some to other issues.
-mild spoilers- For example, the section where you fall into the refrigerator trap, or the section where you take over the sniper rifle and provide cover fire, both give you endless ammo for you, of course this is not extremely important, but for a game that worked so hard to sett a sense of scarcity and urgency, these bits did damage the overall appeal. In the same way, occasionally there are a number of areas that you can inspect thoroughly, only to find that enemies will spawn out of nowhere only after you press a switch (or open a door, or turn on a generator), shattering the illusion of the organic world and turning it into a chain of interconnected monster closets.
And finally, for me the most offensive aspect of ludo-narrative dissonance in the Last of Us, was the collectibles, the fact that the game is clearly heavily invested in you following a story but still puts hidden collectibles in even some of the most dramatic passages of the game, creating a severe conflict between following the story or following the game.
I know this is a generalization, but all in all, it seems that since games are delving into more and more serious topics narratively speaking, we are still stuck in some very standard Game-like mechanics that seem to be placed in there to please the "target demographic". Personally I do think that the excess in combat and violence in Bioshock did dilute the final punch of the story, and the more gamey The last of us became, the more it pushed me out of its otherwise brilliantly crafted universe. And it's not bad that people are recognizing this, it's something developers have to tackle, so even if some people use the term for basically anything, it doesn't mean that it doesn't have some truth to it.
