Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum

ChaoticKraus

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I'm gonna be honest, this is the 2nd best DF LP i've ever read. Surpassed only by the epic of Boatmurdered.

Funny how you keep attracting Forgotten Beasts but then manage to dispose of them with little trouble. Guess that's the bonus of having your army train every waking moment the whole year round. :)

Also, it would be kind to add my name to the dwarfication list. I'll keep an eye on the thread to see if i pop up. Even if i end up as a hauler or suicide squadder i will still be immortalized in 1,s and 0,s.
 

Internet Kraken

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aTolyK said:
That's fine with me.
I'm not being very clear I guess. XD
What are my skills, as in "Legendary Potash Maker" (yikes) or "Great Mechanic" (Good). I mean from Dwarf Therapist.
Cowabungaa said:
Oh my, the goblins have discovered the magic that is arrows! I'm quite surprised that you haven't trained archers already, they suplement your moat so well.

Also, I see that I've been dwarf-fied in the last migrant wave. Care to show me my dwarf and his/her skills? Did he/she actually survive that surprise arrow volley into the fortress?
Right, I'll try and fulfill these two requests later today. I would've done it earlier, but I'm a lazy moron.

fanklok said:
Right, haven't been following very well but in the bit I actually read nothing was killed by magma. And there where no needlessly complex contraptions that are more a danger to the dwarves operating them then anything their supposed to kill.

In short, your a terrible dwarf.
I have water. That's almost like magma.

Okay, not it's not. I'm going to be dead honest and admit I've done almost nothing with magma throughout my entire time playing DF. The reason being I've nver embarked on a volcano or found magma pools, so my only source was the magma sea. Using that for anything other than forges would require a stupidly large pump stack which isn't an easy thing to build when your fortress is crumbling into ruin.

Double A said:
Do you actually record the date, or just make up random days?
I write the text as I play the game, so yes, the dates listed are almost always the actual ingame dates on which each event occured/I bothered to write about it. Almost. On rare occasions I change for a variety of different reasons.
 

Double A

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If it's crumbling into ruin because of something other than magma, you're not doing it right!

:p
 

Internet Kraken

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Mar 18, 2009
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aTolyK said:
That's fine with me.
I'm not being very clear I guess. XD
What are my skills, as in "Legendary Potash Maker" (yikes) or "Great Mechanic" (Good). I mean from Dwarf Therapist.


Those are some quality skills right there. You'll do fine!


Cowabungaa said:
Also, I see that I've been dwarf-fied in the last migrant wave. Care to show me my dwarf and his/her skills? Did he/she actually survive that surprise arrow volley into the fortress?


Better than most Steamy Tours actually. With only one arm though you might not do much. But look at it this way; if you do accomplish something, it will be a dozen times more awesome due to the aforementioned missing arm.

Double A said:
If it's crumbling into ruin because of something other than magma, you're not doing it right!

:p
Of course I wasn't doing it right, given that the fortress fell apart due to a compeltley broken creature I modded improperly due to my idiocy.
 

Cowabungaa

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Internet Kraken said:
Better than most Steamy Tours actually. With only one arm though you might not do much. But look at it this way; if you do accomplish something, it will be a dozen times more awesome due to the aforementioned missing arm.
Ouch, when did that happen, during the goblin siege? Well at least I survived I guess. I hope that lost arm wasn't for nothing, he better make up for it!

So anyway, I guess that you're going through with your super-destructo trap of d00m?
 

Internet Kraken

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Cowabungaa said:
Internet Kraken said:
Better than most Steamy Tours actually. With only one arm though you might not do much. But look at it this way; if you do accomplish something, it will be a dozen times more awesome due to the aforementioned missing arm.
Ouch, when did that happen, during the goblin siege? Well at least I survived I guess. I hope that lost arm wasn't for nothing, he better make up for it!
I'm pretty sure I mentioned in the last update that the Forgotten Beast of the month tore your arm off. It's okay though, since another dwarf in the same squad lost his arm in the same exact way. You two can be friends and then die horribly together.
 

Internet Kraken

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Chapter 59: From the journal of Goden Ducimtathtak


__________________________________________________

26th Malachite, 1055, Mid-Summer



The goblins have forced us to barricade ourselves inside the foodstockpile, the only place on the surface safe from their crossbowmen. The majority of the surface, being exposed to the crossbowmen, is a deathtrap. With such an unorthodox fortress design, it's no wonder such flaws went unnoticed. Many of the dwarves feel that Stinthad is to blame for all of this, and I'd say some are close to rioting. As captain of the fortress guard, it is my duty to maintain the peace in such a dire situation. Stinthad has made mistakes, no doubt about that, but even I can not blame her for the current situation. Nobody saw it coming.

If anything, I'm more responsible. The gods warned me of impending disaster, but I was not able to figure out what they meant until it was too late. I must redeem myself in their eyes, and to do so Reveredtour must defeat these filthy goblins. Stinthad has cracked under the amount of stress and guilt she feels at the moment, so I am in control of the fort.

Now I just need to figure out what to do.

Oh, and a more minor note, a baby known as Woots as grown old enough to become an independent child.



As a child, Woots is now capable of understanding the incredible amount of danger we are experiencing at the moment. As a result, her birthday was not a happy one.

27th Malachite, 1055, Mid-Summer

Okay, I have come up with a plan. As per standard lockdown protocol, the bridge connecting Reveredtour to the wasteland was lowered, preventing direct access to the fort. Not only is this an excellent form of defense, but it can also be used as a trap.

Simply put, the bridge shall be lowered, allowing access to the fort. When the invaders attempt to cross the bridge, it shall be lowered. Anyone standing on it will meet certain doom in the murky waters below. It's an obvious trap, but the goblins bloodlust will most likely cause them to overlook this.

One might wonder why we didn't do this in the first place, and the reason is simple; it is incredibly risky. One has to be quick when pulling the lever to make sure no goblin makes it across the bridge. If for whatever reason the lever is not pulled in time, the entire army will pour in. Hence why the labyrinth of drowning was a better option. However, with no other way to repel the invaders, it is our only option.

Now I just need to find someone to pull the lever.



28th Malachite, 1055, Mid-Summer

Most of the dwarves were nervous about my plan, so of course finding someone to pull the lever was not easy. Many of the soldiers were willing to do so, but I needed them to stay on guard in case the worst scenario should become a reality. In the end a dwarf named Wolfe was the only civilian willing to pull the lever.



The fate of Reveredtour rests in her hands.

1st Galena, 1055, Late Summer



The bridge has been lowered. Reveredtour is once again accessible. The goblin scouts immediately reported this information back to the squad commanders, who are now moving towards Reveredtour intent on slaughtering us all.



Even I'm nervous. I wish I could talk to the gods right now. They could ease my fears. But alas, their voices are but faint whispers in the back of my head. I will need to double my prayers to them after this.

2nd Galena, 1055, Late Summer



A troll rushed ahead of the invading forces and attempted to cross the bridge on its own. It was but one troll, but I had no choice but to order the bridge dropped as we could not risk any conflict occurring near the moat at the moment.

However, Wolfe failed miserably. The simple task of pulling a lever was too much for her and as a result the troll was able to enter Reveredtour. This would have been a lot worse if rather than a single troll it was, oh say, the entire goblin army. Perhaps Wolfe should keep that in mind next time I give her the order to pull the lever.

But for now, I'm keeping the bridge lowered until the troll is dealt with. Fortunately, the troll did not charge straight towards the civilians and instead is smashing the statues decorating the fort entrance.



Of course there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. Trolls may appear to be nothing more than bloodthirsty brutes, but when they are not ripping apart their enemies they actually serve as excellent architects and interior decorators. Trolls have a natural inclination towards fashion and design. It is they that design and build the massive obsidian towers the goblins dwell in. When they see something they consider to be ugly, it deeply offends them and they can't resist the urge to destroy it. Evidently this troll is not a fan of Stinthad's decision to place statues upon the entrance walls. Or the eyesore that is a microline fortress sent them into an uncontrollable rage.

Ultimately it doesn't matter though. Fighting this troll upon the fortress walls will be tricky with little room to work with, and thus not a task suited for an entire squad. So I shall slay this troll myself!



3rd Galena, 1055, Late Summer

Oh, this isn't good. It seems the goblins decided to fire another volley of arrows. Most of the dwarves were tucked away safely inside the food stockpile, but those outside for whatever reason are now under fire.

Me included. I managed to crawl away but-



Urgh...this is bad. What am I to do now? Need to think...



Are...are those idiots trying to party? They're partying during an invasion?

...I don't even know what to say about that.

3rd Galena, 1055, Late Summer



You fools, why are you running? Stop it! Get back in the food stockpile! You're going to get shot like me!



Yeah, like that. But unlike me, you'll die. STOP LEAVING SAFETY TO GO PARTY OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE TRYING TO DO!!!




These idiots are running to their death for no damn reason. When I got hit in the gut I had enough sense to head back into the foodstockpile where I can't be turned into a pincushion. These morons just run straight into a volley of bolts after getting hit. Gods give me strength, I don't think I can save this mess.

3rd Galena, 1055, Late Summer

I take back almost every negative thing I said about Stinthad's leadership. She's naive and makes some foolish decisions, but I think most of the disasters that have occurred aren't her fault. I just realized that almost all of the dwarves living here are truly idiotic. Had the original founders of the Relieved Craft been ruling over these dwarves, they would've been wiped out in the first siege. Nobody could get these idiots to be effective.

They can't pull a lever quickly, even when it's the only thing I've told them to do. They can't stay put inside a safe bunker, and instead run outside and die. They try to party during invasions. And they try to wrestle trolls.



She's certainly no Alath. She's basically guaranteed to die, and it's her own fucking fault for trying to wrestle a troll while goblins shoot bolts at every square inch of the fort. At least she'll die quickly rather than wasting away in the hospital being useless.



Yeah, no surprise there.

To make matters worse, one of the goblin commanders just fucking waltzed into the fort because once again Wolfe was too stupid to figure out how to pull the lever properly.



Some of his subordinates didn't make it across the bridge in time, but we still have to deal with him. In the middle of an arrow barrage. I hope the military can use their shields properly. Oh wait, they don't have shields because the forge masters never produced enough metal to make some equipment before disaster struck. The best they have are those bucklers Stinthad always ordered to be made.

Speaking of Stinthad, she's currently huddled in the corner crying. I don't blame her either. It's tempting just to hurl myself into the ocean so I don't have to deal with any of this anymore. But the gods frown upon suicide. They want me to save this fort, and dammit I'm going to try.

4th Galena, 1055, Late Summer

So the military charged out to engage the goblin leader, despite the volley of arrows they would have to endure. Of course with so many soldiers it was inevitable that some would managed to avoid being hit and engage the leader. Unfortunately for commander Cog, that goblin was called a pikemaster for a reason.



The Steamy Tours is going to need a new commander. Of course, the rest of the soldiers were enraged by the sight of their commander being struck down, and swarmed the goblin. They tore apart his beak dog mount, and then began hacking him apart.



He was certainly skilled, but quantity generally beats quality.



Of course during the course of this battle about half the military has been wounded in some way. So half our fighting force is close to passing out and we've taken out one goblin squad. This is not going well.



And a dwarf bled to death because of his wounds. I fear this is going to happen several more times over the next few days.

On a more positive note, the animals inhabiting the moat have done a wonderful job killing the invaders that have fallen into it. The alligator we got from the elves has been particularly effective.



__________________________________________________

This is a fucking disaster. I literally have no clue what to do. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.

So if you have some brilliant idea about how to save the fortress, spit it out.
 

vallorn

Tunnel Open, Communication Open.
Nov 18, 2009
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send Goden out with the other soldiers next time... shes got TWO ARTIFACT WEAPONS GODDANGIT!

failing that... abandon and reclaim the fort or start again in this thread when ReveredTour dies.
 

hazabaza1

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Nov 26, 2008
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I think the only obvious choice is to lure out a forgotten beast to kill them.
[sub][sub]Wait, you can't do that? Shit. Uhhhh...[/sub][/sub]
Failing that, Zerg Rush?

I have no tactical ideas whatsoever. My apologies.
 

sharpshot

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Feb 11, 2009
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Well... Your in a pretty tight spot as long as your being pelted by arrows. You need to do something about that. Can you make a mad rush to the caverns? If you can get down there and dig out a temporary shelter (Which can later be turned into a farmer's burrow.), then you gain the time you need to properly take care of this goblin issue.
 

Double A

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Hide underground, wall off from the surface. When all the goblins get on your blue thing, undermine them so they fall into the sea.
 

Double A

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And if it makes you feel any better, I once lost a fort to an ambush of 6 goblins.
 

Double A

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That would be pretty cool if he pulled it off.

Or maybe he could lure half a dozen of the forgotten beasts to the surface.
 

Internet Kraken

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There's a reason I didn't herd everyone underground in the first place; no food. The food stockpile is hardly the safest place in the fort, as evidenced by this update, but if I didn't have everyone hunker down in there I'd be facing the problem of starvation.

There is some hope though; goblins tend to disperse after taking casualties. Assuming there's nothing nearby to keep them round, goblins will often pull back after enough of their troops have fallen. I don't know if we've killed enough of them for a retreat, but it may work. Also, I think most of the crossbowmen have run out of bolts. Which sounds good, but then you realize that most of those bolts are lodged in dwarfs. But at least they don't have more to fire.

Maybe.

So yeah, there's a slim chance for survival, but the fort is still a mess. So if I do survive expect the next few updates to have a lot of death and me getting pissed off because holy fuck why don't these idiots stay where I tell them to.
 

Engarde

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The_root_of_all_evil said:
There's a plan...but it's slightly risky...It involves clowns...
This man is a genius and should be rewarded with many medals.

Internet Kraken said:
There's a reason I didn't herd everyone underground in the first place; no food. The food stockpile is hardly the safest place in the fort, as evidenced by this update, but if I didn't have everyone hunker down in there I'd be facing the problem of starvation.

There is some hope though; goblins tend to disperse after taking casualties. Assuming there's nothing nearby to keep them round, goblins will often pull back after enough of their troops have fallen. I don't know if we've killed enough of them for a retreat, but it may work. Also, I think most of the crossbowmen have run out of bolts. Which sounds good, but then you realize that most of those bolts are lodged in dwarfs. But at least they don't have more to fire.

Maybe.

So yeah, there's a slim chance for survival, but the fort is still a mess. So if I do survive expect the next few updates to have a lot of death and me getting pissed off because holy fuck why don't these idiots stay where I tell them to.
I must say I am sad to see the possible destruction of Reveredtour. I should have mentioned this, but I tried building a my own fort on a lake. Same thing happened. Goddamn archers. Might have been good to warn you about that.
 

Spacewolf

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looks like you could be in trouble here, i recentl started a new fortress since i found out my laptop runs DF better than my PC anyway i now have an arena with a cyclops and a bronze collosus ready to kill anythng dropped in
 

repeating integers

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At least the animals in the moat are killing goblins and their beasts. Too bad that lever-dwarf was so stupid, though.

No ideas here, sorry. Good luck.