Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
- Thread starter Internet Kraken
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The problem with that is that that's where all the bugs and the complaints usually come in. If you're working with a unintuitive, tough system then you know that all the people coming in want it to work, and will provide good feedback.boholikeu said:
If it's all shiny and pretty, it will just be moans about "WHY CAN'T I CHOOSE TO HAVE ALL MALE DWARVES? MY BEST COOK IS A WOMAN, THAT@S SEXIST!" etc.
Clunky works for me. Try it.
I make sure to mention every single dwarf death in the update, so you are still alive. Thankfully the text for death is fuchsia so you won't miss a death in the constant waves of "Urist McStupid cancels build important wall: Interrupted by goblin asshole".Silent_Thunder said:
Also thanks for all the kind words everyone! I've been having a hard time with my real life recently due to family issues, so I know I haven't been spending as much time on this as I could be. It's nice to see that people are still enjoying it though, regardless of the dubious quality.
A while ago I had a fortress that started with all workers being female, except for the leader and militia commander. Buuurn feminists!The_root_of_all_evil said:The problem with that is that that's where all the bugs and the complaints usually come in. If you're working with a unintuitive, tough system then you know that all the people coming in want it to work, and will provide good feedback.boholikeu said:
If it's all shiny and pretty, it will just be moans about "WHY CAN'T I CHOOSE TO HAVE ALL MALE DWARVES? MY BEST COOK IS A WOMAN, THAT@S SEXIST!" etc.
Clunky works for me. Try it.
Yikes, you have my sympathies. No rush of course, though I can't wait for the next update. How oh how shall my one-armed soldier self fare in this goblin unslaught? And the rest of the fortress of course.Internet Kraken said:
Cookie Time:
Anyone who can work out why my Fortress is called Kenggeshud gets a Dwarven Cookie.
Anyone who can work out why my Fortress is called Kenggeshud gets a Dwarven Cookie.
Chapter 61: From the journal of Goden Ducimtathtak
__________________________________________________
28th Galena, 1055, Late Summer
These goblins are relentless. Reports have just come in about a small squad of them fighting an earth golem down on the beach. These aren't goblins from the last invasion either, rather a whole new batch. Clearly they want to keep applying pressure to Reveredtour to prevent us from regaining our strength.
It is, however, a rather pathetic goblin force. It consists of only 6 goblins, none of which possess ranged attacks. I'd send the military out to crush them, but Momuz is still being...unreasonable.
I have no choice but to once again initiate a lockdown.
1st Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
According to the calendar autumn has already arrived. There has been no sight of the human caravans, who normally show up before the end of summer. It is likely that they ran into the goblins on their way to Reveredtour.
Speaking of goblins, I've successfully locked them out of Reveredtour. However, it seems there is a minor issue with the lockdown.
Once again a result of stupidity. There was plenty of time for the dwarves to retreat back into the fort before the bridge was raised, yet some fool is running around out there with the goblins. It's some random mechanic that I don't give a damn about, so I will not be helping her. This is not pointless cruelty. Though Momuz has calmed down a bit, his emotional state is still a serious issue. We can't risk any major military operations with him like this.
Besides, what's one more body when we've already got a pile of corpses? Nobody shall notice her missing, and she will be swiftly forgotten within a week.
2nd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Yeah that's pretty much what I expected. At least she died quickly and didn't leave a trail of blood several yards long. Reveredtour has an abhorrent amount of blood staining it, mainly because it never rains here. No rain means there's nothing to wash away the blood, so it just dries up in the sun and becomes impossible to remove.
3rd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
They can't even build a wall. They can't even build a wall without almost getting themselves killed. There is something seriously wrong with these dwarves. Nobody can be this dumb.
6th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Despite the fact that the goblins cannot actually harm anyone at the moment, everyone is still in a panic due to the mere sight of them. Once again the fort has fallen into disarray and no work is being done. It seems I have no choice but to have the military fight the goblins and pray Momuz doesn't go crazy during the fight and decapitate someone.
7th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Despite giving the order for all soldiers to station themselves near the bridge, Momuz refuses to leave the barracks. He sits in there by himself, brooding. Any attempts to move him will most likely end poorly, so we'll just do without him. So might question the decision to send a bunch of mediocre soldiers to fight goblins without leadership. These people have not had to deal with the constant screaming of dwarves terrified by the mere presence of goblins several yards below them.
I'd participate in the battle myself, but any strenuous activity induces another session of horrible vomiting. I'll just have to settle with directing the battle from afar and hope these idiots understand basic orders and-
Momuz: "THAT'S IT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU FUCKERS!!! I WASTED MY CAREER ON THIS FUCKING PLACE, AND WHAT DID I GET??! FUCKING NOTHING!!! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! SO I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO FUCKING FIGHT PROPERLY!!!!"
By the gods...he's lost it.
8th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Momuz finally couldn't control his rage. He went crazy, and sought to kill the closes thing he could find. In this case, it was an earth golem that he cut down with frightening efficiency. I had no choice but to order the military to slay their former commander.
Fortunately, Momuz was to enraged to fight properly and had managed to exhaust himself. So the military would not have to worry about him cutting them down, as he lacked the strength to do so.
When I gave to order to kill Momuz, they hesitated. Who wouldn't when you've suddenly been told to kill the man that trained and fought alongside you. It's not something anybody wanted to do, but they quickly realized they didn't have an option. They swarmed him, doing whatever they could to take him down.
His armor allowed him to stay alive longer than most would, but he had no chance of fighting back. Tragically, Momuz died a pathetic death at the hands of a novice soldier.
It's his only kill, though I doubt he will want to brag about it.
So our greatest fighter has Died today. He died fighting against those he had once called comrades. It's...depressing, to say the least. This news is going to devastate all of Reveredtour.
However, I cannot dwell on it right now. The goblins must be eliminated. I'm sending the soldiers out to kill the goblins. Their squad seems to have split up into small groups for some reason. so it should be easy for the soldiers to overwhelm and kill the individual goblins, Even if they do lack leadership at the moment.
12th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
The goblins have been defeated. As I write this the only survivor is being chased down by the military. The military does not appear to have sustained any casualties either. I'd have given a more detailed account of the battle but I've been too busy trying to keep the fort under control. It would help if Stinthad was around, since she's more...charismatic I suppose, but she seems to have withdrawn to her own personal quarters for some reason. I don't have the time at the moment to see why.
18th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
The fortress is still incredibly unstable, but now that the goblins are gone I managed to get some control over it. A limited amount of work is now underway with the single goal of boosting the defenses of Reveredtour. However, after several days I still had not seen Stinthad, so I went looking for her. She was in her room, stuffing a few things into a bag with a gloomy look on her face.
Goden: "Stinthad, what are you doing? You need to get back to work."
Stinthad: "I don't think so..."
Goden: "And why is that?"
Stinthad: "I've decided that it would just be best for me to...leave."
Goden: "What?"
Stinthad: "I fucked everything up! I couldn't do anything right! Everyone who died here died because of me! Reveredtour would be better in your hands. I can't stay here knowing that I ruined so many lives..."
Goden: "You're serious?"
Stinthad: "After Momuz went insane...I just can't stand this anymore. Yes, I'm serious. I should have listened to everyone when they said I would fail in the first place. You were right; I'm not cut out for this."
Goden: "Look...I know things have been horrible here lately. But this is something you can overcome. At first you were a downright awful leader, but you've...improved."
Stinthad: "Improved? Everyone is dying! How is that an improvement?!?"
Goden: "Well if your management skills were the same as they were when we first came here everyone would already be dead. But you made decisions that have saved Reveredtour. And I'd be lying if I said every decision I made was perfect. So while I can't say you've done everything right, nobody has. Overall I'd say your still capable of saving Reveredtour, if you try."
Stinthad: "I didn't think you had any confidence in me..."
Goden: "I didn't, at least not until recently. But I came to a realization; if we work together, we can save this fort. You can be foolish at times, but so can I. If we both truly cooperate, we can accomplish things we wouldn't have been able to do alone."
Stinthad: "You really mean that?"
Goden: "Yes, I do."
Stinthad: "Well...how many dwarves are in the hospital?"
Goden: "A lot."
Stinthad: "I...I guess I better go help them."
Goden: "Good. You do that."
Stinthad: "Goden, thank you so much! You're a true friend!"
Friend? I didn't mean to give her the impression that I like her. She just needs to stop moping and get some work done. I did mean what I said about her being useful. The gods told me that to save this fort I'd need to work with her. Though now that I think about it, she isn't that bad. At least not as bad as she used to be. Maybe it's only because I've spent so much time dealing with her, but I guess I do like her. A bit. She can still be a complete idiot though, and I wouldn't say we're friends.
23rd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
So every time I think the fortress is under control, some new problem comes up. But I didn't think I would be dealing with the shit that happened today. Stinthad called me up to the hospital, where I was greeted by the sight of two fresh corpses. I asked what on earth had happened, and she told me that Avuz had killed them in a fit of rage.
Avuz the child.
I don't know what the fuck to do with this kid. Apparently he was really upset over his mother dying, but that doesn't justify killing someone. I don't buy that he did it accidentally either. You can't accidentally kill two dwarves with your fists. I was ready to throw him in jail, but his father stopped me. Apparently he found out about some loophole in dwarven law that keeps me from putting his kid in jail for life. So now we've got a little murderer running around and legally I'm not allowed to do anything about it.
To make matters worse, another dwarf died today. This time it was a soldier though, so it's actually a big deal as any loss of military power makes Reveredtour vulnerable.
24th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
So I've given promotions to two of our soldiers to ensure that the military has proper leadership. My selections were based on the skills of the dwarves involved, as it only made sense to make the most skilled soldier of each respective squad the leader of it. As a result, Root of all Evil is now the new captain of the Immortal Rags and the militia commander, and Cowabunga is the captain of the Steamy Tours.
Most of the soldiers recognized my choices as being proper and logical, but a few wondered why Cowabunga was leading the Steamy Tours when he is missing an arm. While that is definitely an issue, it doesn't change the fact that he still has the most fighting experience out of all the Steamy Tours. If he's an unfit leader, he'll just die and then we can replace him. No big deal.
__________________________________________________
I'm going to miss Momuz. At least he didn't kill any dwarves when he went berserk though. I was expecting him to slaughter at least a few of the soldiers, but I got lucky.
__________________________________________________
28th Galena, 1055, Late Summer
These goblins are relentless. Reports have just come in about a small squad of them fighting an earth golem down on the beach. These aren't goblins from the last invasion either, rather a whole new batch. Clearly they want to keep applying pressure to Reveredtour to prevent us from regaining our strength.
It is, however, a rather pathetic goblin force. It consists of only 6 goblins, none of which possess ranged attacks. I'd send the military out to crush them, but Momuz is still being...unreasonable.
I have no choice but to once again initiate a lockdown.
1st Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
According to the calendar autumn has already arrived. There has been no sight of the human caravans, who normally show up before the end of summer. It is likely that they ran into the goblins on their way to Reveredtour.
Speaking of goblins, I've successfully locked them out of Reveredtour. However, it seems there is a minor issue with the lockdown.
Once again a result of stupidity. There was plenty of time for the dwarves to retreat back into the fort before the bridge was raised, yet some fool is running around out there with the goblins. It's some random mechanic that I don't give a damn about, so I will not be helping her. This is not pointless cruelty. Though Momuz has calmed down a bit, his emotional state is still a serious issue. We can't risk any major military operations with him like this.
Besides, what's one more body when we've already got a pile of corpses? Nobody shall notice her missing, and she will be swiftly forgotten within a week.
2nd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Yeah that's pretty much what I expected. At least she died quickly and didn't leave a trail of blood several yards long. Reveredtour has an abhorrent amount of blood staining it, mainly because it never rains here. No rain means there's nothing to wash away the blood, so it just dries up in the sun and becomes impossible to remove.
3rd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
They can't even build a wall. They can't even build a wall without almost getting themselves killed. There is something seriously wrong with these dwarves. Nobody can be this dumb.
6th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Despite the fact that the goblins cannot actually harm anyone at the moment, everyone is still in a panic due to the mere sight of them. Once again the fort has fallen into disarray and no work is being done. It seems I have no choice but to have the military fight the goblins and pray Momuz doesn't go crazy during the fight and decapitate someone.
7th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Despite giving the order for all soldiers to station themselves near the bridge, Momuz refuses to leave the barracks. He sits in there by himself, brooding. Any attempts to move him will most likely end poorly, so we'll just do without him. So might question the decision to send a bunch of mediocre soldiers to fight goblins without leadership. These people have not had to deal with the constant screaming of dwarves terrified by the mere presence of goblins several yards below them.
I'd participate in the battle myself, but any strenuous activity induces another session of horrible vomiting. I'll just have to settle with directing the battle from afar and hope these idiots understand basic orders and-
Momuz: "THAT'S IT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU FUCKERS!!! I WASTED MY CAREER ON THIS FUCKING PLACE, AND WHAT DID I GET??! FUCKING NOTHING!!! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! SO I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO FUCKING FIGHT PROPERLY!!!!"
By the gods...he's lost it.
8th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
Momuz finally couldn't control his rage. He went crazy, and sought to kill the closes thing he could find. In this case, it was an earth golem that he cut down with frightening efficiency. I had no choice but to order the military to slay their former commander.
Fortunately, Momuz was to enraged to fight properly and had managed to exhaust himself. So the military would not have to worry about him cutting them down, as he lacked the strength to do so.
When I gave to order to kill Momuz, they hesitated. Who wouldn't when you've suddenly been told to kill the man that trained and fought alongside you. It's not something anybody wanted to do, but they quickly realized they didn't have an option. They swarmed him, doing whatever they could to take him down.
His armor allowed him to stay alive longer than most would, but he had no chance of fighting back. Tragically, Momuz died a pathetic death at the hands of a novice soldier.
It's his only kill, though I doubt he will want to brag about it.
So our greatest fighter has Died today. He died fighting against those he had once called comrades. It's...depressing, to say the least. This news is going to devastate all of Reveredtour.
However, I cannot dwell on it right now. The goblins must be eliminated. I'm sending the soldiers out to kill the goblins. Their squad seems to have split up into small groups for some reason. so it should be easy for the soldiers to overwhelm and kill the individual goblins, Even if they do lack leadership at the moment.
12th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
The goblins have been defeated. As I write this the only survivor is being chased down by the military. The military does not appear to have sustained any casualties either. I'd have given a more detailed account of the battle but I've been too busy trying to keep the fort under control. It would help if Stinthad was around, since she's more...charismatic I suppose, but she seems to have withdrawn to her own personal quarters for some reason. I don't have the time at the moment to see why.
18th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
The fortress is still incredibly unstable, but now that the goblins are gone I managed to get some control over it. A limited amount of work is now underway with the single goal of boosting the defenses of Reveredtour. However, after several days I still had not seen Stinthad, so I went looking for her. She was in her room, stuffing a few things into a bag with a gloomy look on her face.
Goden: "Stinthad, what are you doing? You need to get back to work."
Stinthad: "I don't think so..."
Goden: "And why is that?"
Stinthad: "I've decided that it would just be best for me to...leave."
Goden: "What?"
Stinthad: "I fucked everything up! I couldn't do anything right! Everyone who died here died because of me! Reveredtour would be better in your hands. I can't stay here knowing that I ruined so many lives..."
Goden: "You're serious?"
Stinthad: "After Momuz went insane...I just can't stand this anymore. Yes, I'm serious. I should have listened to everyone when they said I would fail in the first place. You were right; I'm not cut out for this."
Goden: "Look...I know things have been horrible here lately. But this is something you can overcome. At first you were a downright awful leader, but you've...improved."
Stinthad: "Improved? Everyone is dying! How is that an improvement?!?"
Goden: "Well if your management skills were the same as they were when we first came here everyone would already be dead. But you made decisions that have saved Reveredtour. And I'd be lying if I said every decision I made was perfect. So while I can't say you've done everything right, nobody has. Overall I'd say your still capable of saving Reveredtour, if you try."
Stinthad: "I didn't think you had any confidence in me..."
Goden: "I didn't, at least not until recently. But I came to a realization; if we work together, we can save this fort. You can be foolish at times, but so can I. If we both truly cooperate, we can accomplish things we wouldn't have been able to do alone."
Stinthad: "You really mean that?"
Goden: "Yes, I do."
Stinthad: "Well...how many dwarves are in the hospital?"
Goden: "A lot."
Stinthad: "I...I guess I better go help them."
Goden: "Good. You do that."
Stinthad: "Goden, thank you so much! You're a true friend!"
Friend? I didn't mean to give her the impression that I like her. She just needs to stop moping and get some work done. I did mean what I said about her being useful. The gods told me that to save this fort I'd need to work with her. Though now that I think about it, she isn't that bad. At least not as bad as she used to be. Maybe it's only because I've spent so much time dealing with her, but I guess I do like her. A bit. She can still be a complete idiot though, and I wouldn't say we're friends.
23rd Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
So every time I think the fortress is under control, some new problem comes up. But I didn't think I would be dealing with the shit that happened today. Stinthad called me up to the hospital, where I was greeted by the sight of two fresh corpses. I asked what on earth had happened, and she told me that Avuz had killed them in a fit of rage.
Avuz the child.
I don't know what the fuck to do with this kid. Apparently he was really upset over his mother dying, but that doesn't justify killing someone. I don't buy that he did it accidentally either. You can't accidentally kill two dwarves with your fists. I was ready to throw him in jail, but his father stopped me. Apparently he found out about some loophole in dwarven law that keeps me from putting his kid in jail for life. So now we've got a little murderer running around and legally I'm not allowed to do anything about it.
To make matters worse, another dwarf died today. This time it was a soldier though, so it's actually a big deal as any loss of military power makes Reveredtour vulnerable.
24th Limestone, 1055, Early Autumn
So I've given promotions to two of our soldiers to ensure that the military has proper leadership. My selections were based on the skills of the dwarves involved, as it only made sense to make the most skilled soldier of each respective squad the leader of it. As a result, Root of all Evil is now the new captain of the Immortal Rags and the militia commander, and Cowabunga is the captain of the Steamy Tours.
Most of the soldiers recognized my choices as being proper and logical, but a few wondered why Cowabunga was leading the Steamy Tours when he is missing an arm. While that is definitely an issue, it doesn't change the fact that he still has the most fighting experience out of all the Steamy Tours. If he's an unfit leader, he'll just die and then we can replace him. No big deal.
__________________________________________________
I'm going to miss Momuz. At least he didn't kill any dwarves when he went berserk though. I was expecting him to slaughter at least a few of the soldiers, but I got lucky.
Nice, couldn't get the Dwarven word for TeamGeneral-Veok said:
Eat up, it's made with freshly shredded donkey lung.
If I've got the choice for a successor Kraken, I'd like to choose the General here.
BTW...the writing on that last bit...That was quite moving indeed. *sniffles*
