Let's Play Dwarf Fortress: Syndrome Conundrum
- Thread starter Internet Kraken
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The reason that beak dog has a name is because he killed the goblin that had been riding him. This happended right when the goblins arrived and I'm not sure why. I've heard of goblin loyalty cascades in old versions in which goblin forces would kill each other, but that involved entire sieges rather than a single soldier.General-Veok said:
The size of a siege is baed on the population and wealth of the fortress. Reveredtour is a weak, crumbling fort but it still maintains a huge value because we have a lot of high quality goods being produced. This means the goblin attacks only increase in ferocity. Which wouldn't be as big a problem if I had managed defense properly from the start.Smiles said:
Still, this siege seems unusually large.
Wow I love how my dwarf consideres the doctor drowning "no serious wounds" But don't worry, I will make a fine replacement! I'm the family reunion "Operation" Champion, and I swear I only cheated half the time!Internet Kraken said:
On a diffrent note, please tell me you have some sort of secret deathweapon you havent told us about. I don't think i could bear to see ReveredTour turn into another Townbrush.
Yikes. Well perhaps I should keep my yap shut next time I think of a suggestion. Just had most of the dwarves in one of my own forts killed & horribly mauled by some sneaky cave crocodiles. Seems I had forgotten to floor over one little tile over a ramp leading further into the caverns. Fun times were had by all.
While the current situation is a bit grim, things in Reveredtour could be a lot worse of course. Looking forward to more installments of this story.
While the current situation is a bit grim, things in Reveredtour could be a lot worse of course. Looking forward to more installments of this story.
I've seen that happen in .18, too. In my case it was a fight involving a goblin general and his squad vs. another squad, IIRC.Internet Kraken said:
So rather than write an update today I instead decided it would be best to get the Reveredtour save up and running the newest version of Dwarf Fortress. The reason for this is because Toady has stated that he's going to get around to fixing some of the old bugs, which will benefit Reveredtour in a lot of ways. I can't utilize most of the games new features, so very little will probably change on the surface. Probably.
Therapist also works with the newest version so I can play the game whilst retaining my sanity. I tried to get Stonesense working but I'm and idiot and couldn't figure out how to do it properly.
Therapist also works with the newest version so I can play the game whilst retaining my sanity. I tried to get Stonesense working but I'm and idiot and couldn't figure out how to do it properly.
Alas, .20 and .21 only fixed bugs introduced in .19. It'll be .22 and .23 that finally take care of some of the older extant bugs.Internet Kraken said:
Love some of the bugfixes:
# Stopped heroes in world gen from picking fights with dead megabeasts
# Adjusted value of bees
# Stopped dwarves from encrusting honeycombs with jewels, etc.
and just
# Deer antlers
# Stopped heroes in world gen from picking fights with dead megabeasts
# Adjusted value of bees
# Stopped dwarves from encrusting honeycombs with jewels, etc.
and just
# Deer antlers
I think there could be a whole column devoted to entertaining patch notes. I think I remember an article either on Joystiq or Rock Paper Shotgun to that effect, some months back.
That...is a lot of goblins. I mean come on that's just sad. Well, that leaves you one thing then;
... Oh. Well, ok, you're fucked.
... Oh. Well, ok, you're fucked.
I so want to know what was wrong with them.The_root_of_all_evil said:
Does it involve these guys [http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Harlequin]?
Yeah I reckon that'd help.
I'm guessing that their horns were made out of the wrong material, assigned to both male and females, or outright removed. Not sure how Toady even managed to mess them up though since they were fine before this version.Cowabungaa said:
Writing stuff for Warhammer 40K must be one of the best jobs, since you get to think of ridiculous shit and so long as it's brutal and grimdark they put it in.
Awwwwww, I was hoping it was something amazing, like antlers the size of 10 dwarves or something like that. DF has the coolest bugs. Wasn't the varocity of carp also a bug? Well, an ascended glitch [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AscendedGlitch] by now.Internet Kraken said:
True that, it gets even better:
Warhammer 40K is the Painkiller/Bulletstorm/Duke Nukem of the tabletop world. The Harlequins are surprisingly non-grimdark though. Just...insane.
Reveredtour Intermission
__________________________________________________
To Master Azstrog Cursewarmth of the Witch of Silencing,
My lord, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that your plan has worked out perfectly. Master Smunstu has been slain, as you had asked. I had managed to make almost all of my soldiers loyal to your cause, so when Smunstu foolishly decided to lead a siege herself she was surrounded by enemies. Disposing of her was rather easy, as she barely had time to react after her own beak dog knocked her down and tore her head open.
The Spiders of Stability now lack a leader, and the leader you choose to install as a puppet will no doubt take control with minimal resistance. It is a shame that we had to resort to such extreme measures. I served many years under Azstrog, but her refusal to cooperate with your kingdom could not be allowed. The goblins must no longer be divided if we are to survive. We must combine our forces and drive the invaders out of the land that rightfully belongs to us. As per your instructions, the dwarves of Reveredtour shall be the first to go.
Map of Reveredtour [http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/9545/reveredtour.png]
As you can see from this map, the dwarves have begun to design their pathetic fort with our attacks in mind. Walls have been built surrounding the walkways, preventing our archers from firing upon the dwarves from outside. Scouts are examining the fort to find flaws in their design, but if there's one thing these short drunkards are good at its building walls. Trolls could beat on them for days and not even make a dent. It's a shame to, for if we could get in the dwarves would have no chance of resisting us.
The total population of Reveredtour is only 58 dwarves. We have over twice as many soldiers, and unlike the dwarves they are all trained and armed. The actual military of Reveredtour, if you can really consider it to be one, consists only of 8 poorly trained soldier led by 2 commanders of marginal talent. I'd credit their current lack of strength to our attacks, but really the reason they are so weak is simply because these dwarves are idiots. I know that dwarves in general are about as logical as an ogre, but the dwarves here are exceptionally stupid. They kill and injure themselves on a regular basis. For example, we found a bloated dwarf corpse lying on the banks of the river, no doubt the result of one their ridiculous projects. Well we went to feed the corpse to the beak dogs when one of the soldiers noticed a journal next to it. Turns out this was actually a collection of medical reports. Just look at this;
From what I gather the S signifies an inability to stand, and the G represents impaired grasping abilities usually from the loss of a hand or entire arm. So apparently a significant chunk of the population has crippling health problems. You'll also notice that both the commanders appear to be missing an arm, as if the soldiers here weren't a big enough joke already.
Though I hate to admit it, but despite our efforts the fort does remain fairly prosperous, assuming you ignore the constant death.
Not sure how they are managing to create such wealth with everyone in there dropping like flies. Doesn't matter though, since all that food and wealth won't save them when we find a way in. And we will find a way in. I pledge to continue campaigns against the dwarves of Reveredtour until their fort is nothing but a gaudy wreck. I'll send you another letter once we make some progress. I wish you luck in uniting our two nations, though I'm sure you will not need it.
From Astruk Astolatu, Pikemaster and General of the Spiders of Stability.
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
To Master Azstrog Cursewarmth of the Witch of Silencing,
My lord, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that your plan has worked out perfectly. Master Smunstu has been slain, as you had asked. I had managed to make almost all of my soldiers loyal to your cause, so when Smunstu foolishly decided to lead a siege herself she was surrounded by enemies. Disposing of her was rather easy, as she barely had time to react after her own beak dog knocked her down and tore her head open.
The Spiders of Stability now lack a leader, and the leader you choose to install as a puppet will no doubt take control with minimal resistance. It is a shame that we had to resort to such extreme measures. I served many years under Azstrog, but her refusal to cooperate with your kingdom could not be allowed. The goblins must no longer be divided if we are to survive. We must combine our forces and drive the invaders out of the land that rightfully belongs to us. As per your instructions, the dwarves of Reveredtour shall be the first to go.
Map of Reveredtour [http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/9545/reveredtour.png]
As you can see from this map, the dwarves have begun to design their pathetic fort with our attacks in mind. Walls have been built surrounding the walkways, preventing our archers from firing upon the dwarves from outside. Scouts are examining the fort to find flaws in their design, but if there's one thing these short drunkards are good at its building walls. Trolls could beat on them for days and not even make a dent. It's a shame to, for if we could get in the dwarves would have no chance of resisting us.
The total population of Reveredtour is only 58 dwarves. We have over twice as many soldiers, and unlike the dwarves they are all trained and armed. The actual military of Reveredtour, if you can really consider it to be one, consists only of 8 poorly trained soldier led by 2 commanders of marginal talent. I'd credit their current lack of strength to our attacks, but really the reason they are so weak is simply because these dwarves are idiots. I know that dwarves in general are about as logical as an ogre, but the dwarves here are exceptionally stupid. They kill and injure themselves on a regular basis. For example, we found a bloated dwarf corpse lying on the banks of the river, no doubt the result of one their ridiculous projects. Well we went to feed the corpse to the beak dogs when one of the soldiers noticed a journal next to it. Turns out this was actually a collection of medical reports. Just look at this;
From what I gather the S signifies an inability to stand, and the G represents impaired grasping abilities usually from the loss of a hand or entire arm. So apparently a significant chunk of the population has crippling health problems. You'll also notice that both the commanders appear to be missing an arm, as if the soldiers here weren't a big enough joke already.
Though I hate to admit it, but despite our efforts the fort does remain fairly prosperous, assuming you ignore the constant death.
Not sure how they are managing to create such wealth with everyone in there dropping like flies. Doesn't matter though, since all that food and wealth won't save them when we find a way in. And we will find a way in. I pledge to continue campaigns against the dwarves of Reveredtour until their fort is nothing but a gaudy wreck. I'll send you another letter once we make some progress. I wish you luck in uniting our two nations, though I'm sure you will not need it.
From Astruk Astolatu, Pikemaster and General of the Spiders of Stability.
__________________________________________________
![Fr]anc[is](https://eg-forums-escapist-data-bucket.fra1.digitaloceanspaces.com/data/avatars/l/93/93202.jpg?1620797781){kind=avatar}