Make a Great Game Sound Boring

[Segadroid]

Fallout 3: Find dad, help him clean septic tank.

That was brilliant.

Half-life 2: You walk around with a crowbar and smash crates.

Legend of Zelda: You talk to animals and people, then whail around a sharp stick.

Tetris: You stack things.

Halo: Combat Evolved: You crash in a pod on a ring and try to get off it while aliens shoot at you with purple squirt-guns.

 

[natster43]

Battlefield 3: You shoot at someone a few hundred feet away, then die.
any Super Mario: You Jump on a thing, then you pick up random flowers and mushrooms to make stuff happen.
Mortal Kombat: Punch someone over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...
any Pokemon: Help some old person fill out an encyclopedia on animals.

 

[Toriver]

Genesis Sonic games: Hold right to run. Jump. Get rings and make it to the signpost. Sometimes you'll have to jump on a fatass in a car eight times.

Zelda OoT: Get sword and shield. Use them to get shiny macguffins. Get bigger sword and grow up. Get some more shiny macguffins. Save princess. You don't get the girl.

Pokemon: Navigate menus. Watch still picture sprites move. Play rock-paper-scissors to win.

EDIT: One more:
Kirby: Eat. Float. Beat up a hammer-wielding penguin.

 

[OldKingClancy]

Canis Canem Edit (Or Bully): Go to school.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

THESE are pretty much what we are getting at aren't they? I saw them whilst browsing the net earlier, and it's pretty much this topic!

'Indated High-Budget Game Fun For Disillusioned Stay-At-Homes Who Don't Know Any Better' Is the link on the page for the game section, and it's been made into a kind of game where you read the synopsis, and try and guess the game! Pretty difficult for some!

Although if I were to do one... Batman Arkham Asylum:- Man in fancy dress takes enemy to new home, but gets stuck. Runs around a small island in circles until all inhabitants of island have grown bigger and stronger where he recaptures enemy. Along route he trips out on some bad acid a few times, and has psychedelic dreams...

 

[TheOneBearded]

Batman Arkham Asylum/City - Throw a punch here, throw a Batarang there - rinse and repeat

Skyrim - Go into the end of a dungeon, fight boss, look for big ass chest or Dragon Wall - rinse and repeat over 200 times

Bioshock 1 and 2 - Take awesome drugs.....and not get high as a kite

Mass Effect 2 - I hope you have the Seven Dwarves on speed dial for you'll be mining all day long

Fallout: New Vegas - Get awesome gun, run up to a guy's face, use VATS

 

[RHadley]

So you're in this really weird attempt at england - that looks nothing like england by the way, and you're sitting in a room, when someone needs to come through. After the leave, you go where they went, staying behing them. Then you learn you need to click (or press keyboard / controller buttons) on certain things in order to kill them. You catch up, and are told to follow them. The important bloke dies, you leave, get told far too many things, and begin wandering around for anything to click. Oh, and there are gates to some weird place with towers, and orbs you must press buttons while looking at.

Any guesses?
Elder Scrolls Oblivion.

 

[Gecko clown]

Skyrim was good. Then it took an arrow in the knee.

I used to make witty jokes, then my sense of humour took an arrow to the knee.

OT: Portal, walk around similar looking rooms shooting at walls, then shoot at walls really fast to kill a computer.

 

[Zaverexus]

In Fallout 3 you walk through some green-gray rubble for miles until you find some stuff and pop into a program to click on what you want to shoot, then talk to some stiff-looking NPC's.
Greatest game ever.

 

[Mike Richards]

Press buttons, something happens

 

[RHadley]

Press buttons, something happens

Every game ever, it seems.

 

[Mark Chipperfield]

Half Life: You break boxes with a crowbar.
LA Noire: It's about picking up items.
Portal: It's about holes. Bow chicka wa wow.
GTA IV: You're a criminal who likes going over ramps.
Dead Rising 2: Some zombies in a mall.
Minecraft: There is no objective.

 

[Sealpower]

ArmA-series/Flashpoint(original):

Spend half an hour walking, get shot by someone you can't see, start over...

Repeat forever

 

[someonehairy-ish]

In minecraft all you do is sloooowly build stuff that looks shitty anyway, and then it gets blown up and you have to start again :/ forever!

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Street fighter: Down, down-forward, forward, punch. Repeat until victory or your opponent punches you in real life.

Hahahahaha. You win.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

You click on groups of nine blue things to move them to attack groups of red things until the red things are dead. (Warcraft 2.)

You wait around in very dark corridors while counting your ammunition. (System Shock / System Shock 2.)

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Doom: It's an FPS where you can't jump or crouch or aim up or down. No sniper rifles, no grenades. No story development, characters or voice acting.

And all these are supposed to be BAD things?

 

[Broady Brio]

Beat up people.

That is every single fighting game summed up in three words.

 

[redisforever]

Half-Life: Hit ugly things with a crowbar. Also, science.

Garrys Mod: Do stuff. What stuff? Just stuff.

Mario: Go right. Sometimes, you go left, or up, but mostly right.

 

[maninahat]

A failing, office sales team member struggles to close any decent deals. He resorts to stealing one of his more competant team member's clients, and bungles that deal too. It results in his dismissal, along with an incompetant car mechanic. They visit a dam, a lighthouse, and a pretentious jazz club full of smug beatniks. The villain owns the sales company and has an interest in growing flowers. His greatest crime involves not giving clients the package holiday they deserve.

What game?